OkCupid Gives Us The Mathematics of Female Beauty While Attempting to Avoid Judging Anyone

photo of OK cupid pictures

As usual, OkCupid’s latest blogpost tries to take some of the mystery out of online dating, explaining “The Mathematics of Female Beauty.” They’re expanding upon their work about what white people really like, and the difference between straight sex and gay sex, as if we weren’t aware of both those answers on some deep subconscious level. But this new post made me wonder: what’s the difference between facesnarking and healthy commentary and conjecture?

Specifically focused on women (don’t worry, men are to come), this piece “investigates female attractiveness, but without the usual photo analysis stuff. Instead, we look past a woman’s picture, into the reaction she creates in the reptile mind of the human male.” Basically, with the permission of some OkCupid users, the writers looked at different photos of women to see whether those that were rated the highest on their site actually got the most messages. The results might surprise you, or maybe not: they found that women whose looks are more polarizing actually get more messages than women who …

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People Getting Dimple Jobs to Look Like Cheryl Cole and the World Gets More Ridiculous

photo of cheryl cole's dimples

A recent rise in requests for “dimpleplasty” has been attributed to the charming dimples of Cheryl Cole. Apparently people have been flocking en masse (or at least more than they had previously) to their friendly neighborhood plastic surgeons in order to get their very own pair of those adorable dimples of hers.

Let’s briefly explore how this surgery is accomplished:

The dimples will also not look entirely natural, as they remain permanently rather than appearing only when you grin. The operation, dimpleplasty, involves making a tiny cut in the skin to create a small depression.

A stitch is then used to tack the underside of the skin down to a deeper layer and hold it in place. Once the suture dissolves, permanent scar tissue will remain to maintain the dimple.

Well that’s cheery. What’s more is that little is known by doctors about the long term effects of such surgeries. Since it’s a relatively new procedure, there is a good chance that these darling dimpled cheeks will eventually droop with age and become more awkward looking. (Call me terrible, but my first thought was if there is any kind of karma in the world, please let this be true.) Also, let’s all take a moment and think about the perma-dimple that is there whether or not the person is smiling? I’m getting weird visions of Stepford wives here.
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NSFW Labiaplasties: What’s a “Normal” Vagina Supposed to Look Like?

Warning: If you are easily grossed out or have a general distaste for seeing vaginas all over your computer, I highly recommend that you do not watch this video. The video contains graphic footage of labiaplasties and live images of vagina. So, if you’re at work, do me a favor … don’t get fired. Watch it at home. It’s actually pretty interesting!

According to the video (jump in to view), the general public only appreciates “neat and tidy” vulvas, vaginas and labias. This is the primary basis for the industry of labiaplasty surgery. Researchers spoke with photographers and producers for soft-core pornography magazines and editors claimed that not only were certain women’s vulvas allowed to appear in the magazines, even they had to be photoshopped to a certain extent in an effort to avoid “offending” anyone with their, uh, flappy lips.

Smut-magazine editors also claim that feminine surgeries are on the rise, as women are becoming increasingly paranoid about the way their ladybits look.

I’m disgusted by this … I’ve heard of women undergoing hymen reconstruction and post-childbirth vagina “freshening,” but surgical alteration on your vulva and labia, for crying out loud?

What next, dare I ask?

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