Tag Archives: violence

Religion and Family Violence

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There has been a steady rise in non-affiliated religious people across the past twenty years. This is perhaps due to the “inverse relationship between modernization and religion” and growing acceptance of science. However, religion still plays a part in what many people consider being right versus wrong, and therefore can change a person’s actions.

In a nutshell, we seem to hate on religion around here. Whether you believe or not, religion still has it’s perks.

Considering the Torah, a woman is supposed to maintain peace in the household, or Shalom Bayit. Obviously, peace in the household is the desired state, but is it acceptable for a man to harm a woman for not maintaining the peace? Others use the Qur’an to justify abuse, and some Christians cite Ephesians 5:21-33 (the Bible) in the concept that wives are supposed to fully submit to husbands.

All three holy books consider divorce to be a sin. Therefore, if a woman is to leave an abusive situation and become divorced, she may have to sever ties to her religious community. Many religious leaders give bad advice or attempt to cover up abusive situations, due to their lack of training in the subject matter.

The above concepts from the holy books may help justify abuse or prevent a victim from leaving an abusive situation.

Individuals are using institutionalized, spiritual belief systems as backup for their harming others. In our American society, religion is often cited by the unreligious as a concept to keep the people from doing horrible actions to others. Religion serves as deterrent besides for the concept of jail. Legal issues ensue when an individual is caught doing something illegal.

However, religious issues of guilt and punishment are plausibly always happening, as a deity sees all and knows all. In the next life, heaven, etc, an individual will pay for their sins as decided by the greater power. All of these ideas are positive in nature, since they are designed to prevent a person from sinning/ harming someone else.

Religion is rarely applied in the opposite direction: how a religious belief may justify abuse.

Perhaps Jesus should have written an 11th Commandment: “Don’t hurt others.” Oh, wait, that would be “love thy neighbor as thyself”!



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Don’t Hit Women. Thanks, Grey’s Anatomy.

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I feel as if all of my posts have supremely obvious titles. Don’t Hit Women. Abercrombie Sucks. PornPornPorn. Sometimes, the world needs to be the point blank, black and white, throw it in your face kind of obvious.

Thursday, May 9th hosted the newest Grey’s Anatomy episode. Tonight will be the season finale. Last Thursday’s episode Readiness is All was emotional, dramatic, and fantastic. All are to be expected from a hit tv show that has stood up over nine seasons and has always been in the top 5 dramas currently on television.

Grey’s Anatomy has touched on many heart-wrenching and controversial issues over the years. It also plays host to a myriad of brilliant and admirable female character’s, including the woman that the show is named for, Dr. Meredith Grey. These women save lives and kick ass. They have fantastic, formidable careers and love passionately. They also sometimes make minor mistakes, make mistakes that can’t be condoned such as affairs, and deal with very real emotional issues.

They may be dramatic television characters that deal with horrific problems, but sometimes I wish that I was a Cardiothoracic surgeon surrounded by equally admirable, brilliant, studly men.

As the women of Grey’s would say, that sounds McDreamy. McSomething, I suppose.

Last week’s episode focused on a domestic violence situation between one doctor (Jo) and her doctor boyfriend (Jason). They had hit each other. She left the incident with facial bruising, and he left with brain trauma that nearly killed him. When he awoke, another doctor (Alex) blackmails Jason into not pressing charges. Alex tells Jason that is never acceptable to hit a girl. Jason protests, saying that Jo hit him as well. Alex responds with “don’t hit a girl; take it or walk away.”

I don’t agree. This type of situation isn’t to be excused. Take it? He should just take the violence? No, he should have walked away. I don’t think we should just excuse domestic violence when it is at the hands of a woman. Neither of them should be acting upon violent thoughts.

Instead of saying “don’t hit a girl,” we should be saying “don’t hit.” If we want equal treatment, we need to give it back to the men as well. I know that this common phrase, “don’t hit a woman,” is part gentlemanly ideals, part encouraging self restraint in men. This implys that men have lessened control over their violent thoughts; that they should restrain their self when these thoughts are towards women, but perhaps it is more ok for a man to hit a man. Men being manly, right? No. Just stop.

Men, don’t hit men. Women, don’t hit men. Men, don’t hit women. Women, don’t hit women! Don’t hurt each other! Walk away!

Don’t take it, and don’t give it back unless you really do have to defend yourself. If you really think that you will get hurt if you don’t fight back, and there is no way to leave the situation, then by any means possible, defend yourself. Defend yourself until you are able to leave the situation.

I worked at a suicide hotline for a notable duration, and I was amazed by what terrible situations people’s lives truly could be in. These calls were not from third world nations or slums, but from my backyard.

People face violence everywhere. Violence happens in every pay scale. Don’t be a part of it. Stand up for yourself without breaking someone’s face.



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Stars They’re Just Like Us … and Sometimes Even Worse

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Day number two in Celebrity Rants: Halle Berry is crazy. We’ve all over looked this fact because she’s drop-dead gorgeous, but Halle Berry is crazy. Remember when she was involved in a hit and run? Yes, she was. She hit someone and left them. Then I saw her on Oprah talking about when she was found out she was pregnant and she said she took 32 pregnancy tests and when it was positive she got up and ran around the house screaming like a woman on Maury. Bitch is crazy. Now it’s turning out her life is also crazy.

It was a little odd that when she broke up with baby-daddy, Gabriel Aubry, and she immediately wanted to move to Paris with new beau, Oliver Martinez. After all that, she fought for sole custody. (Take it easy lady, why do you need sole custody?) Turns out it didn’t matter, because it wasn’t granted. This must have pissed Oliver Martinez off, because he went medieval on Gabriel Aubry’s face.

Witnesses say Aubry was dropping their daugher, Nahla, off when Martinez came out and approached him and said, “We have to move on”. Aubry then allegedly pushed and punched Martinez, which was a stupid move because Martinez used to box competitively. A scuffle ensued and Martinez ends up pinning Aubry to the ground while performing a citizen’s arrest. Aubry “was booked for a private persons arrest for battery,” an LAPD spokesperson confirmed. Both men went to the hospital, Aubry for his face, and Martinez for his hand. Nahla thankfully missed the whole ordeal because Berry took her inside.

Seriously, though, these are grown people. These are grown, successful people—what the hell are they doing beating each other up in the driveway on Thanksgiving?! I’ve got say, I’m a little disappointed in these three adults. It was found that Aubry is a good dad and that’s why Berry wasn’t allowed sole custody, and anyway, why do you need to take away a guy’s kid? How selfish are you? You want to go play house with your new dude in Paris so you just throw the other guy away? Could you really not work out a schedule in which your child spends time both in the States and in France? Are you not a multimillionaire that had a baby with another millionaire and are now living with a new millionaire? Can you not afford a plane ride for your kid?

Grow up people. Grow up.



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Fury

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The “Innocence Of Muslims” film was atrocious, but the violent response was worse.

Because violence is always worse than the hateful, inexcusable words or images that prompt it. Because it’s violence.*

Just to be clear, I do not have any special reverence for Mohammed. I feel more or less the same way about the Prophet who founded Islam as I do about Jesus. To quote Alicia Florrick of The Good Wife: “I think that Jesus was a man who lived a long time ago who has very little to do with me.” And I do not expect for people of different religions than my own to have any particular reverence for the Emperor Julian, or for Hypatia, or for Gerald Gardner, or for any number of other figures honored by my religious community. I think that that is normal for people of different religions.

So when I say that the “Innocence Of Muslims” low-budget YouTube film was despicable, it is because no one should ever go so far out of his or her way to denigrate an historical figure in whom others treasure and whose actions were never recorded as or even speculated to be as nefarious as they are presented. If competing historical texts, or even religious texts, portray a figure differently, even negatively, then I understand that people might reproduce these portrayals in various media.

But when no credible historical or religious scholar would suggest such a characterization, that is character-assassination. It’s not an argument; it’s an attack on a person. In this case, it’s a baseless attack on Islam and the billion or so Muslims on the planet. One can absolutely be critical of Islam or any other system of belief. If your faith cannot withstand some outside criticism, then you have a problem. But this was, honestly, a stupid attempt to make a nonsensical film that will enrage a lot of people throughout the world.

Unfortunately, it worked.

It is important to note that, as shocking as the wave of deadly protests were, they were not indicative of the beliefs and behaviors of Muslims. It was a minority of Muslims who were angrily protesting against the United States (and while that alone was wrong, please remember that, to many people, it can be difficult for people from very different parts of the world to understand how something like this could be made in our country without the consent of our government), and it was a small minority of those protestors who turned violent.

The protests were unfair and did not make sense to us, because they were protesting the United States rather than the maker of this film. The violence was inexcusable, and innocent people died as a result. But it is also unfair that some are identifying this as a “Muslim behavior.” The violent protestors are as much representative of the global Muslim community as the hate-mongering Westboro Baptist Church is representative of Christianity, or Protestant Christianity, or American Protestantism.

A little perspective.

*There are circumstances in which violence is appropriate. If violence is already being used upon (or is about to be used upon) humans, non-human animals, ecosystems, or property, violence is an acceptable and appropriate response.



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