Elementary Does It Correctly

 

First of all, it’s May 4th. Star Wars Day. May The Fourth Be With You.

Guys, do you watch Elementary? I know that some of the people who watch BBC’s Sherlock (of which there have been only six episodes because you can get away with that in the UK, apparently) are diehard loyalists. Personally, I’m kind of tired of looking at Bennysnoot Cummerbund* and I don’t even watch the show (his face is just unavoidable on Tumblr), so Sherlock will probably never catch my interest. That said, I am a huge supporter of liking both—do not think of different Sherlock shows as mutually exclusive.

Anyway, I love Elementary. Jonny Lee Miller plays Sherlock Holmes. The beautiful, talented, and flawless Lucy Liu plays Joan Watson. I absolutely love the show—most of the first season has aired. It’s not as good as NBC’s brand new show Hannibal, but then, Hannibal is the best live-action show on the air right now (and definitely my favorite new show of 2013).

Right, so. Elementary. It’s fun. Some people find Jonny Lee Miller very attractive—I don’t. I appreciate his character’s competence, though. I love genderbending of Dr. Watson’s character into a woman (a former surgeon). And, seriously, Lucy Liu is amazing and perfect and if you do not believe me then you have obviously not seen Kill Bill and/or anything else that features Lucy Liu.

The character of “Mrs. Hudson” is not as much of a staple of the Sherlock Holmes universe as the titular character or Professor Moriarty (whom we have yet to see directly), but she is a character in the original stories and in many subsequent adaptations. She is often Sherlock’s landlord and something of a fussbudget about tidiness.

Elementary only introduced their Mrs. Hudson recently. She is an associate (what Sherlock calls his friends) of Sherlock’s. She is a self-taught intellectual who finds herself acting as a “muse” (a mistress) to various men who may be married (in her first episode, she comes to Sherlock for a place to sleep during a break-up with her lover, who is clearly besotted with her and is promising to leave his wife but we all know that story, right?). She is a tall, beautiful woman. She likes things tidy—at one point, she cleans the front room of Sherlock’s brownstone (which Watson is always wanting for him to clean). Mrs. Hudson also rearranges Sherlocks books. He asks how she arranged them. Mrs. Hudson replies:

“By subject matter, then by author. You start with hard sciences on the north wall, then you move clockwise around the room in descending order of academic rigor. That way, Physics by Aristotle is as far away from You Can Learn Telepathy by Morton Zuckerman as possible.”

That was the line with which I really fell in love with her.

And oh, by the way, she’s transgender. Played by a transgender actress.

I think that sometimes people include members of various minorities for the wrong reasons, or in the wrong way. Not every gay character should be a fashion expert (like in real life—I might have perfect hair and always be clean and smell good, but I dress in a t-shirt and shorts as often as possible because I value my comfort). A lot of what happens nowadays with gay characters or certain religious minorities is a step in the right direction but still missing the we’re-all-people point (and kind of reminds me of blackspoitation).

Elementary does it correctly. No one fumbles, accidentally calling Mrs. Hudson a “he” or “it.” Her story is not about the fact that she’s transgender. Her boyfriend isn’t breaking up with her because she’s transgender. She is not being discriminated against or targeted and coming to Sherlock for help because she’s transgender. She’s just a woman in a rocky relationship and she needs a place to stay for a couple of nights. While she’s there, she does some tidying, and ends up being hired by Sherlock to come in periodically to clean.

I want to see more television like this. Transgender characters are not a punchline, and they’re also not all about being transgender. Being born with an anatomical sex that does not match your gender is not the be-all and end-all of a person, and that should be reflected in fictional characters.

Well done, Elementary. I love it. And I love Mrs. Hudson.

 

*Okay, so his name is Benedict Cumberbatch, but that is ridiculous and changing his name every time that you say or write it helps lift you back from the fatigue of constantly seeing his face on Tumblr (because the Sherlock fandom is one of the “big three” of Tumblr, along with Supernatural and Doctor Who. I only watch one of those but I see plenty of the other two anyway). Blanderwort Cumberland will also be the primary antagonist in the new Star Trek film, Into Darkness. So you can expect that I will see the film but also spend much of the time glowering for various reasons.



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Jenny McCarthy M.D?

Why is Jenny McCarthy still on TV? She’s a 90’s icon. She’s a Playmate. She’s a psycho. But she’s not current and has no business being on my TV even if it is only a VH1 show! Let me go back, McCarthy has talk show on VH1 and an upcoming show on NBC. Don’t ask me why. She seems to be stuck in the 90’s where she was relevant.
Her talk show features pole dancers, her one the floor eating a sucker, and dick jokes. It’s The Man Show with Jenny McCarthy. I think she thinks that makes her cool. “Hey I’m a chick that likes strippers and penis!” Yeah, we know. You posed naked, you sleep around, you constantly talk about how you bought your boobs and they pay your bills—we get it, the problem is she doesn’t.

It’s not cool to like strippers and it’s not cool to play to those stereotypes. I’m a pretty girl that farts, love me! It’s an old sad act and at forty years-old she should be over this. I’m not shaming Jenny McCarthy I have a genuine problem with her. I’m sure most people will say I hate her because she’s blonde and has fake boobs—but that’s not true. I hate her because she’s dangerous. That’s right I said it!

Jenny McCarthy has a platform and she shouldn’t. She was famous in the 90’s and for some reason she thinks that means she can dole out medical advice. McCarthy has a son named Evan. Evan has autism. That’s very sad, it’s very complicated. I feel for McCarthy that she has a special needs child. However, she makes it very hard for me to support her when she says writes blogs titled, “My son’s recovery from autism”. You didn’t save him from autism. You can’t cure autism. You don’t recover from it. To her credit, in the blog she says that people are confusing “recover” with “cure” but that’s not true. Recover means 1. To get back; regain. 2. To restore (oneself) to a normal state. That is the very definition. You can’t go changing the meaning of words McCarthy!

How did she “recover” her son? She says, “We believe what helped Evan recover was starting a gluten-free, casein-free diet, vitamin supplementation, detox of metals, and anti-fungals for yeast overgrowth that plagued his intestines.” OH! It’s all diet? Autism can be “recovered from” by a healthy diet? Thank goodness you exists Jenny McCarthy because decades of scientific studies didn’t deduce anything so meaningful!
Aside from spouting nutritional facts (BTW McCarthy is not a nutritionist and has no business giving advice regarding health and food), she also is very vocal against vaccines. McCarthy claims that it was the MMR vaccine that caused her son’s autism. Not the fact that she had her baby at 30 and autism is linked to older birth mothers. No, no it was the vaccines. For a while I bought it too. Vaccines are given in groups. I always thought they gave too many shots to babies at one time. There was even a study done by Dr. Andrew Wakefield that linked some vaccines to autism. But in 2011 Wakefield redacted his study and admitted he lied about the data. Does that stop McCarthy? Nope.

I understand that as a mother you never want to think you did anything to harm your child. You never want to think your child is different. But get your head out of your ass. This is science. It’s true whether you believe it or not. Diet, and vaccines have little to no impact on your child’s autism. But please, give her yet another TV show so she can go on the media press tour and continue spouting off this nonsense and endangering lives. McCarthy has blood on her hands and the next time she’s invited on a morning show maybe someone should ask her about it instead of laughing at her dick jokes.



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Hollywood Needs New Ideas

There is a huge trend in Hollywood*—remakes and sequels.  In 2013 alone there are eight sequels or remakes set to come out. One of those is The Secret Garden—this is the fifth time they will try to put The Secret Garden book on the screen. But the worst offender of all of these is “Oz The Great and Powerful”. The synopsis according to IMDB is as follows:

A small-time magician with questionable ethics arrives in a magical land where he must choose between becoming a good man or a great one.

Mila Kunis will play Theodora (aka The Wicked Witch of the West), Rachel Weisz will be Evanora (aka The Wicked Witch of the East), and Michelle Williams will be Glinda (aka The Good Witch). First of all Glinda the Good Witch has red hair not blonde, first strike in my book. Second, the wicked witches are ugly….and green! Mila Kunis and Rachel Weisz? Come on! Just stop it. Brace yourself for this—the Wizard is James Franco.

I understand that this is a prequel so this is a younger version of the wizard, but really? Franco? I know Hollywood likes attractive people but sometimes characters aren’t attractive. This is a classic book and film, these people are in our minds a certain way.  The wizard is a little green man behind a curtain. He hides behind a curtain to appear to be powerful. What’s powerful in today’s day and age? Being attractive and charming…what’s James Franco? Attractive and somewhat charming (when he’s not mouthing off) how does an attractive, successful Franco turn into a short, frustrated, wrinkled Frank Morgan?

The screen play is written by Mitchell Kapner and David Lindsay-Abaire. Mitchell Kapner’s writing credits are: Into the Blue 2: The Reef, Days of Wrath, The Whole Ten Yards, Romeo Must Die, and The Whole Nine Yards. David Lindsay-Abaire credits are: Rise of the Guardians, Rabbit Hole (based on his play: “Rabbit Hole”), Inkheart, and Robots. Oh, I should also say that David Lindsay-Abaire has just been announced to write the script for Poltergeist—because they’re remaking that too.

Two writers that have never had a hit, have fewer than six credits to their names, and they’re in charge of creating the backstory to one of the greatest pieces of children’s literature? Do you see the problem here? What do these two guys know about L. Frank Baum? Are they experts on him? Did they read his diary and know what he thought about the prior life of the wizard? No, they didn’t.

These two men are taking something that has a built in audience and they are trying to capitalize on it. That’s a lot easier than coming up with your own ideas and starting to build a following from scratch based on talent like say, oh I don’t know L. Frank Baum did.

I’m sure this movie will make money; I’m sure there will be yet another story to it—hell I bet they redo The Wizard of Oz and cast Elle Fanning as a blonde Dorothy. Where have all the original ideas gone? Stealing someone else’s work and making it awful does not make you a genius that brings it to a new generation it makes you a jerk that’s too lazy to create something new.

 

*Hollywood is to include television as well. Be sure to tune into NBC when they premier their new Dracula show! Dracula is played by an Irish actor but Dracula comes from America…but has to move to London. Why? You ask? Well, Dracula is trying to make money by bringing electricity to the masses and Edison ran him out of America…duh…just like Bram Stoker envisioned. Oh…and Renfield is his butler played by an African American actor not a crazy guy in an asylum that eats bugs, Mina is a medical student (that’s so common in the 1800s) and Van Helsing, you know the world’s most famous vampire hunter and Dracula’s arch enemy? Nah, in this TV series they’re BFF!



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Why Do You Hate Me, TV?

I watch TLC, I watch Sister Wives and every time there is a promo for any of their other series I cringe and curse myself for giving them ratings. I understood My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding for a season, but it got tough to watch seven-year-olds in miniskirts grinding at a sixteen-year-olds wedding reception. Then came Toddlers and Tiaras, Honey Boo Boo (no, I have never seen that show and I never will) now there’s some underage gymnastics show and I am convinced you need an Amber Alert on your resume to get hired at TLC. That is a pedophile’s dream station. They don’t have hunt anymore they just have to tune in. I didn’t think anyone could beat TLC but Oxygen has managed to do so with their latest show meet My Baby’s Mama’s.

According to the press release:

This bold new series shows every second of the drama-filled lives surrounding a unique “modern” family unit, as they navigate their financially and emotionally connected lives. As the household grows, sometimes so does the dysfunction, leaving the man of the house to split his affection multiple ways while trying to create order. With humor and heart, this dynamically linked family must find a way to all get along… but sharing your man with several opinionated women is bound to create issues. Will there be a conflict over a family holiday, who needs school supplies and who holds the household finance purse strings, or can these feisty babies’ mamas band together and live peacefully as one family unit?

You may ask me what is the difference between this show and Sister Wives? Well, these are “baby mama’s” not wives. He is not committed to any of these TEN women because he wants to be. He is committed to TEN different women because he couldn’t wrap his penis or find a girl that was on birth control.  He apparently is a rapper, but I’ve never heard of him so I don’t think he’s got enough in the royalty fund to take care of these women. Not to mention he’s not living with any of them, he’s living with his nineteen-year-old girlfriend. Did I mention his oldest is eighteen? He’s not doing this because he feels a religious calling he’s doing this because he’s an ego with impulse control issues not a man.

This is disgusting and I am furious. I will not be watching so can one of you watch and report back?



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