Tony Scott directed one of my all time favorite films, True Romance. I think that it is a perfect movie and it has warped my sense of romantic love forever. I even have blue cowboy boots and sunglasses like the film’s star, Alabama. When I heard he passed away, I was pretty upset. I try to not get emotional over things that don’t directly involve me, but Tony Scott’s death got to me.

Two weeks after Tony Scott took his own life, I went and saw True Romance at the Hollywood Forever cemetery. It was my first time going to Cinespia (which is the film series that took place at the cemetery). I wore my boots and sunglasses and could barely contain my excitement. Before the movie started, Donna Scott spoke. She told stories of Tony, of the making of the film and read a quote from the film that someone had emailed her. They said it was the perfect description of Tony:

Amid the chaos of that day, when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots, and all I could smell was the violence in the air, I look back and am amazed that my thoughts were so clear and true, that three words went through my mind endlessly, repeating themselves like a broken record: you’re so cool, you’re so cool, you’re so cool. And sometimes Clarence asks me what I would have done if he had died, if that bullet had been two inches more to the left. To this, I always smile, as if I’m not going to satisfy him with a response. But I always do. I tell him of how I would want to die, but that the anguish and the want of death would fade like the stars at dawn.

She kept an even voice until that last line—at “I tell him of how I would want to die, but that the anguish and the want of death would fade like the stars at dawn” , her voice broke and so did my heart.

After the movie, Patricia Arquette spoke and I fan-girled out. The last thing she said was, “And Donna, if you’re still here, I remember being at a party and Tony came over to me. He pointed to you, you had all these people around you and he said, ‘Look at her, they’re like bees to honey… and I get to love her.” She cried through saying that.

When it was reported that Tony Scott had jumped off a bridge, taking his own life, rumors swirled. They said he had a brain tumor, they said no one saw it coming, they said there was no note, and then there were several. Recently, toxicology reports were released that found sleeping pills and anti-depressants in his system. These things shouldn’t be shocking. These things also shouldn’t be public knowledge.

I have personal experience with suicide; too much experience. It’s damaging in ways you can’t imagine until you’re in it. The point of this article is to remind people that Tony Scott, while an amazing director and well-known celebrity … was also a husband, a father, and a friend. He’s not a toxicology report; he’s not just a suicide statistic.

Let’s try to keep that in mind as we watch the next celebrity “train wreck”. Instead of watching and reading and wondering what caused their demise, maybe, just maybe, we can practice kindness, and maybe that kindness will spread, and someone will realize that in darkness there is light. Maybe that day they won’t go to the bridge, maybe that day no one will speak of memories of them, maybe no one’s voice will crack at the telling of a good time. Maybe things will change.

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