Sarah Palin’s Speech: The Constitution and Bendable Straws

Photo of a Palin 2010 Poster
Sarah Palin’s recent speech at CSU, Stanislaus has received a great deal of media attention, although not necessarily for reasons she might be thrilled about. A Turlock, California newspaper, though, is giving her some good press, and in the interest of fairness it seems like a good opportunity to address Palin’s sense of humor.

From The Turlock Journal:

After a brief introduction from University President Hamid Shirvani, who termed Palin a “great American,” she took the stage to chants of “Sarah” and a standing ovation.

“I’ve got my water, do I have my straws? I want my straws,” Palin said as she took the stage, acknowledging the leaked rough draft of her contract found by two CSU Stanislaus students amid shredded documents in a university Dumpster. That contract required the university to provide Palin with “bendable straws.”

You know, Palin has taken a lot of flak over the straw demand. To be fair, though, I think we all have particulars about how we drink. If I order a beer in a restaurant, for example, the frosted glass they bring out just sits on the table because I prefer my cervezas straight from the bottle. I also drink my soda out of an aluminum can, and I have to admit that for several years I insisted on using a straw. When I’d go to the store with friends and they’d run in to grab a drink, they’d say, “Coke in a can with a straw, right, Katie?” Damn straight. So yeah, if I was powerful enough to command a six figure speaking fee, I’d probably ask for straws. And Coke in a can. And beer in a bottle.

Palin continued in this humorous vein:

Palin said she was happy the foundation stuck with her through the controversy, though, because California has always been a special place to her. It’s Reagan country, she said.

Palin quickly delved into thanking the local community for hosting her with great hospitality. She said she appreciated meeting local farmers, who taught her a thing or two about pronunciation.

“I’ll never call an almond an almond again,” Palin joked

The speech wasn’t without a focus on issues though, particularly in the area of civics.

The remainder of Palin’s speech centered on the topic of civic education for America’s next generation, a problem she singled out as the biggest challenge facing the country.

“My biggest fear is that we’re not passing on what it means to be an American to the next generation,” Palin said.

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Sarah Palin Shakes up CSU, Stanislaus: Syllabus Includes Dumpster Diving, Violation of Public Disclosure Laws, and Slamming of Barack Obama

Photo of CSU Students Protesting Palin's Speech
Sarah Palin has brought her brand of crazy to the California State University, Stanislaus. Her visit and speech, organized by a nonprofit foundation and intended to raise money for the ailing CSU community, has created a great deal of controversy over what her speaking fee was … and why students went dumpster diving to get to the bottom of it. Now Jerry Brown’s involved, and it’s just getting ridiculous which, given the players, should come as no surprise.

From The AP:

The former Alaska governor’s headline address Friday night at the 50th anniversary celebration at California State University, Stanislaus has drawn criticism and scrutiny since it was first announced. It also attracted sizable donations for the public school.

Officials have refused to divulge the terms of her contract or her speaking fee, and some details only came to light after students fished part of what appeared to be Palin’s contract from a rubbish bin.
“Students who spent their valuable, precious time diving through dumpsters before this event in order to silence someone … what a wasted resource,” she told the crowd dining in the campus cafeteria.

“A suggestion for those Dumpster divers: Instead of trying to tell people to sit down and shut up … spend some time telling people like our president to finally stand up,” she said.

Oh, Sarah Palin. There’s such a thing as seizing a moment, and then there’s just coming off as looking desperate. She was clearly trying to carpe the fuck out of the diem with her attempt to twist the dumpster divers’ actions into a call to action for Barack Obama. However, since telling people to “sit down and shut up” does not in any way, shape, or form make a logical link to telling Obama to “finally stand up,” Palin just looks as laughable as ever.

It wouldn’t look half as silly if the students sorting through garbage didn’t find something—namely “perks such as first-class airfare for two and deluxe hotel accommodations,” which is what brought the state’s Attorney General (and gubernatorial candidate) Jerry Brown into the picture.

[This information] prompted California Attorney General Jerry Brown to launch an investigation into the finances of the university’s foundation arm and allegations that the nonprofit violated public disclosure laws.
“Jerry Brown and friends, come on. This is California,” Palin retorted. “Do you not have anything else to do?”

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