Boys are Yucky


Boys are gross. That’s a fact. They do gross things, and find gross things awesome. They can go four days without a shower and not notice. It’s gross. To further prove my point Reddit conducted a “what do you do” type poll and these are some of the results, none of which are shocking.

This is what men admit to doing on the toilet and my response to it:

“Pretend stream of piss is a power washer for removing the hard to get stains from the toilet.”- Why are there stains? Clean your toilet with real cleaning supplies or buy those blue things that hide them!

“Like most people, I pee in the shower. Unlike most people, I hold my penis upwards when I do it sometimes. It makes a really cool fountain.”- That is not “like most people”. You stand in urine. Then you spray urine up towards your face. Gross. So freaking gross.

“Tried to spit directly into your stream while pissing.”- WHY?!!?

“Flush mid piss and race the toilet.”- This I understand.

“I am quite confident that all men with a bathroom scale weigh themselves before and after they poop to see how much it weighed.”- So simple…men are so simple.

“When taking a piss make a circle with your fingers around the stream and try to make sure you don’t get on your hand.”- But you do get it on your hands…the pee sprays on your hands, disgusting.

“Take an epic dump so intense that you had to remove your shirt because it got so hot.”- It should not be such hard work…change your diet.

“Saw a turd in half with super-power piss-stream.” I can’t. I can’t even…how do you not gag? You know what…no…just…no.

This is what men admit to doing with their balls and my commentary:

“When your balls get stuck to your thighs in a public place, you open your legs as wide as possible without looking like a freak and let the balls slowly unstick. Best feeling.” “After you took a piss and a lil ballsack meat is stuck between your boxers and you just lift your leg like a dog who’s about to pee.” “Do a little leg kick mid walk in an attempt to unstick your balls from your leg.”- Three different ways unsticking your balls is amazing. You simple lovely creatures.

“Sit there and watch your ball sack move in and out by itself like some weird alien being. I can sit there and stare at it fluctuate for …

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Spike TV Lists “7 Cutest Feminists”

Picture of Spike Logo
So Spike has complied a list of their interpretation of the seven cutest feminists, and I’m not sure whether to be offended or amused. I mean, this is of course the channel best known for all manner of wrestling (which, like NASCAR, is somehow considered a sport … kind of) and CSI reruns.

That said, though, I do find their choices kind of interesting. And funny. And a little bit insulting.

Anyway, from Spike, “The Top Seven Cutest Feminists”:

#7: Jennifer Baumgardner

Like most bi-sexual writers from Fargo, North Dakota, Jennifer Baumgardner has had a storied literary career focused on political equity, feminist rights, and a long-term sexual relationship with a founding member of The Indigo Girls.

Yup, the author of works such as Young Women, Feminism and the Future and Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics should definitely be known for bedding an Indigo Girl. And being cute. That’s huge.

#6: Kat Banyard

Author of The Equality Illusion and director of UK Feminista, Banyard has spent the majority of her professional life furthering the feminist cause and ensuring that women throughout England enjoy the same rights as their mildly effeminate male counterparts. (Which, judging by their national soccer team, includes the procurement of disease-free prostitutes and struggling to stay competitive in World Cup matches with Germany.)

Ouch, Spike, just … ouch.

#5: Kirsten Gillibrand (although Spike misidentifies her as “Kristen” Gillibrand)

The former Asian studies major and current New York senator is a self-described feminist who has worked tirelessly to occasionally fight for women’s rights in various political forums. During an interview with Womensrights.change.org, the former sorority girl turned tobacco defender claimed that “we’ve reached a point where women really can get elected at the highest levels of government all over the country” and “I have no doubt that we will see more women in elected office in the coming years.” (She also listed “bad breath” and “male flight attendants” as her turn-offs later in the article.)

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