Why Are We Obsessed With The Female Sex?

Well, it’s been a while. Lately, I’ve been watching the Showtime series “Masters of Sex” in which they follow the lives of William Masters and Virginia Johnson. Masters and Johnson wrote the book on sex. No, really, they did.

But the interesting part is in the show, Masters’ wife, Libby, is a pretty blonde ‘Madonna’ character. They sleep in separate beds, they don’t talk about his sex study, she tries to masturbate in front of him to arouse him and he stops her saying, “I love you too much”. So, he loves her too much to see her as a sexual being but he fantasizes about Johnson who is a sexually progressive woman.

Johnson is a dark haired (cause blonde is good and dark is dirty) woman who is all about telling a man what she wants, casual, easy sex, and she doesn’t blush when she says “penis”. Masters dreams of her but married Libby. It’s the Madonna/Whore played out. Why is a woman’s sexuality such a big deal? Why does it matter if you’re a prude or a slut or somewhere in-between? Women put such a heavy emphasis on this…because men do.

It dates all the way back to biblical times. A woman couldn’t be “ruined”. I’d been dancing around this Madonna/Whore thing since watching this show but haven’t had time to rant about it. It was kicked into overdrive when I read about a Saudi Arabian preacher who raped and tortured his 5-year-old daughter to death and was sentence to 500 lashings, paying some blood money to the mother and 8 years in prison.

He said he did it because he “doubted her virginity”. He doubted a 5 year old’s virginity. Now, I know this is Islam and you could make the argument that women are treated like dirt in Islam…but this isn’t a one-time occurrence. Women are often raped because they’re whores and they probably wanted it. Or because they drank, or wore a short skirt, because our “purity” is called into question so men can do as they please. Women do it to each other. She’s a whore she doesn’t have feelings. Or she’s too pretty to be nice. She’s more comfortable with men…she must’ve slept with all of them. Who cares? Why are we so interested in what women do in their bedrooms?

Sexuality is no one’s business. It’s not a toy for someone to play with. It’s not a measurement for someone’s worth, it’s not even part of someone’s personality. What I do in my bedroom has nothing to do with what I do outside of it. What is this obsession we have with female sex?

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Abercrombie Is Against Large People, Which We Already Know

Abercrombie and Fitch doesn’t carry the sixes XL and XXL in their clothing store. They do carry those sizes in men’s clothing so that buff male athletes will also wear the brand.

Large people do not appeal to A&F’s marketing scheme. The CEO has made multiple public statements on the topic, including “It’s almost everything. That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores. Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that.”

We know. We noticed that all of the preppy, popular kids in high school had wardrobes full of Abercrombie and Fitch apparel.

This marketing scheme makes logical sense. The popular teens see other beautiful teens wearing the brand and want to fit in. They see the advertisements full of impossibly beautiful people. Every year, the company comes out with a catalogue that has to be purchased from the store, chock full of pictures of naked, stereotypically attractive, predominately white people. Only people who deem themselves in the league of the attractiveness of the models should be wearing the clothes, as far as the brand is concerned.

Those less “attractive” may aspire to be one of the popular kids. They also shell out the money and don the clothing, on the off chance that this will make them as attactive and as cool as those they wish they were friends with.

Finally, there are those with larger body types who simply will not be able to fit into the clothing brand. This makes CEO Mike Jeffries very happy. Without his clothes being unobtainable by the truly “unattractive”, then his clothes would not be as cool. The core customers are to be stereotypically hot, youthful people.

For all of these reasons, the brand is able to overprice clothing that is marketed to teens. Teenagers are generally not able to pay the same clothing prices that adults do. Instead, they shop at cheaper outlets like Forever 21 and H&M. With this cool-ness branding, teenagers are willing to pay whatever it takes to make it. Massive amounts of buyers fly from Asian countries to large A&F stores in order to fulfill their client’s wishes and provide this elusive, cool clothing.

Not to mention that aspiring to these ideals can create eating disorders.

Legally, the brand must hire sales people as “models”. This way, they must be attractive and cool, personifying everything that Mike Jeffries wants. Potentially less attractive employees work in the back of the store, in the stock room.

I think that is a brilliant marketing scheme. I also think that it is disgusting.

Another CEO quote for your viewing pleasure:

“In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids. Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either.”

Ugh. Makes sense, but no thank you. If purposeful discrimination is what it takes to be cool, then you get what you pay for.

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Abstinence Only? Screw that!

Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped when she was fourteen and held for nine months. Now, she’s an activist and an ABC News contributor. I have a few issues with Elizabeth Smart, namely that she really capitalized on her trauma. Immediately there was an interview, a movie, and a book all with her help and participation. Pretty sure she’s the only trauma victim that did that in under a month. Also, the part of her story in which she said she was out with her captors, went up to someone and said, “I’m Elizabeth Smart” and when they just kind of shrugged, not recognizing her name she went back to her rapists.
However, I’ll give credit where credit is due and Smart is speaking on behalf of victims and “abstinence only” education. She was at Johns Hopkins discussing human trafficking and sexual violence and said:

“she “felt so dirty and so filthy” after she was raped by her captor, and she understands why someone wouldn’t run “because of that alone.”
Smart spoke at a Johns Hopkins human trafficking forum, saying she was raised in a religious household and recalled a school teacher who spoke once about abstinence and compared sex to chewing gum.
“I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh, I’m that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.’ And that’s how easy it is to feel like you no longer have worth, you no longer have value,” Smart said. “Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value.”

Psychologists and sexual abuse counselors have all said that a comprehensive sex education can help prevent sex crimes. I don’t understand why in 2013 we are still teaching “just say no” when it comes to sex. Teach kids to be responsible about their bodies. Give them the tools they need. Right now we’re sending them into the woods at night without a flashlight and saying, “don’t trip or get hurt!” GIVE THEM A GOD DAMN FLASHLIGHT!
It’s backwards thinking and it makes sex dirty and our bodies bad. It causes shame, body issues, secrets, and self-destructive behavior. I would for once like someone to do something that would actually benefit the education of our children. But no, they won’t. They’ll keep banning Anne Frank, Red Riding Hood, and teaching us how to multiply fractions (I have NEVER needed to know how to do that in my life and excuse me that’s what a calculator and Google is for) but they will not teach anything that has any type of practical use.

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Slut-shaming Versus Owning Your Sexuality

Considering the sexuality of women, there are a myriad of terms that ring negatively. From whore, slut, skank and the like to prude and frigid, a woman’s level of sexuality is up for debate.

There really is no comparison to words like these for men. The closest I can come up with would be “man-whore” (which hosts a positive connotation for many men) or something that refers to a man being impotent. Life hosts a myriad of double standards, none of which that we can seemingly avoid.

This is all common knowledge.

What needs to happen now is a cultural change of perspective. America has seen it’s share of changes in public opinion. Why not give the sluts a second chance, with an adoption of non-judgement? Take it from Jenna Marbles: being a slut is a choice. What is also a choice: letting other consenting adults make their own decisions without fear of judgement.

Being open minded doesn’t prevent you from having your own opinions. The difference is an opportunity for change. Choices that you make are not forced upon others. Their choices also may not be for your palette. Even allowing others to make (what you view as) mistakes does not translate to your condoning of their actions.

Europe has a much more successful rate of condom usage than America. In this nation, we host a general feeling of disgust about sex. We allude to it, we joke about it, and we stream more porn than the Vatican. What is lacking are honest discussions concerning sexuality from a young age. Being educated makes individuals feel more secure, knowledgable, and confident in whatever decisions they may deign to make.

Everyone has a vice or two. Pick yours. Don’t hurt yourself or others. If it calls for it, condom up.

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