Abstinence Only? Screw that!



Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped when she was fourteen and held for nine months. Now, she’s an activist and an ABC News contributor. I have a few issues with Elizabeth Smart, namely that she really capitalized on her trauma. Immediately there was an interview, a movie, and a book all with her help and participation. Pretty sure she’s the only trauma victim that did that in under a month. Also, the part of her story in which she said she was out with her captors, went up to someone and said, “I’m Elizabeth Smart” and when they just kind of shrugged, not recognizing her name she went back to her rapists.
However, I’ll give credit where credit is due and Smart is speaking on behalf of victims and “abstinence only” education. She was at Johns Hopkins discussing human trafficking and sexual violence and said:

“she “felt so dirty and so filthy” after she was raped by her captor, and she understands why someone wouldn’t run “because of that alone.”
Smart spoke at a Johns Hopkins human trafficking forum, saying she was raised in a religious household and recalled a school teacher who spoke once about abstinence and compared sex to chewing gum.
“I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh, I’m that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.’ And that’s how easy it is to feel like you no longer have worth, you no longer have value,” Smart said. “Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value.”

Psychologists and sexual abuse counselors have all said that a comprehensive sex education can help prevent sex crimes. I don’t understand why in 2013 we are still teaching “just say no” when it comes to sex. Teach kids to be responsible about their bodies. Give them the tools they need. Right now we’re sending them into the woods at night without a flashlight and saying, “don’t trip or get hurt!” GIVE THEM A GOD DAMN FLASHLIGHT!
It’s backwards thinking and it makes sex dirty and our bodies bad. It causes shame, body issues, secrets, and self-destructive behavior. I would for once like someone to do something that would actually benefit the education of our children. But no, they won’t. They’ll keep banning Anne Frank, Red Riding Hood, and teaching us how to multiply fractions (I have NEVER needed to know how to do that in my life and excuse me that’s what a calculator and Google is for) but they will not teach anything that has any type of practical use.



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Writing Female Characters

Katniss Everdeen and Clary Fray, two strong female protagonists in Young Adult fiction who are written with depth. They can be identifiably strong characters without losing their female identity.

I am a writer. And I don’t just mean that I write for Zelda Lily. I do (and I love it), but I have also been writing, for fun, since I was in seventh grade (I’m not published yet because I’m a perfectionist who is afraid of rejection and/or I am like that Jimmy Neutron villain who was voiced by Tim Curry who was a brilliant inventor but was never able to actually finish anything that he wrote). Honestly, writing science fiction or fantasy is, for me, basically the exact same process as playing with action figures or LEGOS was when I was in elementary school. You had to plan the characters and the storyline and the setting (I had this “grand unified concept” that made all of my LEGOS fit into the same setting) and, honestly, the tactile part in which my friends and I acted out the story was almost secondary.

So, I end up reading a lot of stuff about advice for writers. Some of it is terrible advice (anything from that wretched Hemingway*), other things are pieces of advice that are great for people who are not me (“write out in public” is rarely good advice for getting actual work done, and it would be even worse for an introvert with an anxiety disorder). But, a lot of the time, I run across specific advice on “how to write female characters.”

And we do live in a world in which male protagonists are so commonplace that you never find a female author being advised that “Oh, men don’t think that way.” At the risk of sounding sexist, it seems that women know how to write male protagonists a lot better than some men know how to write female protagonists.

This is a problem, and not just for writers. Young Adult (and adult) fiction is filled with male and female protagonists who serve as more than just an escape for young people—they are role models and fictional friends. Fictional characters experience their own worlds for the reader and are valuable teachers. It’s important that people get things right. For example, I might make certain that my child is well-insulated before exposing him or her to the misogyny and homophobia in, say, Stranger In A Strange Land.

The most basic source of confusion for male writers with female protagonists might be anatomical. That is probably the most understandable. And also a problem for me (my exposure to naked women is strictly at parties—I have to ask a female friend whether or not a specific action scene would go as I wrote it or if they would be flashing their attackers in the process). Sometimes, I have to ask a female friend how a particular garment or fabric feels, just to that I can write how my female character feels. Details of anatomy, wardrobe, and hygiene are completely understandably outside of the scope of the average male’s knowledge (and especially outside of the range of a gay man’s knowledge. Manscaping is not the same thing as shaving, though honestly I’ve never written anything that featured a character doing either).

But I think that it is less excusable but possibly more widespread (particularly in fanfiction) for female characters to be written in either traditional, misogynistic roles (such as “ideal sexual partner for the male protagonist”) or “written exactly like a male character.”

What does that last thing mean? It means that, for some writers, to take a female character outside of the realm of the “maiden in distress” or “femme fatale” archetypes, they need to make her into a tomboy. I’m all for making female characters tough-as-nails badasses, but they don’t need to belch publicly or start tavern brawls to be strong characters. (You can have a character like that—don’t get me wrong. But a strong female character does not have to be like that, even if she is a traveling warrior or an undercover space-warden or whatever you like)

I find “writer tips” that give this advice (in one form or another) all of the time. But, after agreeing with them, my next thought is: “Wait . . . please don’t write your guys like this, either.” Because male characters do not have to be dirty, rude, short-tempered louts to be badass protagonists. And they don’t have to be gay or sinister to be concerned about their own appearances. Antiquated masculine ideals certainly have their place in literature (you can have a maiden in distress if you want to), but don’t reduce characters of either sex to roles that have no place in the Twenty-First Century. There is something to be said for playing around with stereotypes and surprising people. Thinking of having a dirty, temperamental, barbarian warrior male character? It might add some depth to his character, and be a pleasant surprise for many readers, if he happened to be gay. Not all female characters are sweetness and light or tempting, scheming harlots. Play with expectations and you’ll have a more intriguing, more memorable book, filled with characters who better embody the diversity that is integral to the human experience.

Even if the characters themselves are, like, cat-people or robots.

 

*I tried to figure out what I was going to say about Hemingway and I thought of something that perfectly summarizes my opinion of him, but, to quote Auntie Em: “And now . . . being a Christian woman, I can’t say it!”



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Lea T: Icon


Lea T is an Italian and Brazilian model and she is smoking hot. This girl has cheekbones for days! Her hair is has that beachy wave look, but you want to run your fingers through it…soft beachy waves…how the heck do they do that? Killer figure…amazing legs…basically I’m jealous of Lea T—but not just for her looks.

Recently, Lea T appeared in Benetton’s “Faces of Color” video campaign. The campaign focuses on unique looks and personalities around the world.  In the video Lea T says, “I say everything about myself; it’s too complicated to keep a secret. When you get inspired by someone … you lose a little bit of your personality … I try to be myself.”

How amazing is that? Just that sentence alone…come on you’re gonna look like that and be a rad person? Stop it. I can’t handle it. I could go on and on about how awesome this model is just based on those two sentences, but it was something she did in 2010 that makes those words so much more powerful.

In 2010 Lea T announced that she was transgendered. She went from male to female and became a successful model. I know someone who identifies strongly with Lea T and I’ve been through the struggles with them. I’ve seen first-hand what it takes to live this kind of life. It’s not easy. I love that Lea T is such a strong icon for this and that she is speaking out explaining it the best way I’ve ever heard, ““I’ve never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend … Even with surgery, I’ll never be a woman. And I will not be man. I’ll always be the middle… My father said I’ll always be his little black boy. That he’ll love me if I am man, woman or dog. My mother is very religious. She refuses, but says she will not leave me.”

There it is. In the middle, some people will accept it some won’t, some things you can do (like model) some things are more difficult (like dating), but if you get lucky you find those that love you for you and will refuse to leave you.



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Dirty Mind, Clean Company: Pussy Energy Drinks?

photo of pussy energy drink pictures, photos
Jonnie Shearer loves Pussy. I say that because Shearer has an energy drink company called … well, Pussy. See what he did there? He was clever and took a shocking name that can be punny and named his company after it. Sound familiar? Well this is Virgin territory. Get it?! Richard Branson did the same thing in 1970 but was a bit classier about it. Go figure.

Apparently, Shearer was in college deciding what to do with his life and was admiring Branson when he “came up” with the name. Came up with the name—not the company. Just had a brain child of “I’m gonna get a company and call it pussy cause who doesn’t love pussy?”. I take that as; he saw what Branson did and decided he was going to do it too—but did it much worse.

Shearer saw that energy drinks were a huge market but, “The existing drinks tasted awful, and I couldn’t pronounce half their ingredients. Since people were becoming more interested in healthy eating, I decided to come up with a natural energy drink.” So he decided to make Pussy something you can ingest that’s healthy. Basically, Shearer made Pussy good for you.

The next step was getting investors. Through a friend Shearer met Holly Branson, daughter of Richard Branson, and got her to like Pussy, then she got her brother to like Pussy and they invested in the company. Now Pussy is providing something yummy and natural that boosts spirits for several companies to sell and Shearer has an estimated net worth of 16 million dollars.

I guess you could say Shearer’s Pussy is revolutionizing what we put in our mouths! Advertising has been a bit of a problem for the company, for some reason cities don’t like having Pussy on billboards over their freeways. But if according to the companies tagline it’s not their problem. Pussy: “The drink’s pure, it’s your mind that’s the problem.”

Yeah….that’s it, it’s our minds that are the problem.



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