Hollywood’s Children: A Roll of the Dice

Movie Poster for "Dickie Roberts"

There’s a cliché that Hollywood’s child stars exist under a double-edged sword.  Having money and, yes, power at a very young age have been the downfall of many a beautiful, talented kid that happened to be in the right place at the right time (if you get what I’m saying here).

You’d have to be living under a rock to be unaware of the exploits of a Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears, whose well-publicized struggles with mental illness and addiction have become the butt of a lot of jokes.

But some of the more tragic stories are from stars we forget.

Take Jaimee Foxworth, for example, whose character of Judy Winslow was unceremoniously cut out of Family Matters without …

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Former Houston Police Chief Harold Hurtt tapped for a federal immigration job … and the widow of a man killed by an illegal immigrant is not happy.

Forget about The Bachelorette. There’s a very original approach to finding “the key” to a woman’s heart going on in NYC.

It’s not exactly rare to see women in the music industry … but where’s the longevity? Share your thoughts on this!

Is Barack Obama a “hen-pecked” husband? See what the infamously corrupt Blago has to say about it!

Parent focus groups given some voice in Boston schools. What would you tell the administration if you were invited to attend? How about if you weren’t invited?

A topless Helen Mirren has lots to say about sex and bold women like Madonna, Lady Gaga, Scarlett Johansson, and (?) Miley Cyrus.



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Helen Mirren Gets Naked, Talks Sexy Women, and We Love It!

photo of helen mirren at love ranch premiere

Teetering on 65-years old, Helen Mirren is still fiercely poised, sexy, and intriguing. In her latest film endeavor, Mirren plays a madam opposite Joe Pesci in the upcoming film Love Ranch, directed by her husband Taylor Hackford. Recently, the almost-senior citizen garnered attention for a series of brilliant photos by Juergen Teller that graced the pages of New York Magazine, some featuring Mirren nude in a bathtub (a really saucy one). Teller, fashion photographer and artist, conveyed Mirren’s attitude and daring. Accompanying the sexy spread, Mirren reveals that she is “thrilled young girls are claiming their sexuality for themselves.” She continues:

“I love bold women: Madonna and Scarlett Johansson—sexy and gorgeous, but not only that. And Miley Cyrus—fantastic! And Lady Gaga. I love the way she’s elevated pop to performance art, or dragged performance art down to pop, or maybe made a wonderful amalgam of the two.”

Yes. YES. YES! I most definitely share the Dame’s affinity for women who express themselves the way the want. We are all too familiar with the rebukes women stomach in the industry, pop-star, actress, artist, or otherwise. Sex symbols like Madonna, Scarlett, Gaga, and Miley are relentlessly chastised (despite being encouraged) for provocative behavior when a man who posed nude for Cosmopolitan was elected to the Senate for Christ’s sake.

Arguably, and on the opposite end of the spectrum, the seven year-old dance troupe that impressively gyrated to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” exposes the dark and creepy side of commodifying women’s sexuality.

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FHM’s 2009 Most Sensual Women Awards

18C1008ENaturally, the woman who claims all women despise her tops these charts, thus inflating her already overblown head even more.  Megan Fox is this year’s number one nominee for the oh-so-prestigious Most Sensual Women awards compiled by FHM and its illustrious readers.

FHM, a men’s magazine, has annually created these lists to make “regular” women feel lesser than average by placing uncommonly good-looking women on its covers and celebrating their “common” beauty.

Other women who sat atop the top ten were Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel, Madeline Zima, Adriana Lima, Elisha Cuthbert, Heidi Montag (wtfreally?), Anne Hathaway and Katy Perry.

Despite the fact that I feel these polls to be feminist-ly backwards and could also potentially create bad blood between the lovely ladies of the world (at least with regard to the sometimes competitive nature of their own self-images), I think, for the most part, FHM might have this top ten right for once, with the obvious exception of a couple.  Adriana Lima and Heidi Montag are those “couple.”

Why, you might ask?  Could it possibly be because I, myself, have a debilitating lack of self-esteem that encourages me to lash out at other, better looking women in my age group?  I’m going to have to go ahead and cry a big ‘no’ on that one.  I personally feel that a healthy dose of self-confidence can do wonders for even the most average looking woman.  I am fully aware that there are far more beautiful women than myself out there; I will not delude myself into thinking otherwise.  Regardless, the reason that I feel these two particular women should be eradicated from FHM’s list are due to one primary reason:  probable prosthetic “appendages” and possible plastic surgery.  Okay, well, that’s two, but they’re inter-related in my eyes, anyway.  I’m not one to judge, and to quote a proverb that I once heard and always had stick with me: “Remove the plank from your own eye before attempting to remove the speck from your neighbor’s (or something similar)” — but these two women positively paled in comparison with the other relatively-natural beauties that topped their Big Ten List of Unfairly Hot Ladies.

I think (hope?) men are coming to their senses (or at least our senses) and realizing that natural beauty is where it’s at.  I’ve always thought Anne Hathaway and Scarlett Johansson both to be obscenely gorgeous in a frankly old-fashioned way, and I’m glad that men of the world are starting to see beyond the fads of spray tans and silicone implants, of bleached-blonde hair and two-inch acrylic fingernails.

I will, however, completely negate everything that I previously stated by criticizing these same men by perpetuating the old, played out Ladder of Sexual Appeal and Comparison.  I think these lists are utterly degrading to women and allow women to be idolized for their physical appeal rather than their mental capacity or humanitarian efforts.

Men of FHM?  On a sheerly PR aspect of the selection of women that you chose for your little black book of hotties?  Two thumbs generally up.  On your continuation of the age-old “rank the hotness of the chicks” that we played in high school — epic fail and fail again.



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