The Brant Boys Suck

I read an article about the Brant Brothers on Gawker a while back and it still haunts me. Vanity Fair profiled these pretentious, spoiled little sh*ts in September of 2012, and God I wish they hadn’t. I could’ve lived my entire life never knowing these things exist.

The sons of mogul Peter Brant Sr. and supermodel Stephanie Seymour are—I’m convinced—devils. Peter is 18 and Harry is 15 and they say things like this (quoted from the New York Times interview they did earlier in the summer of 2012):

  • “I might be gay,” he now tells Sales. “I’m both, kind of, a little bit….” “I do both, and, you know, I’m cool with everything. I don’t like to be defined. I personally don’t think that you can be. I’m undefinable.”
  • “From now on when people ask me what I ‘do’ I’m just gonna say icon,” 15-year-old Harry wrote recently on the boys’ joint Twitter feed.
  • Speaking about Suri Cruise: “And it’s all coming from her,” Harry remarks. “She’s always got some ‘do. I love her hair.” “Clearly she’s just an awesome person,” Peter agrees. “And she always has some, like, sassy frog slippers.” Harry continues, “And, like, jammies in the restaurant.” Or as Peter remembers, “Didn’t she have some ladybug boots? I was like, I need those.”

Kill me. Kill me now. This is horrible. Why? Why do I give a crap about these douchebags? I don’t, but I know about them and since I don’t like to suffer alone now you know about them. I really can’t figure out why this country is so obsessed with celebrity. They’re just people with more money and a better life than you. Are we so masochistic in this country that we have to rub our own noses in thing we don’t have? I don’t know anymore…now if you’ll excuse me I have to go prowl the Richkidsofinstagram tumblr and cry while I count 34 Dom Perignon bottles floating in an indoor pool. That’s a year’s rent.

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It’s comforting to think that polygamy and the cruel, inhumane treatment of women in the name of God is something that only happens in hardline Muslim countries where female children are married off, often for a high price paid to their fathers, to rich sexual deviants who collect them like playthings for harems.

Yeah, it happens here in the good old United States, too.

The silver lining here, of course, is that sometimes the bad guy gets caught, as in the recent sentencing of Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints head Warren Jeffs to life in prison.

Jeffs, who evidently fathered a fifteen-year-old girl’s baby and stood accused of sexually assaulting seemingly countless young girls, argued that he was being persecuted for his religious beliefs.

Hmm, yes, because pedophilia is evidently church-sanctioned in his warped mind (I thought that was just a Vatican thing …).

From Fox News:

The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, a radical offshoot of mainstream Mormonism that believes polygamy brings exaltation in heaven, has more than 10,000 followers who …

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There’s a constant message in society today to eat healthy.  You get the message everywhere, it seems, from slams of McDonald’s to suggested ways of incorporating healthy eating into your diet.

But is there a socioeconomic disconnect between the possibility of eating “good foods” as recommended by new nutritional guidelines and the ability to do so?


From Fox News:

An update of what used to be known as a food pyramid in 2010 had called on Americans to eat more foods containing potassium, dietary fiber, vitamin D and calcium. But if they did that, the journal Health Affairs said, they would add hundreds more dollars to their annual grocery …

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So a recent YouTube craze involves “Advice From a Cartoon Princess,” which takes themes from “princess” films and plays them up in a way that makes the movies themselves—and the heroines portrayed therein—utterly ridiculous.

A few months ago, we ran a piece on the arguably misogynistic message sent by Disney princesses, which are not exactly empowering to women. Through the wonders of YouTube, this is being brought to the next level.

I should probably start out here by saying that Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie. First, Belle has brown hair, not the more traditional blonde or raven locks usually idealized by the stereotypical damsel in distress. Also, she’s a bookworm—totally love Belle.

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