Everyone Needs To Be A Feminist


I asked my friend if she would consider herself a feminist and she said “no”. When I asked “why not” she said “I only want power in my home, and I like when my husband holds the door for me”. There is some strange…thing…that hangs over feminism. It’s this dark cloud that says, “if you say you’re a feminist that means you’re a man hater and don’t like kindness.”
I don’t know why this started…I’m pretty sure it’s a slur campaign by the patriarchy (look I’m man bashing—I must be a feminist). But really, I do think it’s a direct reflection of how men responded to women saying “I want to be treated equally”. They stopped being nice and called it equality. Now, I don’t know about you—but I’ve seen dudes hold doors for other dudes. I’m pretty sure that means you could be a God damn gentleman and hold the door for a lady. Just because I’m equal doesn’t mean I’m not a lady. I’m still a chick; I still get all emotional and swoony when boys do something nice.
The point is, you can be a woman—you can be uber feminine and still be a feminist. I want to hammer this home because it is so important to be a feminist. Men should be feminists too. All of human kind should be able to stand together as equals. And being equal shouldn’t mean there isn’t kindness—it should mean that we are kind—not for any ulterior motive (like getting into some panties) but because that is how human beings should act toward each other by default. That should be our default setting.

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Kate’s Pregnant … Who Cares?

photo of kate middleton pictures
Since Kate Middleton and Prince William got married, there have been baby rumors. Finally, the rumors are true and Kate really is knocked up. We know she is knocked up because she had to go to the hospital with morning sickness—that means this baby is already a royal pain in the ass. It also means we have nine months of watching this pregnant chick and all that comes with that. Is it a boy? A girl? What will the name be? What does this mean for Prince Harry? This will go on for nine freaking months. We don’t know the sex and probably won’t until the little jam-handed brat comes out, and that goes for the name as well. What it means for Harry is … well … nothing. He’s always known he’d never be King that’s why he gets naked in Vegas and dresses like a Nazi.

I’m sure it’s a big deal in England for the Royal Family to be having a baby …although I’m a little confused as to what the royal family does other than look cool. But why do I have to hear about it in the States? Why was it front page news when Kate Middleton got bangs? They weren’t even bangs, they were side-swept and I didn’t even notice, not to mention the photo they used was her being windblown and you couldn’t even see them so I had to search. Why does this matter?! Why was I looking for these photos? Why is her hair and baby making abilities on my news report? Why isn’t the fact that we’re second in the world for childhood poverty and seventeenth for education the top story? I think that matters a lot more than some kid I’m never going to meet that will never impact my life or Government. Can we all get a little more perspective people? Maybe I’m wrong, maybe this matters. Maybe I’m missing the point. I would love to hear from anyone who actually cares about this baby and why you care. Do me a favor, leave it in the comments and educated me on this because honestly I feel left out.

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Question: Can you love two people at the same time?

photo of Chris Rihanna and Karreuche pictures
There’s a quote that I really love, “If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.” That’s a great quote by Johnny Depp, not the world’s best source on relationships, but still a really poignant quote.

I bring this up because Chris Brown taped himself (then released the drunken tape of himself, classy) saying he loves both Rihanna and his now-ex, Karreuche Tran, and then wondered if it’s possible to love two people at once. Firstly, I don’t think Chris Brown is capable of love, so the fact that he is the reason I’m writing this sucks. But let’s look at the bigger issue: seriously – can you love two people at the same time?

I’m not going to pretend I know the answer, but I have a theory. The theory is, “no”. You can have feelings, you can have an attraction, you can have a desire, for someone else but I don’t think it’s possible to love two people the same way and really that is the question he poses. I think you can love multiple people; I love at least five people in different ways and none of them as much as I love my dogs.

I do not think you can love two people in a romantic fashion at the same time. You have to love one more than the other. I’ve been on both sides of this issue. I’ve been so in love with someone that no one else existed, and I’ve loved someone and known that there was so much better out there. Feelings change and grow and fade and some people stay in your heart forever, but not equal. We are not equal when it comes to love. But maybe I’m wrong, tell me what you think–can you love two people, in a romantic way, at the same time?

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Modern Marriage: What’s The Rush?

photo of modern marriage pictures
There’s a new movie called ‘The Five Year Engagement,” a film about a couple that just can’t seem to set a date and get up the aisle, and it’s definitely a sign of the times: this is an increasing trend today. The average age for getting married has shifted to a much higher number than 20 years ago, and more people are choosing to forgo marriage altogether, and are, instead, opting for cohabitation.

Marriage is a big thing, and like many other big things (careers, living space) , there are many reasons not to rush into it. I currently am in a similar situation. I live with my fiancee, we have two dogs, a nice little house, and about two months ago he popped the question. After some discussion, we decided that we already live like a married couple, and we both wear rings so why would spent thousands of dollars on a wedding? My best friend is still paying off debt from her $35,000 dollar wedding (which is considerably cheap seeing how I live in LA and that’s what people pay for flowers), and don’t get me wrong – it was a beautiful wedding, but I could buy a car for that amount. I could buy a new wardrobe, more dogs, a king-sized bed with the best bedding known to man and have enough leftover dough to go grocery shopping with. For a years.

The point is, if I had $35,000 to go in debt with, I wouldn’t spend it on a piece of paper. I live with my fiancee, and we share finances. If he leaves, I don’t have to pay $20,000 on a lawyer to decide what alimony he gets, I just kick him out. So for us, it just seems a bit silly, and worse, some say it’s a trend of a modern world. Everything is so enticing and on-demand that people think everything is so fleeting. Now, couples are uber aware of a high divorce rate, and that in itself is perhaps deterring them from rushing up that aisle, or, on the flip side, getting that paper puts pressure on couples to be perfect. A piece of paper does not make a relationship.

The interesting part of this trend is the fact that people are still getting engaged. See, for me, it was really nice to get that ring. It was a tangible promise from him to me. When I looked down at those three black diamonds on my finger, I know that someone loves me and is willing to commit himself to me. Maybe one day we’ll get married, maybe not. Either way, our relationship works for us and really? That’s all that matters.

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