The Truth Behind the Hefner/Harris Wedding

photo of hugh hefner and crystal harris pictures
I grew up thinking Playboy was no big deal. My mother grew up in L.A. and was invited several times to spend movie nights at the mansion since her friend’s mother was a playmate. When “The Girls Next Door” came on E!, I loved every minute of it. Holly was by far my favorite. For some reason that show made Hugh Hefner’s lifestyle seem normal, almost tame. Yeah, there were three girls living with him that he called his “girlfriends,” but come on. Obviously Hugh Hefner is not really dating seven girls, or even three. I’m about to drop some knowledge on you people.

Hugh Hefner pays girls to live with him and be his “girlfriends.” Shocking, I know. If you watched Holly Madison’s E! True Hollywood Story you already had a glimpse of this. In that special, they discuss how Holly was lead girl and how Hef would want to have sex with Bridgette or Kendra but both girls felt strange about it and tried to avoid it. During Kendra’s E! True Hollywood Story it was revealed that she was dating Hank Baskett while living at the mansion as a “girlfriend.” It’s fake, people. It’s all fake. They get a salary, they have to abide by certain rules, and it is a business deal.

In 2011, Hugh Hefner, then 85, announced that he was engaged to Crystal Harris, then 25. When this happened I was appalled, not at the fact that an 85-year-old was going to marry a 25-year-old, but that he didn’t propose to Holly. I mean, she was there for love—we can all agree on that. That girl put in five years; they even tried fertility treatments together. Yeah, they did. Holly really wanted babies and so they tried IVF but unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) it didn’t take. That’s when Holly realized that she wasn’t going to get marriage or babies from Hef and moved on. But he didn’t even propose during the IVF treatment, and honestly, that’s kind of shitty, Hef. You don’t propose to the girl that is doing fertility treatments so that your old ass sperm can live in that bangin’ body, the one that’s been there for five years, but you propose to Crystal Harris after a year? Come on! Anyway, the wedding plans began and then Crystal called off the marriage the day before the nuptials. She was dubbed the “runaway bride.” That never would’ve happened with Holly, I’m just saying.

Now it’s 2012 and the wedding is back on. Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris are getting married; they even picked up their marriage license. I am so grossed out by this, and again not for the age reason. Back in November I was at a gathering and was talking to someone, we were talking about …

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Petraeus Scandal: The Four Star Screw Up

The scandal du jour is General Petraeus and his biographer which, unless you’ve been living under a rock, you probably already know about. The slow and skinny of it is Petraeus started an affair with his biographer, Paula Broadwell, who got jealous over Petraeus’ friend, Jill Kelley, and started a firestorm of shit.

This is like an episode of Dallas. Petraeus has known Jill Kelley for a really long time. They’re family friends and he helped her sister win a custody battle by writing a letter on her behalf, nothing out of the ordinary there, except it’s completely shady and sort of an abuse of power. Then Petraeus starts jogging with Paula Broadwell and suddenly she’s his biographer. She’s following him around like a dog in heat for her “story”. I say that in quotes because I’m pretty sure the book she wrote was just a perk of having an affair with the four star General.

Paula Broadwell gets wind that at some point, at some time, maybe Jill Kelley and Patreaus did some under the table stuff. No, literally the story is maybe they had some “sexy touching” under a table…but maybe not. Anyway, it’s enough to make Braodwell go “Fatal Attraction” on her and send a “threatening email”. Hey I get it, I’ve seen a girl giving my guy the eye a little too often and in my head I’m making her bite a curb but I don’t but it in writing to her I vaguely mention it on a blog. Petaeus is a cheater so why wouldn’t he cheat on Broadwell? That doesn’t excuse a grown-ass woman sending threatening emails to another grown-ass woman about the man she’s having an affair with. Affair’s are supposed to be quite…email is concrete evidence.

Kelley gets the email and gets all nervous, rightfully so she’s probably seen Fatal Attraction. She emails her other friend who happens to be an FBI agent. He sends Kelley topless photos of himself…I’m not really sure why maybe because while investigating he learned that Kelley had exchanged 20,000-30,000 emails of a sexual nature with General John Allen, who is the U.S/Nato Commander in Afghanistan and a picture is worth …

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