Farrah Abraham, Please Go Away.

There is no shortage of bad role models out there for women but I have to say I think the “women” of Teen Mom should be…well should be out of my daily news feed. I can’t believe we celebrate and pay teen mothers for horrible decisions. They should be cautionary tales not ratings!

The worst offender of this is Farrah Abraham, that’s her holding hands with James Deen. I don’t watch the show but a good friend does and from what I can gather of seeing Farrah in my daily news…she’s a wreck. I know she’s not a good mother, I know she spent her money on plastic surgery; I know she tried waxing her three-year-old’s eyebrows and the latest is she’s done porn.

I don’t give a rats butt about porn, if this woman wants to be a porn star that’s her business. I know plenty of people who work in that industry and not all of them are Jenna Jameson addicts with rage issues. Some are quite well balanced and good parents.

Anyway, Farrah does an X-rated film with the top porn star of the day: James Deen. I’ve written about Deen before and I’ve watched his films. Turns out he’s a super sweet guy, comes from a good family, and doesn’t get caught up in drama (see the wonderful Canyons expose in the NYTimes). So, Farrah does this porn and doesn’t want to talk about it unless you’re willing to buy it for two million dollars (my-my-my don’t we think highly of ourselves). But Deen doesn’t care so he tells TMZ that yeah, they made porn and she’s a sweet girl.

Like the class act she is Farrah pins it all on him saying, “I don’t have good things to say about him so I don’t think I should talk about it.” “He was being disrespectful to a woman and I think things have gone to his head and he wasn’t getting any attention. So he should get out of the public eye because he’s not a good person” (this was said because he called her out on making a porn for attention and let the cat out of the bag that they had sex on tape).  “He’s a user”. Oh…he’s a user? Riiiiight. “I just want my privacy back.” Which is why she made a sex tape… “I don’t need to talk negatively about someone because I don’t have anything nice to say. He should really get out of the porn industry because things have gone to his head, he does not respect women….his penis is small.” So, you don’t need to talk negatively—but you will and then you’ll say his has a small dick. You’re saying a porn star…the leading porn star in the industry—in your opinion has a small penis…gurl….go home.

When asked if she liked the tape she said “I personally hired people to do that, it’s like a wedding video. You expect your video to be good not bad”. WTF?!?!? She goes on to say how shocked she is that he was unprofessional by admitting they made a porn. At this point her mother jumps in saying that he, Deen, was trying to exploit and disgrace their whole family, this from the woman whose daughter is the star of two seasons of Teen Mom. She also doesn’t think Farrah knew they were making a video….even though her daughter just said she hired people to make a video.

These people…you know it’s a pretty sad day when the porn star is the classiest person in your triangle. To keep things classy Farrah posted this video of her showing how she uses a breathalyzer to start her car…classy.



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What the Hell is Wrong With the Duggars?

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar Announcing 20th Pregnancy

When I heard that Michelle Duggar is, in fact, pregnant with what will be her 20th child, my initial reaction was, “What the hell?”

I don’t suspect I’m in the minority.

The gist of the shock and concern seems to be based around the dangerously premature birth of the youngest Duggar, Josie, who was born at a shocking 1 pound, 6 ounces.  Michelle Duggar’s pregnancy with Josie was shortened by her diagnosis of preeclampsia, a condition identified when she was initially hospitalized for gallstones.

Josie spent four months in the hospital after her December 2010 birth, and had to return shortly after being released because of vital sign concerns.  She didn’t, for all intents and purposes, get to go home from the hospital until she was six months old.

The idea of a baby having to spend her first six months of life in the hospital is tragic, as is the notion that nineteen kids were almost certainly getting a degree of shafting from parents obviously concerned about ..

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Dan Savage To Get His Own MTV Show, Give Dr. Drew A Run For His Money

photo of dan savage pictures

Dan Savage is attached to an advice show to be aired on MTV that will hopefully be better than anything Dr. Drew has done. Known for his advice column Savage Love” in Seattle’s The Stranger, he’ll be touring college campuses and giving sex and relationship advice to its students, similar to the untelevised tour he just completed.

Savage has always been more than just an advice columnist; he’s an advice columnist with an agenda, and that’s what makes him so powerful. We’ve often turned to our advice columns for un-biased, third-party observations, for individuals who will tell us what we don’t want to hear but know is true. Savage tells us what we don’t even want to admit could be true, but desperately need to here. He is a …

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The Changing Definition of Narcissism

Painting "Narcissus" by Michelangelo Caravaggio
While the quality of education in America has sunk ever deeper into the toilet, there’s been a correlating impression by many recent graduates that they know everything.  I realize this is not a new phenomenon—God knows that I knew way more in 1994 than I do now—but what’s fascinating to me is the way that a lot of kids in this generation kick around fifty cent words that they have a very foggy definition of (very foggy), ultimately changing the essential meaning of the word through nuance and ignorance.

Narcissism is one of those words, and it’s coming up quite a bit in terms of self-obsessed reality television stars, with Snooki from Jersey Shore going so far as telling Barbara Walters, “I think I’m fascinating.”

And so Snooki, who I’ve only read about because I rarely watch television in general and never watch reality television because I know enough people in real life that are far more interesting than idiots who transform themselves into a Barbie caricature or whatever, has become sort of the narcissism spokesperson for the “Me Generation” … but interestingly, narcissism (or narcissistic personality disorder, if you want to be precise), is reportedly on the American Psychiatric Association’s chopping block for inclusion in the psych bible Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

So does this mean that the self-obsessed are going to have to face some hard facts here?

From NPR:

In most cases there’s a difference between a clinical narcissist and one you see on TV, psychologist Keith Campbell tells NPR’s Audie Cornish.

“The thing that makes it clinical is when you go to the extreme where it’s pervasive, where it affects all aspects of your life,” says Campbell, who heads the psychology department at the University of Georgia and co-authored a book, The Narcissism Epidemic.

If you’re a clinical narcissist, he says, there’s real pathology associated with it.

“You can’t help yourself but try to get attention or seek admiration,” Campbell says. “It interferes with your life. … [I]t distorts your decision-making. It destroys your relationships.”

I know some people (not a ton, fortunately, but enough) that really fit this definition.  Most of them have very little reason to think particularly highly of themselves, which makes me think that there’s got to be some sort of legitimacy to narcissism as a mental problem.  There’s one guy I know that I can totally picture sitting and staring proudly into his reflection in a pool of water like the mythological Narcissus even as his children are hungry and his bills go unpaid.  Scary.

However, according to Dr. Campbell, narcissism is pretty much just “a manifestation of normal personality.”  If the proposed changes to the 2013 edition of DSM go through, a psych patient would instead hear about where certain traits place them on a “continuum or spectrum” where they’ll then be told, “You have high levels of traits that are associated with narcissism.”

Is the terminology really changing anything?  Is telling someone that he’s been diagnosed with a “narcissistic personality disorder” any different than telling him that he has a lot of traits on the narcissistic continuum?  I get ridiculously aggravated by things like this, where the essential underlying bottom line doesn’t change, but people have to fuck around with the wording.  It happens all the time in the education field, and sometimes it just makes me want to scream.

Especially because, in the case of narcissism—continuum narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder—the treatment (generally therapy) wouldn’t change a bit.  What Campbell is hoping for here is that societal perception of narcissism will be what changes.

And while things won’t change much for those on the couch, he says, the way we talk about narcissism in culture might.

“When this happened I went and looked at Twitter just to see what people were saying about it,” Campbell says.  “The most common response was, ‘It must be so normal now, it’s no longer a disorder.’”

And the second-most?

“‘Gee, I guess I’m OK, then’,” Campbell says. ”People see there’s narcissism everywhere, and they’re just shocked … that they’re considering getting rid of it. It’s such a perfect term for so much of what we see in society.”

Um … is it just me, or does Campbell sound about as knowledgeable as Snooki?  In a way, narcissism is a valid term for what we see in society, not just celebrities but us common folk, too … and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist (or a psychologist) to realize it.  However, is it really fair to give somebody a clinical diagnosis when they are merely reacting to a lifetime of being spoiled and indulged?  This is a question that’s going to be coming up a lot …

How many people are guilty of updating their Facebook status every time they take a piss or something?  My most recent Facebook update reads, “Picking up a sick first grader” because my daughter was sent home sick from school yesterday.  Does anybody care that my kid has strep?  Well, I mean, of course people care, but is there any need for me to announce this to my 500+ Facebook friends (no, I’m not cool … I just went to a big high school)?  Is there a part of me that craves those nice little “Oh, I hope she feels better soon” comments?  Probably … and thinking about that actually bothers me a lot.

Ultimately, the definition of narcissism in this day and age has to change.  With the advent of social networking sites where a lot of people chronicle their daily lives, often in real time, there’s a level of narcissism that has pretty much permeated our culture.

Thoughts?



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