The Once And Future King Can Be Gay And That’s Fine


Parliament is likely to add an amendment to current legislation that will essentially allow for a simplification of questions of marriage and succession for William and Kate’s children (and grandchildren and further descendants), should any of them be gay. And we all know that that will happen—and not just because the Duchess of Cambridge totally looks like she’d have a gay son (sorry; I have Level Twelve Gaydar. It’s a blessing and a curse). There have been gay rulers before, and I don’t just mean speculation about British monarchs like Queen Elizabeth or King James (who produced, hands-down, the worst version of the Christian Bible that ever existed prior to the Twentieth Century). There have definitely been closeted men and women on the throne (any throne, really). And history has seen plenty of gay monarchs—particularly Roman Emperors.

Ancient Rome had a lot of problems, I know, but dang they were excellent in so many ways.

Anyway, this is a good thing. Members of the Royal family can marry members of the same sex and adopt (or do IVF) and their children will be in in line for the throne.

Now, it’s not a meaningful title—I know. The British monarch is the Head of State in Great Britain, but not the Head of Government. I’m all for constitutional monarchies, but if they have no actual power beyond bestowing knighthoods and orchestrating big events, I kind of think that monarchies are pretty silly. But, then, despite every name in my family being British or at least UK in origin (Harward, Lloyd, Wrenn, Yates), it’s not a part of my identity (my family’s been in the US for a couple of centuries at least). Who is king or queen can probably mean a lot more to citizens of the UK.

But I am still excited because lawmakers too often wait too long to update laws so that they make sense, but this legislation looks like it is set to pass. And that is wonderful. I would love to see a same-sex marriage in Britain’s royal line. More visibility for gay rights on a global scale is a good thing (especially with psychotic countries like Iran and Uganda still in existence).

 

PS: I know that the title to this post is awful, but it could have been worse. I mean, do you remember the Fairly Oddparents episode titled: “The Boy Who Would Be Queen?” I could have gone with something like that. That was a great episode, by the way. I was so amused when so many ridiculous people were accusing Spongebob Squarepants of being super gay, because, um, Fairly Oddparents was so much gayer. From Cupid (super gay) to Timmy’s Dad (who described Teen Singing Sensation Chip Skylark as “delicious”) to Timmy’s drama teacher to Jorgen Von Strangle’s relationship with Binky. Seriously, you guys. If only the sound effects on that show had not been so constant and if only everything had not gone downhill after Cosmo and Wanda had that baby.



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Kate’s Pregnant … Who Cares?

photo of kate middleton pictures
Since Kate Middleton and Prince William got married, there have been baby rumors. Finally, the rumors are true and Kate really is knocked up. We know she is knocked up because she had to go to the hospital with morning sickness—that means this baby is already a royal pain in the ass. It also means we have nine months of watching this pregnant chick and all that comes with that. Is it a boy? A girl? What will the name be? What does this mean for Prince Harry? This will go on for nine freaking months. We don’t know the sex and probably won’t until the little jam-handed brat comes out, and that goes for the name as well. What it means for Harry is … well … nothing. He’s always known he’d never be King that’s why he gets naked in Vegas and dresses like a Nazi.

I’m sure it’s a big deal in England for the Royal Family to be having a baby …although I’m a little confused as to what the royal family does other than look cool. But why do I have to hear about it in the States? Why was it front page news when Kate Middleton got bangs? They weren’t even bangs, they were side-swept and I didn’t even notice, not to mention the photo they used was her being windblown and you couldn’t even see them so I had to search. Why does this matter?! Why was I looking for these photos? Why is her hair and baby making abilities on my news report? Why isn’t the fact that we’re second in the world for childhood poverty and seventeenth for education the top story? I think that matters a lot more than some kid I’m never going to meet that will never impact my life or Government. Can we all get a little more perspective people? Maybe I’m wrong, maybe this matters. Maybe I’m missing the point. I would love to hear from anyone who actually cares about this baby and why you care. Do me a favor, leave it in the comments and educated me on this because honestly I feel left out.



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Pippa Middleton: Collateral Damage?

Photo of Pippa Middleton Dancing in Bra

I have two siblings … and, of course, the accompanying angst of growing up between an older brother that would do anything my mother asked him to do and a younger sister my parents considered to be perfect.  Both have had their moments in the sun, and sometimes the shadows they cast were quite long.

However, beyond pretty intense envy from my position as the family’s black sheep, the accolades loaded on my sibs didn’t really impact me.  If anything, it was my sister who suffered a bit of reverse discrimination when teachers who’d had me in class saw her name and rolled their eyes, assuming they had another Katie on their hands (my brother went to private school, so I set the tone for the family name).

Which leads me to Pippa Middleton, a young lady who wowed the world with her grace and class at her sister Kate’s recent wedding …

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Princess Kate, Cow?

Photo of Kate Middleton Laughing

And no, that isn’t a fat joke.

What’s got me a little worked up is that Kate Middleton, who graduated from college with honors and had fairly extensive career options in both the fashion industry and the field of photography, has basically been relegated to a breeder.

Yup, talk has turned from her wedding dress to her ovaries before she’s even been a wife for a week.

Fox News’s Dr. Manny Alvarez is just the latest to weigh in on a topic that seems to be on everyone’s mind. Already.

Looking at these two beautiful people, I have to recommend that they have a baby as soon as possible. Why? Well, beyond passing on those top-tier genes, the reality is that Kate is 29 and Will is 28, and this is the ideal time to have a baby – especially if they are planning on having more than one child.

While starting a family right away may seem like a daunting prospect for a newlywed couple – even a pair who has been dating for years, as Kate and Will have – here’s the medical lowdown on the matter:

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