It’s Not An Affair…It’s Love

The title of this piece is the worst excuse I’ve ever heard for being selfish. “It’s not an affair, we’re in love”, no you’re just unable to control your biological urges you’re no better than an animal, apologize for setting back our evolution. I

Saying this is just another way of saying “I’m sorry, but it’s not my fault”. That’s not a real apology…and neither is this nonsense that Rielle Hunter, ex-mistress of John Edwards, is touting as a public apology. Hunter wrote a piece for Huffington Post saying:

“I am very sorry for my wrong, selfish behavior. Back in 2006, I did not think about the scope of my actions, how my falling in love with John Edwards, and acting on that love, could hurt so many people. I hurt Elizabeth and her kids. I hurt her family. I hurt John’s family. I hurt people that knew Elizabeth. I hurt people who didn’t know Elizabeth but loved her from afar. I hurt people who gave their hard earned dollars to a campaign — a cause they believed in. I hurt people who are married and believe in marriage.”

So, it was love that she was acting on? Not lust? Not attraction? Not greed? Cause I’m pretty sure she made a pretty penny off of this affair. She wrote a book…and oh, by the way this apology came while promoting said book.

“I fell in love with John Edwards and wanted to be with him and that desire trumped everything else. And then instead of apologizing when I should have, I went on to hurt more people by writing a book,”

She forgot to add, “and continue to hurt her surviving friends and family by putting a death grip on my 15 minutes of fame. “One of my favorite quotes is this one:

“My publisher came up with the idea of me going through my book and annotating all of my regrets and mistakes,”

Maybe that’s because your book is selling for $1.77 on Amazon and they needed another PR scheme.

This woman is selfish and disgusting. I’m so sick of people who have affairs claiming it was “love” no it was your hormones and if 13-year-old kids are expected to control them than so should middle aged adults.

Take some responsibility for your actions.

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What Will Fit in the Feminism Box?

Over the years since the initial feminist movement in America, some change has been occurred for the better. Women have suffrage. Huzzah!

There is still a lot that needs to happen, and three waves later, this is rather frustrating. Social, cultural, political, and legal inequalities abound. Most of these issues are so mind-bogglingly frustrating because they are so common sense. While America is ahead of the curve on a few issues, the nation falls short on so many others.

Give me a political system that notices that all people are people. Men, women, gender ambiguous individuals, children, and those of any sexuality, race, abilities, age, and religion. We all have needs that should not be shirked, should not be denied, and should not be tossed out like day old bread. Lame simile, but you get the point.

With so many issues bouncing around, I do feel like some should be prioritized. You have to pick your battles in this war for humanity. Although the small victories are still appealing and give us hope, other victories change lives.

We pick and choose which fights we want. Who pays for dinner? Are tampons anti-feminist? Are bras? Do I take my husband’s last name? Really, why isn’t it normal yet for a man to take a woman’s last name? Should I be allowed to have an abortion when my life is on the line? Do legal ambiguities and discriminations determine my life’s outcome?

Some of these issues might matter to you. Here, we are Feminism in a Bra, and we have chosen our battles. Sometimes, smaller issues do matter. For the most part, we want the basic human rights that should be common sense. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave. When we aren’t free to make decisions for the benefit of our lives that don’t harm others, we must be brave and stand up for what we believe in. I find it a very American idea to be feminist.

People tend to seek out what they find important. This is why there is now a topless book club that meets in NYC’s Central Park. Being able to discuss literature whilst free-boobing may not be your battle of choice, but it can be the inclination of others. This made the cut for their feminism box. Go do you.

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In Case Any Of My Posts Have Taken An Odd Turn: About Me

I feel like people who are just getting to know me are probably surprised by some of my political views. I know that sometimes acquaintances and friends who read my Zelda Lily posts are taken aback as they suddenly go from agreeing to disagreeing with me (or from disagreeing to agreeing).

It happens, because not everyone’s political views fit into a tidy political box. And they can’t all be identified based upon demographic information about the person in question. Obviously.

Like, I’m a gay man, a feminist, part of a minority religion. I’m big on public education, environmental protections, civil rights (including for women and gay people! Even children! Surprise!).

I love plurality of beliefs and cultures. I’m against prohibition of most drugs–basically, unless you’re negatively impacting other people, what you do with your own body is your business.

But I also want one massive supergovernment.

Not to meddle in what people eat or what colors they paint their houses. But one government for all, with no states’ rights or national sovereignty. No more situations of one nation declaring war on a portion of its own population while the rest of the world watches and “hopes for the best.” No more taking a cruise with your spouse and being arrested at a port because gay sex is illegal in another country. No more having to drive somewhere else to preserve your reproductive autonomy.

I don’t want a government micromanaging your life . . . up until that government needs to protect other citizens from you. That includes your children, because they are people too. And if the government needs to find new parents for them to protect them from being homeschooled, or neglected, or being the victims of violence at your hands, then that is the government’s job.

I am horrified by abuse of power by anyone in authority, especially violence, but I am pro-police. I wish that drones were more accurate (I want collateral damage reduced to zero), but I support the use of drones. I absolutely support the use of monitoring drones domestically; drones are EXACTLY what I want in the air ten minutes after a child is reported missing.

And, though I think that many things about how it is practiced are completely backwards, I am a firm believer in the death penalty. If you’re coked out and you kill your neighbor for cash, you should go to prison–probably forever. If you are a child-abuser or a rapist, or your murder victim is someone under your care (like a family member or student), then your actions are not only evil, but so overwhelmingly reprehensible that you cannot be allowed to exist.

And, while I support the death penalty for purposes of justice rather than to satisfy survivors, the families of victims, or public demand, and rather than as merely a deterrent, I think that, if it works as a deterrent, that’s even better. I want to live in a world where women are not afraid to walk home alone at midnight—not in their neighborhoods and not anywhere. I want a world where children are not afraid to go home, for fear that they may be the victims of violence. I want a world where would-be rapists and would-be domestic abusers are too afraid to act on their evil impulses. A world where innocent people can live in peace and speak and dress how they like, and where the only people who have anything to fear are the very worst among us. And, in many cases, that fear will keep them in line.

I oppose democracy–not because “people don’t know what’s good for them,” though that is sometimes true, but because democracy on its own is the tyranny of the majority. Fareed Zacharia has pointed out (quite correctly) that a strong constitution that guarantees the rights of the people is more important for human rights than how leaders are chosen. So we could have a monarchy or some sort of ruling council or a senate, and so long as the constitution was powerful and had strong protections for all citizens, everyone’s rights would be fairly safe.

Unless there’s some sort of madman going around, stealing treasured government documents.

I hope that this post clarifies things a bit.

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Hey, Ohio–Go F Yourself

While all eyes were on Texas something really awful was happening in Ohio. Gov. John Kasich signed into law the state’s new $62 billion budget that just happened to sneak in a couple of rules. Rules about women, their choices, their health,  and their safety. He just neglected to bring that to the table because…well…because he is a spineless little worm.

Under this new budget comes the following rules: women are required to undergo a trans-abdominal ultrasound before receiving an abortion, regardless of whether or not the ultrasound is medically necessary. The budget also severely guts Planned Parenthood clinics in the state by cutting off $1.4 million in federal funding, reports the Columbus Dispatch. Rape crisis centers will now have “restrictions on what they can say to victims” and if they counsel victims on abortion options their funding can be suspended. If a clinic provides abortion services they will be required to obtain transfer agreements with local hospitals but, the budget bans public hospitals from establishing these agreements. I guess they figure—if you get an abortion and something goes wrong—you deserve to die due to no medical treatment. Just like if you were in a third world country, because lets face it—for women—America is a third world country.

One of two abortion providers in Toledo, Ohio, was forced to close it’s doors do to all the new restrictions. One of two. If the clinics stand this bullying and pressure and manage to stay open, physicians will be legally bound to provide materials informing women seeking abortions of the fetus’ “probable anatomical and physiological characteristics” during various stages of development. Doctors must also give women additional information on family planning alternatives if a heartbeat can be detected. Normally, when you get an abortion they tell you to download a packet and have it in your possession for 24 hours. At least, that’s how it was in the state of MI—but no one asked to see a packet, and no one made anyone look at it.

Here’s another gem from the budget. A “fetus” is defined as the “human offspring developing during pregnancy from the moment of conception,” meaning before the fertilized egg attaches to the uterine lining. This language could be used to make illegal certain forms of contraception, like an IUD, in the state of Ohio. Yup, now you really don’t have a choice. Stephanie Kight, president of Planned Parenthood of Greater Ohio, in a statement called the provisions “an orchestrated effort to roll back women’s rights and access to health care. The budget is only the latest in a series of restrictive laws signed by John Kasich that have hurt the women in our state who need more access to health care, not less.” This is infuriating. This should never have happened. This is dangerous to women. This is happening in 2013 in our country and are we really going to sit back and take it? These men think they’re saving a child when all they’re really doing is destroying women. But we just sit back and take it, like a good little girl.

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