This Dad Wins The Internet

I’m a HUGE equal rights activist. Obviously, I want equal rights for women but it doesn’t just stop there, I think all human beings deserve equal rights. If you are alive you deserve certain unalienable rights. Marriage equality and gay rights are very near and dear to my heart. I post endlessly on my social media accounts about it. I loved when Buzzfeed posted all the pictures from the first day that same-sex marriage was passed. Love is love, people. I live by that principle and when I see that principle come to life nothing makes me happier.

This story…ugh I love this. A man overheard a conversation his son was having and wrote him this letter:

In case you can’t read it is says:

Nate,

I overheard your phone conversation with Mike last night about your plans to come out to me. The only thing I need you to plan is to bring home OJ and bread after class. We are out, like you now.

I’ve known you were gay since you were six, I’ve loved you since you were born.

- Dad

P.S. Your mom and I think you and Mike make a cute couple.

 

I love that he made an “out” joke and I love that he gave him chores. A dad is a dad no matter who his son is and this letter illustrates that perfectly. Love should be unconditional I’m glad to see other people feel the same way.



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NRA: “Guns Are More Important Than Children”

photo of nra guns pictures, photos
I don’t understand the problem with the new gun legislation. I don’t understand the argument of “you can’t take my guns. If you ban certain kinds of guns you should ban cars too because cars kill people, too.” It’s idiotic thinking, it’s a flawed argument and frankly I’m sick of hearing it.

After the Newtown shooting I was down for the count. I couldn’t take another shooting, I couldn’t take living in a country where this happened and people’s first response was “get more guns!” I couldn’t. I fought on the side of stricter gun laws. I went through the crazed maze of people throwing nonsense at me and getting angry and name calling when I asked for facts and statistics to prove their argument. I guess this is one argument that will only be fought on the battlefield of emotion. I don’t know why this country is so against statistics and facts. I don’t know why we are so threatened by them. The minute you give a number or a fact someone comes at you with “well they got rid of 60 oz. sodas too!” That happened. That was an argument put to me, when I asked what that had to do with AR’s and AK’s the response was “I should have the right to choose a 60 oz. soda and I should have a right to choose an AK”. When did we get so entitled?

Everyone throws the Constitution around. I have a Constitutional right to bear arms! I have a Constitutional right to freedom of speech! What people forget is that Constitution was written when there was a real threat of the Government coming into your home and hurting you with their bare hands. It was written at a time when men needed guns in the house to protect their families from real tyranny and dangers. They didn’t have ADT security back then, their guns where their alarms. Oh, and that Constitution guaranteeing your freedom of speech was written when men didn’t say “fuck” in front of women and children out of respect. It was written in a different time to people that could handle those responsibilities. We have proven that we haven’t earned these rights and certainly cannot handle them. If you think I’m wrong let me present exhibit A:
Neil Heslin, the father of a 6-year-old boy who was slain in the …

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Great Expectations: Married And Expecting


Spoiler Alert: Being married is not the same thing as being pregnant.

Being married is not the same thing as trying to get pregnant.

Being married is not the same thing as planning to have children.

So, two delightful friends of mine (who, a month ago, let me come live with them for a week for a much-needed sanity break which was oh-so-welcome) have been engaged for a few months. I am so excited for them.

Here’s the thing—the lovely lady of this couple mentioned to me that people keep asking when she will have children. How many children they are planning on having.

I’m not going to try to speak for this couple, obviously. That’s their business.

Not everyone wants to have children. And, in particular, not every woman wants to have children. A lot of people seem to just hear “I don’t want children right now” when the woman is actually saying “I do not want children.”

I think that children are awesome. Raising them can be a wonderful experience. But it’s not for everyone. And I do not just mean that there are tens of millions of horrible parents out there. You don’t have to be a monster like Kate Gosselin or Casey Anthony to be a bad parent, of course. There are people who would be wonderful parents who do not want to be. Artists, teachers, police, and businesspeople who are so devoted to what they do that they are not prepared to make the sacrifices necessary to raise children.

And let’s not forget about the health drawbacks. I mean, first a foremost, a woman’s body is permanently and irreparably altered by pregnancy, and I do not just mean gaining weight. But there are other side effects—like months or even a couple of years with sporadic, frequently interrupted sleep for any parent of a newborn. And that is all after the pregnancy itself, which is notoriously less-than-fun.

Raising children requires a lot of time, energy, wisdom, and patience. And it also costs a lot of money.

You guys—it’s 2012. The biggest thing about the assumption that married couples are planning to have children is that it is such an antiquated idea. Having children is not antiquated, but the idea that marriage is a union that primarily exists for purposes of reproduction is.

So, if you have a couple of straight friends who have been dating for a while, are engaged, or are married, try to bite your tongue when it comes to questions like that. They aren’t helpful, and they can come across as assuming and even pushy.

 

PS: Also, I am totally following My Friends Are Married on Tumblr, and so should you.

PPS: And read this interview with My Friends Are Married on the marvelous site, HelloGiggles.



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A Healthy Father-Daughter Relationship


Sissy’s Magical Ponycorn Adventure is a children’s flash game that takes around five minutes to play which doesn’t sound too out of the ordinary, until I mention that the words and art for this flash game were done by the game’s target audience, a five year old girl.

Cassie Creighton and her dad, Ryan Henson Creighton, created Sissy’s Magical Pony Corn Adventure. What started out as a simple “father daughter project” turned phenomenon. The game got a lot of attention and ended up giving a nice boost to Cassie’s college fund. But the bigger picture, according to Ryan, was reforming children’s technology education.

The little game that could…did. Sissy’s Magical Ponycorn Adventure landed Ryan and Cassie a TED talk. Little Cassie, six-years-old strolls out onto the TED stage with her Father and very well spoken describes her game. Including what they used to make the game, “a red laptop, a big box of crayons, a stack of paper, a microphone and a bunch of ponies so I knew how to do draw a pony.”

The small picture is that a five-year-old and her dad create a game that gets them money and a TED talk. The bigger picture, to me, is that a dad let his daughter draw a world and he turned it into a reality.

The father daughter relationship gets a lot of attention. Father’s can really mess up their kids. Every time I see a girl wearing a skirt that doesn’t even cover her vagina I always shake my head and think, “Step it up, Dads”. But here is a Dad that’s doing it right. He let his daughter be creative, he joined in her world, and he let her lead. He also showed her a way to take her creativity and turn it into something real. Something tangible.

So often I hear parents tell their kids to, “Reach for the stars”. That’s fine, that’s wonderful. But you need to show them how. Sometimes the stars can seem really far away, and if no one every showed you that you can use this kind of ladder to get to them…how would you know? Too often I hear the time withered phrase, “do as I say, not as I do”. I think it’s time we change that. I think it’s time that parents lead by example.

There is a really strong theory in psychology: you only understand your own reality. Parents create their kids reality and the kids continue to populate it. In theory, if you show your kid that you can draw your own ladder and reach the stars whose to say they won’t invent a new way to succeed. To grow. To break the cycle.



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