Kate’s Pregnant … Who Cares?

photo of kate middleton pictures
Since Kate Middleton and Prince William got married, there have been baby rumors. Finally, the rumors are true and Kate really is knocked up. We know she is knocked up because she had to go to the hospital with morning sickness—that means this baby is already a royal pain in the ass. It also means we have nine months of watching this pregnant chick and all that comes with that. Is it a boy? A girl? What will the name be? What does this mean for Prince Harry? This will go on for nine freaking months. We don’t know the sex and probably won’t until the little jam-handed brat comes out, and that goes for the name as well. What it means for Harry is … well … nothing. He’s always known he’d never be King that’s why he gets naked in Vegas and dresses like a Nazi.

I’m sure it’s a big deal in England for the Royal Family to be having a baby …although I’m a little confused as to what the royal family does other than look cool. But why do I have to hear about it in the States? Why was it front page news when Kate Middleton got bangs? They weren’t even bangs, they were side-swept and I didn’t even notice, not to mention the photo they used was her being windblown and you couldn’t even see them so I had to search. Why does this matter?! Why was I looking for these photos? Why is her hair and baby making abilities on my news report? Why isn’t the fact that we’re second in the world for childhood poverty and seventeenth for education the top story? I think that matters a lot more than some kid I’m never going to meet that will never impact my life or Government. Can we all get a little more perspective people? Maybe I’m wrong, maybe this matters. Maybe I’m missing the point. I would love to hear from anyone who actually cares about this baby and why you care. Do me a favor, leave it in the comments and educated me on this because honestly I feel left out.

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The Today Show Chooses Kris Jenner Over 9/11

photo of kris jenner on the today show pictures
The Today Show isn’t a real news program – I want to get that out of the way. The Today Show is a morning talk show that sometimes talks about the news. And to be fair, I can’t think of one morning program in the United States, that is national, that is real news. The real news comes on in the evening. I can’t imagine Brian Williams or Stone Philips dressing up like Paris Hilton for Halloween and trying to deliver the news that way, but Matt Lauer did in 2006. Case in point, you know?

So why would it come as any surprise that on September 11th’s ‘Today’ decided to air Kris Jenner talking about her breast implants instead of cutting away to the moment of silence being held in New York for the commemoration of 9/11 is beyond me. Yes, ‘Today’ is set in New York, yes you can clearly see everyone outside those huge glass windows with their backs turned watching the moment of silence and not Kris Jenner, but again, ‘Today’ doesn’t really cover the news, does it?

When confronted with this snafu, NBC said that they did have a very lengthy interview with a World Trade Center survivor earlier in the program and another segment talking about memories regarding 9/11. That’s all well and good but the moment … the moment when the entire city is taking a moment of silence to honor those people … you talked to Kris Jenner about her boobs.

Even ‘Good Morning America’, who had Jessica Simpson co-hosting, cut away for the moment of silence. There is no excuse for airing the Kris Jenner boob segment instead of the moment of silence. It doesn’t matter how you feel about 9/11 – it is insanely disrespectful and it is a perfect illustration of our culture. Why is a 56-year-old woman, who has done nothing except pimp out her children, on the “morning news” talking about her elective plastic surgery? Why does anyone want to watch that? Why is that “news”?

It’s not news. It’s ridiculous, it’s pathetic, and it is embarrassing. But this is our culture; this is what we want to see. That woman gets paid $40 million dollars to air her family’s dirty laundry and their first-class problems to the world.

In one episode of the Kardashian’s show, the youngest daughters want to be home-schooled because they miss so much school modeling. The next episode, they call their mother after her breast augmentation surgery to ask her to borrow her $4,000 purses while she’s on pain meds because they know they’ll get the answer they want.

We have real problems in this country. We have real issues that are overlooked because of shows like this. “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” had more viewers than the Republican National Convention. In this, an election year, before you start pointing the finger at our leaders, maybe we should take a look at ourselves. This country chooses to watch overweight, (proudly stated) ‘white trash’ instead of the people running for office in this country talk about their plans for the future of the country we live in.

We have no one to blame but ourselves for the mess we’re in. People are so busy getting caught up on Kim Kardashian freezing her eggs, and ‘Married to a Jonas’ that they don’t pay attention to the facts of the world. It’s starting to show. We’re starting to fall apart at the seams. If it’s not poorly-staged drama, we’re not interested. Even this election has turned into a reality competition. Whoever can talk the most trash, point the most fingers, tell the most lies, and look the most glamorous will win. Forget about ‘best man for the job’ – we want a show!

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Media Uses Amber Alert in Sort of Disingenuous Way

Photo of Matthew Slocum in Police Custody

When I got home from teaching summer school one day last week, I turned on the news to decompress.  The first thing I saw was an Amber Alert running across the screen, which naturally grabbed my attention.

The story as given was basically that a guy named Matthew Slocum (who, the Amber Alert was sure to note, had swastika tattoos on both forearms) had killed his mother, stepfather, and stepbrother before burning down their home in New York State and fleeing with his girlfriend, Loretta Colegrove and their four-month-old son, Raymond.  They gave Slocum’s car make and model (bastard drove a pretty sweet-looking Ford Mustang) as well as his license plate number.

Oh, and the Amber Alert stated that poor Miss Colegrove was being held against her will.

Anyway, Slocum was apprehended in the sleepy New Hampshire town of Gilsum, with WMUR reporting at the time that “the woman and child he had been holding for several hours inside a Gilsum, N.H., home were found safe”.

The story has changed a bit since then.

From WMUR:

Police said they initially believed Colegrove was being held by Slocum against her will, but they believed otherwise after the surrender in Gilsum.

For now, investigators said she is not facing charges.

Colegrove’s family described her relationship with Slocum as volatile.

Cindy Colegrove, Loretta’s sister, said, “We didn’t like how he was treating my sister.”

Look, there is no question that Matthew Slocum is a monster.  The details of the crime he stands accused of in New York are chilling.

Investigators said Slocum shot his mother and stepfather in bed and then turned the gun on his teenage stepbrother in the living room of their home.

After the killings, police said he dumped gasoline on the porch and set the home on fire.

“There are witness interviews (and) forensic evidence that (are) still processing. It’s being conducted at the scene, so there’s really a whole host of steps that need to be taken,” said Capt. Stephen James, of the Washington County Sheriff’s Office. “Until that point occurs, we (are not really) in a suitable position to address matters relative to motive.”

And yet WMUR accurately noted that Slocum’s “peaceful surrender” in a New Hampshire town so small that it doesn’t even have its own …

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Princess Kate, Cow?

Photo of Kate Middleton Laughing

And no, that isn’t a fat joke.

What’s got me a little worked up is that Kate Middleton, who graduated from college with honors and had fairly extensive career options in both the fashion industry and the field of photography, has basically been relegated to a breeder.

Yup, talk has turned from her wedding dress to her ovaries before she’s even been a wife for a week.

Fox News’s Dr. Manny Alvarez is just the latest to weigh in on a topic that seems to be on everyone’s mind. Already.

Looking at these two beautiful people, I have to recommend that they have a baby as soon as possible. Why? Well, beyond passing on those top-tier genes, the reality is that Kate is 29 and Will is 28, and this is the ideal time to have a baby – especially if they are planning on having more than one child.

While starting a family right away may seem like a daunting prospect for a newlywed couple – even a pair who has been dating for years, as Kate and Will have – here’s the medical lowdown on the matter:

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