Why do women always have to be the moral compasses on television? This was a thought I had while watching “House”. I mean, really, how annoying is Cameron on that show? She is overly moral, rigid, frivolous, and while being overly moral and sickeningly ethical she also is head over ass for her boss and kind of blackmails him into dating her in one episode. Oh! And there was that episode where she and Chase hooked up instead of watching the patient. She’s the worst. That got me thinking…in ensemble casts the chick is always the moral compass or the dumb slut. There is no in-between.
If a female deviates from this role she is punished. This is illustrated in the terrible film “Drinking Buddies”. Olivia Wilde, sidebar: how hot is Olivia Wilde? Sickeningly, right? I only watched this piece of junk film to stare at her—and this is coming from someone in a relationship with a man. I’m like a two on the Kinsey scale—but man she’d put me to a five. I digress.
In this movie, Drinking Buddies, Olivia Wilde works at a brewery and she’s the coolest girl in an all-male environment. Her best bud is a dude who makes beer at the brewery. He’s dating Anna Kendrick (also hot). Olivia is dating a dude and the only real scene they have together is when he gives her a book and tells her the lead reminds him of her, when she says something like, “why? Is she…” he corrects her and says the lead is a “male” , get it? She’s too butch. You can’t do a dude job, hang out with dudes, and drink like a dude, and be a girl. No…that makes you a dude.
He ends up leaving her because he falls for Kendrick’s character who’s very girly, she’s a sweet, dress wearing, teacher. Throughout the film you can tell that Wilde and her guy friend have an attraction and I was convinced something was going to happen between them but nothing does, because the chick—who acts too much like a dude has to end up alone and looking like an ungrateful bitch (she treats this friend like junk), and the stand-up gentleman does not stray no matter how hot the chick is because he’s got such a nice sweet girl at home. Gimme a break. I’m ruining this movie because it’s that bad and if you were thinking of seeing it I want to stop you. This is me stopping you. You’re welcome.
There’s no point to the movie. The point was to annoy me I’m sure. But then I thought about Olivia Wilde….she was on House (and we come full circle) and she was a basket case on that show too. She was a bi-sexual, thrill seeker, reckless, cold, standoffish, and ran away from every problem she ever had. I’m pretty sure if a woman is mind numbingly gorgeous you have to make her wreck just to deal with her. Seriously, a woman can’t be Wildely hot (see what I did there?) and balanced. Something has to be wrong with her so the rest of the world can cope.
Well, guess what world—I’ve interacted with Olivia Wilde in real life and she is that hot in person and stupidly awesome. She’s funny, and smart, and kind, and I’m pretty sure she’s perfect. I’m also pretty sure that this 570 word essay is just my way of publically declaring my love for Olivia Wilde—and House… man, that was such a great show…if you just ignore Cameron.