Why Are We Obsessed With The Female Sex?

Well, it’s been a while. Lately, I’ve been watching the Showtime series “Masters of Sex” in which they follow the lives of William Masters and Virginia Johnson. Masters and Johnson wrote the book on sex. No, really, they did.

But the interesting part is in the show, Masters’ wife, Libby, is a pretty blonde ‘Madonna’ character. They sleep in separate beds, they don’t talk about his sex study, she tries to masturbate in front of him to arouse him and he stops her saying, “I love you too much”. So, he loves her too much to see her as a sexual being but he fantasizes about Johnson who is a sexually progressive woman.

Johnson is a dark haired (cause blonde is good and dark is dirty) woman who is all about telling a man what she wants, casual, easy sex, and she doesn’t blush when she says “penis”. Masters dreams of her but married Libby. It’s the Madonna/Whore played out. Why is a woman’s sexuality such a big deal? Why does it matter if you’re a prude or a slut or somewhere in-between? Women put such a heavy emphasis on this…because men do.

It dates all the way back to biblical times. A woman couldn’t be “ruined”. I’d been dancing around this Madonna/Whore thing since watching this show but haven’t had time to rant about it. It was kicked into overdrive when I read about a Saudi Arabian preacher who raped and tortured his 5-year-old daughter to death and was sentence to 500 lashings, paying some blood money to the mother and 8 years in prison.

He said he did it because he “doubted her virginity”. He doubted a 5 year old’s virginity. Now, I know this is Islam and you could make the argument that women are treated like dirt in Islam…but this isn’t a one-time occurrence. Women are often raped because they’re whores and they probably wanted it. Or because they drank, or wore a short skirt, because our “purity” is called into question so men can do as they please. Women do it to each other. She’s a whore she doesn’t have feelings. Or she’s too pretty to be nice. She’s more comfortable with men…she must’ve slept with all of them. Who cares? Why are we so interested in what women do in their bedrooms?

Sexuality is no one’s business. It’s not a toy for someone to play with. It’s not a measurement for someone’s worth, it’s not even part of someone’s personality. What I do in my bedroom has nothing to do with what I do outside of it. What is this obsession we have with female sex?

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Illuminati, Illuminati, Illuminati

After one of Lady Gaga’s earliest music videos (I forget which one), I read a comment on Evil Beet Gossip that began with “Illuminati, Illuminati, Illuminati.” The (insane) commenter then described interpretations of how Lady Gaga’s hands were positioned and how that was some sort of Illuminati signal.

This was the first time in my life that I realized that there were people outside of psychiatric hospitals and works of fiction who believe in a vast and long-lived conspiratorial cabal that secretly controls almost everything, from governments and corporations to pop singers.

This idea is . . . insane. But what is really, really insane is the “evidence” to which people point to prove their erratic conspiracy theories. Because what you see from these whackadoos more than moneymaking schemes is absolutely-off-the-rails interpretations of innocuous entertainment. Like this deranged break-down of Madonna’s Half-Time show.

Now, for one thing, I’ve learned from reading these comments (usually on Evil Beet Gossip, though they only show up occasionally) that by “Illuminati” they actually mean “anything and everything that they imagine.” A specific set of religious beliefs (Pagan, Catholic, Muslim, Satanist—basically whatever they like), secret government mind-control programs (MK Ultra was a real, failed government program that, um, did not successfully grant Illuminati “monarchs” mind-control powers), or honestly whatever they want. Any mention of MK Ultra that is not about the past government project, science fiction, or the Muse song should be grounds for being committed to a psychiatric facility.

The results are entertaining, but they would be more so if there weren’t real people who held these beliefs. People who have the right to vote and raise children and own guns.

Okay, from the analysis of Madonna’s Half-Time show, here is an excerpt.

We see the male dancers doing acrobats for her track “Music”. During this chaos, there were two male dancers that got down on all fours, like the Muslims do when they pray to Allah.  Most cheerleading teams, do not actually assume a prostration position when building a pyramid but in Satanic Rituals, it is believed that Lucifer or the devil would assume a prostration position and the witches would line up and kiss his anus as a sign of respect.  We not only saw a classic Lucifer Ritual Pose but we also saw the quick building of a pyramid by her dancers.

What the hell.

I mean, even disregarding that this person makes up a non-existent Satanic ritual in order to prove that Madonna’s show was in reference to it, and disregarding the fact that the author of this analysis apparently lacks the ability to distinguish between individual religions, if the Illuminati were a real thing who controlled the world, why would they hide clues to their existence in some of the most-viewed pieces of entertainment in the world? I mean, if they did that, any deranged loner could piece together all of their all-powerful conspiratorial secrets.

Obviously, that’s just the sort of thinking that “they” want me to have.

And under this Evil Beet Gossip post about Mary-Kate Olsen having a creepy-acting, much-older boyfriend, one comment was “Illuminati monarch slave and master.” You guys, attractive young women date unattractive or even repulsive older guys all of the time. Occam’s Razor isn’t the key to answering all questions, but it’s a lot better than Occam’s Rollercoaster Of Crazy, which is what these conspiracy theorists apparently use to guide their speculation. Another comment said: “The globalists love the MK Ultra slaves. The Globalists own all of us.”

And then, do you guys remember when Blue Ivy (the child of Beyonce and Jay-Z) was born? One of the worldwide trends was “Illuminati’s Very Youngest.” Because obviously the name “Ivy” was just an acronym. While most of the people tweeting those three words were talking about how insane it was, it is STILL all kinds of crazy that the Illuminati are brought into any discussion that is not about a work of fiction.

So stop it.


PS: I’m sorry, I had to pretend that the Illuminati don’t exist! They are always watching.

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Wintry Mix

photo of holiday versus christmas pictures
As I may have mentioned, I can be a bit less than fuzzy during the holiday season for a few reasons. A friend of mine was, I kid you not, referred to as a terrorist the other day at work because she told someone “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas.”

A terrorist.

Anyway, though I lived in the mountains for five years (not like Katniss Everdeen or actual terrorist Eric Rudolph, but it was the same mountains) and delighted in the weather (it is not often that I feel that it is cold enough for me to need to wear long pants outdoors, but there, I could feel cold even when thoroughly bundled up. A bit of a pain at times, but wonderful, and highly preferable to being too warm. You can always bundle up more—even if you are alone or in the right company, you don’t get any less dressed than naked, and being naked and still being too warm is the worst. And where I live now, well, even a light dusting of snow would be a pleasant surprise. It has been in the 70s for a total of like a week this December, and, as I write this, we are only two weeks into the month. Blurg.

Right, so. This time of year, I do have some music that I enjoy listening to. It is not really the traditional music* for this time of year (i.e. Christmas carols—I don’t really hear Spin The Dreidel in grocery stores too often), but it is my playlist, and I enjoy it. So here it is! Because . . . feminism.

Ahem. Here is my playlist. I call it “Wintery Mix,” because forecasters say that and because I am easily amused.

1) Christmas Tree, by Lady Gaga (featuring Space Cowboy)

This one is pretty obvious. I love this song. I love the sound of this song. I love the lyrics to this song. I love the attitude. If you are, for some reason, unfamiliar, the line: “Ho, ho, ho, under the mistletoe” should provide you with a clue. I love slutty music. Also, I assume that by “Christmas tree,” she means her lady-parts, but I have not the faintest idea how she’s seeing it as a tree. But whatever.

2) Cool, by Gwen Stefani

This one is, um, really just because of the song title? I know, it’s abhorrently simple. But …

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Breaking News: Madonna is a Whore, Right?

photo of madonna whore pictures
Madonna has stirred up controversy with almost every tour she’s ever done, so why would it be shocking that in the year 2012 she’s still doing it? It’s not shocking, and it’s not cutting edge—it’s ridiculous. I don’t know why Madonna is still a news story. The 53 year-old mother of three recently made headlines when Dmitry Rogozin, a Russian deputy premier, called her a whore—sort of, technically he called her a “w,” which is apparently Scarlet Letter-speak for ‘whore’.

This happened because Madonna discussed her support of a few Russian punk rockers currently in prison awaiting their verdict (a band called ‘Pussy Riot’). So Rogozin tweeted, “Every former w. wants to give lectures on morality when she grows old. Especially during foreign tours.” He then added, “Either take off your cross or put on your knickers.”

As for me, I can’t believe I have to discuss a tweet war and Madonna … what is the world coming to? Anyway, I don’t get it. Rogozin is right. Madonna was a whore. Straight up whore. She was proud of it, she owned it and I’m not judging her for it, but the woman was loose. Guys, she put out a sex book … and have you seen that book? It is not “art” or “beautiful nudes”; it’s hardcore, fetish, gang bang-like porn. Kind of trampy, I must say, and maybe not necessarily in the way I like, either.

So, what’s the problem? Am I going to get a bunch of comments because I called a spade a spade? Probably not, but Rogozin did. Twitter flooded him messages defending Madonna. Why? Does anyone think Madonna needs someone to fight her battles for her? It’s been 30 years since Madonna came on the scene and she’s heard it all, been called it all, and done it all, so I highly doubt she needs a bunch of Tweeting twits defending her honor. Which brings my point full-circle … Madonna is not honorable, se’s commendable. What she’s managed to do in her career and in this industry is amazing, but she did it by pushing sexual boundaries. She did it by making …

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