Kim and Kanye are Just Like Jesus

Everyone who reads this blog knows my feeling on Kim and Kanye but they have really done it this time. Kim and Kanye went to Rio on vacation—I don’t know what they need a vacation from, their lives are a vacation for Christ’s sake. They go to Rio and they do the touristy thing and visit the famous Christ the Redeemer statue. That’s fine, that’s normal. I’ve seen Jim Carrey visiting that statue and posting his pics on Twitter with a big beautiful smile. I have a friend from Rio and she post pics of she and her husband standing underneath Christ’s open arms. These are normal shots. But apparently Kim and Kanye are better than normal people.

They go to the Christ the Redeemer statue and they don’t smile up at him in their shot, they don’t stand under him…they pose like him. They posed as Jesus Christ. Yup, that happened. They stood there, arms outstretched, blessing all of Rio because well—they’re Kim and Kanye and have no respect for anything. There Kim stands, knocked up out of wedlock posing as Christ. C’mon!

Even the people standing around them don’t follow suit. No one looked at that pose and thought “haha that’s funny I’m gonna do it to”. Nope. Not-a-one. We all know they both have a huge God complex but this is just too much. They’re too much—and they’re breeding. I can’t take it. Can’t we ban them? Can’t we punish them or something? Can’t someone knock them off their pedestals (which they have no reason to be on anyway!?) What is happening in the world?!
You know, God, Jesus, Mary, Christ, Holy Ghost, St. Peter WHOMEVER! This was a missed opportunity for some smiting. Prime smiting position these two were in and nothing…not a thing. Ugh. I just hate wasted opportunities.



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Kim Kardashian vs Kate Winslet

Kim Kardashian has admitted she doesn’t like being pregnant—join the club. I hate that she’s pregnant. It’s even worse that she’s knocked up by Kanye West. The two of them together is an illustration of everything that is wrong with this world, and now they’re breeding.

I don’t want to deal with the pictures of her growing belly all over Huffington Post, because you know that will make the front page. I don’t want to deal with the Kimye maternity line. I really don’t want to ever hear from Kris Jenner about this. This family has too many people in it, anyway. This is just more money being paid out to people for doing nothing. This fetus is already famous and it’s not even human yet. The thing still has a tail and gills. Why do I know about this?

I am so sick of having to deal with Kim Kardashian’s vagina.  I know everything that has gone into it; I know that it’s been lasered, and now I have to deal with things coming out of it. That’s a porn star if I’ve ever heard one. Can we just officially call her that now? She’s not famous for nothing, she’s famous for her vagina and all that her vagina does.

Why can’t she be cool? If I have to hear about her all the time she should be awesome instead of useless. Like Kate Winslet. Kate Winslet gets better and better and better. Not only is she a great actress, saves people from fires (Google Winslet Branson Grandmother Fire), she also marries people with the last name Rocknroll and gets a ticket to space.

Winslet got married for the third time to the Ned Rocknroll who happens to be the nephew of Richard Branson. Branson owns Virgin and Virgin is working on commercial space flight. Ned Rocknroll (not his birth name obviously) is the executive on the project. For a wedding gift Branson gave Kate a ticket on a flight. Kind of cheap if you ask me, but still amazing all the same.

New rule: if you’re going to be a celebrity and in my face 24/7 in 2013 you have to be as awesome as Kate Winslet.



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Perhaps because I’m an English major, or because my voice has always been on the lower side and miles away from bubble-gummed femininity, I’ve always harshly judged women with ditzy talking habits.  Not lisps or stutters or anyone with an actual condition, of course, but creeeakkky-voiced up-talkers who, like, over-use sentence-fillers and, um, end …

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The Superbowl Ad Preview: Serving Up More of the Same

photo of kim kardashian hot pictures

We’ve gotten a preview of some of the ads the Superbowl will bring us this year (Sunday, February 6, 2011, mark your calendars), and it’s not looking great. Some of the most expensive commercials of all time will feature Kim Kardashian in a Sketchers ad, Faith Hill for Teleflora, and Danica Patrick and Jillian Michaels for GoDaddy. What do all these women have in common? At least a few of them are going to be very provocative.

First, we have Kim Kardashian. What we have to look forward to, according to her, is “a very provocative ad.” Kardashian will be working out in Sketchers gear, but breaking up with someone at the same time. That’s what I call multitasking. Kim tells us that when she was filming it, “There was a lot of sweat making this ad. It gets a little slippery.” Incredibly original, seeing some sexy lady rolling around in jello, or …

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