Is Bemoaning the Lack of Fictional Female Mentors Taking Feminism Too Far?

Picture of One Woman Mentoring Another

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

Sometimes, though, it’s … well, not.

In fact, much of the time life sort of goes along in a way that could almost be considered typical.  Stereotypical, even, odd as that sounds.

When I first read a recent piece on Jezebel lamenting the lack of strong female mentor characters, I was totally on board.  The fact that fictional mentors for young women are frequently power-hungry super bitches, arrogant (and, naturally, handsome) men, or “real characters” that often happen to be flamboyantly homosexual is inarguable.

That being said, though … so the hell what?

I am a voracious reader.  Sometimes, in fact, I think I need a 12-step program for my addiction to literature.  I also love movies.

Why?

Because it allows me to escape from my own life, to gain perspective, to think about other things.

If somebody made a movie about my life, it’d be pretty freaking boring.  And I have female mentors, several of them in fact.  Furthermore, they are real characters.

  • One of my teaching mentors has an obsession with Def Leppard that has led to tattoos in odd locations and guitar picks displayed in glass boxes on the mantle.
  • One of my life mentors recently sent me a picture of a shell she found on the beach shaped like a penis in a desperate attempt to get me to fly to North Carolina for Thanksgiving.
  • One of my writing mentors is … well, the inimitable Sarah Taylor-Spangenberg, which speaks for itself.
  • One of my motherhood mentors told me once that plastic Solo cups are the best way to keep your kids from knowing what you’re drinking.

And so on.

These are, all four and many more that I’m not bringing up, incredibly strong woman that I …

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Does “The Bubble” Really Exist?

Jezebel posted a video of a filmmaker who wanted to test the theory that hot girls have it far easier than their frumpy, dowdy counterparts. She tested her hypothesis by going around asking if she could have things — bus rides, cab rides, drinks at a bar, fair rides, ice creams, etc. — for free. First, in a long drab skirt with her hair tied back and no make-up and then second with her hair done beautifully, her make-up perfect and her body glued into a tight short dress and cute little cardigan.

The results weren’t exactly shocking, but it seems as though the amateur anthropologist ignored one very, very large factor — how the change in clothes made her act or react.

As her “dowdy” self, she would sort of shuffle around, looking sad and ask for free stuff, which I’m guessing made a lot of people wonder if she wasn’t “on the dole,” as it were.

As her made-up self, she was flirtatious, giggly, sweet and charming. Sure, it helped that she was wearing tight clothes and make-up, but had she gone in with the same sad-sack demeanor, I think she …

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Rape Victim Vindicated … But Does it Change Anything for Other Women?

Photo of Rapist Willis in Handcuffs

Rape is arguably the worst possible crime in existence.  While the physical damage generally heals, the emotional repercussions of a sexual assault are lifelong.  Perhaps the worst thing about surviving a rape is the intrinsic need to keep it secret.

It is very difficult to say the words, “I was raped.”  It is even harder, however, to must the courage to say the words and face a firestorm of people casting doubt.  Since sexual assault is often difficult if not impossible to prove (never mind define), there is a surprisingly high percentage of people (and some of them are regular Zelda Lily readers) that automatically assume a woman claiming rape is lying.

I was raped.  It happened in 1998, I was drunk, and it was unspeakable.  While the physical effects healed fairly quickly, I will never fully recover emotionally.  To this day, I am not able to …

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On Dove’s “Racist” Bodywash Ad

photo of dove ad racist pictures photos

There has been plenty of chatter over the above ad the past couple of weeks, with many blogs and news outlets questioning whether the positioning of the three women in front of the “Before” and “After” images is racist. Why? Well Jezebel, along with a number of other sources, believes that the not-so-subtle implication is that the bodywash isn’t just promising to give you smoother, silkier skin, but also that by putting the black woman squarely in front of the “Before,” the latina woman somewhere in the middle and the white woman in front of the “After,” that they’re also implying that the palest skin tone is the most desirable. The tagline “Visibly more beautiful skin” doesn’t help much, either, nor does the fact that all they promise …

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