It’s Just Sex

photo of female body pictures
Joan Price is a senior sex expert, award winning author, and blogger. Price recently wrote a piece for Huffington Post called, “Things You’ll Never Hear Him Say When He Sees You Naked”. The piece is supposed to help older women feel better naked but it’s good for women at any age. How many of us have gone without shaving our legs to prevent ourselves from having sex on a date? How many of us prefer sex in the dark or candle light as opposed to daytime overhead lighting?

In Joan’s article she says, “You’ve got to trust me on this, he’s not going to say or even think any of the following:

• “Oh, gee, you have so many wrinkles!”
• “You’d be so pretty if you lost weight.”
• “Huh — I thought you looked younger with clothes on.”
• “I like firmer butts and perkier breasts.”
• “Uh, I gotta go now.”

I couldn’t agree more with Joan on this. I’m guilty of not shaving to prevent sex too early in a relationship (not that it ever worked), of asking for the lights off, or of setting the candles in certain areas because I know it’s good lighting for me but I grew out of all this when I was around 23 and realized that it didn’t matter to men. I live with someone now and this point has really been hammered home. It’s not that they don’t notice we don’t shave it’s that they don’t care. Sex is the goal, if they reach that goal that’s all that matters. It’s chemistry, it’s passion no amount of stubble or wrinkles will stop you from it.

I’m really glad Joan Price wrote this article and Huffington Post promoted it. Women, it’s time to stop being so ashamed. No one can be perfect 100% of the time. Your man knows you have hit puberty and have hair in certain places, he knows your age, he knows you wear a push-up bra and he doesn’t care. If he does, he’s the wrong man.

You Might Also Like ...

Boys are Yucky

Boys are gross. That’s a fact. They do gross things, and find gross things awesome. They can go four days without a shower and not notice. It’s gross. To further prove my point Reddit conducted a “what do you do” type poll and these are some of the results, none of which are shocking.

This is what men admit to doing on the toilet and my response to it:

“Pretend stream of piss is a power washer for removing the hard to get stains from the toilet.”- Why are there stains? Clean your toilet with real cleaning supplies or buy those blue things that hide them!

“Like most people, I pee in the shower. Unlike most people, I hold my penis upwards when I do it sometimes. It makes a really cool fountain.”- That is not “like most people”. You stand in urine. Then you spray urine up towards your face. Gross. So freaking gross.

“Tried to spit directly into your stream while pissing.”- WHY?!!?

“Flush mid piss and race the toilet.”- This I understand.

“I am quite confident that all men with a bathroom scale weigh themselves before and after they poop to see how much it weighed.”- So simple…men are so simple.

“When taking a piss make a circle with your fingers around the stream and try to make sure you don’t get on your hand.”- But you do get it on your hands…the pee sprays on your hands, disgusting.

“Take an epic dump so intense that you had to remove your shirt because it got so hot.”- It should not be such hard work…change your diet.

“Saw a turd in half with super-power piss-stream.” I can’t. I can’t even…how do you not gag? You know what…no…just…no.

This is what men admit to doing with their balls and my commentary:

“When your balls get stuck to your thighs in a public place, you open your legs as wide as possible without looking like a freak and let the balls slowly unstick. Best feeling.” “After you took a piss and a lil ballsack meat is stuck between your boxers and you just lift your leg like a dog who’s about to pee.” “Do a little leg kick mid walk in an attempt to unstick your balls from your leg.”- Three different ways unsticking your balls is amazing. You simple lovely creatures.

“Sit there and watch your ball sack move in and out by itself like some weird alien being. I can sit there and stare at it fluctuate for …

Continue reading

You Might Also Like ...

Why You Shouldn’t Skin The Cat (Science Says So)

photo of pubic hair pictures
Let’s talk about pubic hair.  Nowadays it’s cool to shave it all off, right? It’s “hot,” it’s “edgy,” and it’s not-at-all pre-pubescent or weird. There are a lot of theories as to why this took place. People say it’s a fetish, it’s hygienic, it’s aesthetic, etc. But as it turns out, it’s none of those things.

I mean, I guess it could be a fetish but so can brushing your teeth. According to a new study it’s not hygienic—it can actually cause infections. And it’s not aesthetic because when you constantly shave or wax, you irritate the area and little bumps or discoloration can form. Hot, right? HOT.

The article also states, “Some clinicians are finding that freshly shaved pubic areas and genitals are also more vulnerable to herpes infections due to the microscopic wounds being exposed to virus carried by mouth or genitals.  It follows that there may be vulnerability to spread of other STIs as well.”GROSS.

So there you have it … um, don’t shave. Look, I’m all for people doing whatever they want with hair down there, but I feel like this study gives you license to just let it go out of control. You have to trim …you gotta keep it in line. This is 2012—there is no need for a fur bikini, ladies. And gentlemen, well … if you want us to venture down there,, you better make it a nice little place for us to go. I’m down there to do a job, not to floss.

So in short? If you’re looking for an excuse to be lazy, this study is for you. But maybe you just shouldn’t have unprotected sex, or maybe you shouldn’t have sex after you cut yourself with a razor, you should probably just practice good hygiene and get routinely tested, how about all that?

You Might Also Like ...

Hairy Situation: To Shave or Not to Shave

photo of julia roberts pictures photos hairy armpit pics
Emer O’Toole, a young woman from Dublin, decided to stop shaving 18 months ago when she came to the conclusion that too much pressure is put upon women to conform to ‘artificial gender norms’. She then went on a morning show in the UK and proudly lifted her arms to show the patch of hair she had grown, as well as the hair growth on her legs.

And she’s not the first woman to go “au natural”—Julia Roberts turned up at a premiere and revealed a quite hairy armpit, much to the dismay of the whole “civilized” world. There’s been an influx of celebrity “hairy” photos from Kate Upton’s mustache to Beyonce’s underarms, and it’s becoming more and more accepted, thankfully.

The issue I take with Emer, however, is that she says shaving is anti-feminist. Me, I beg to differ, Ms. O’Toole. Women have hair on our bodies because we needed to stay warm back in caveman days. It was our “fur”—everyone knows that. Now? Well, now we don’t need it all that much, so why would you really want to keep it? It’s not an “artificial gender norm” for a girl to be a girl. Girls are stereotypically soft and they smell sweet … boys are pegged to be rougher and smell musty. I don’t want that to change … I like smelling girl smell and I like smelling boy smell. I guess that makes me bi-smelling? I don’t know.

I’m Polish, Russian, and Sicilian, and that means for me, I have to shave every day. Every once in a blue moon I’ll let it go for a day, but I feel very uncomfortable, itchy, and worry that I smell. For me, there’s nothing better than having a hot shower, de-furring, putting nice-smelling lotion all over my body and sliding into crisp, clean sheets. Why is any of this anti-feminist?

I don’t shave to please men; I do it to please myself. We all know it does not matter how prickly the leg is—if you’re spreading them, the guy is willing. It’s all about what makes you feel good as a woman, so if shaving makes you feel good about yourself (like me) or if it doesn’t (like Emer) it’s all you. You just do you and quit worry about what everyone else is doing, you know?

You Might Also Like ...