Argh, My Period!

Menstruation is not super fun. It’s a milestone in any young woman’s life to begin menstruating. It’s a milestone in an older woman’s life to stop menstruating. It’s not fun for women. Sometimes, it’s no picnic for those around them, either.

While tracking a woman’s cycle (unless you are her doctor or her lover) is generally pretty creepy (and potentially dismissive and misogynistic, as in: “Oh, you’re just saying that because you’re hormonal”), knowing when the women close to you (your family members whom you see often or with whom you live, or female friends whom you see often or a roommate or a roommate’s girlfriend) are on their cycles can be helpful in some situations.

There is some truth to the often-exaggerated PMS-monster idea. Some women are more highly emotional at certain times because of their hormones. That does not mean that anything that they say or do should be dismissed. It does not mean that hostile, confrontational, or otherwise rude behavior should be excused due to hormones. It does mean that other people in that woman’s life might want to think about how they react to her behavior (whatever it might be) and consider what might be influencing it.

This is actually good advice for any situation. You should always consider what factors might be influencing a person’s behavior at certain times. That does not mean that it is an excuse—you should expect an apology later, at the very least.

However, there is another reason for which guys might do well to remember that the women in their lives who are not their lovers still have cycles. Guys have them too.

We don’t bleed or have cramps, true. Guys are more likely to have acne breakouts at certain times, according to the cycles of their own hormones. Like women, guys can also sync up with the women around them—whether it’s their mother, sister, girlfriend, or a couple hundred girls sharing their dorm building. Guys can sync up with each other, too. Acne is not the extent of it.

During my “time of the month,” I might be more easily angered (I keep my anger internal and keep strictly to cold rages, of course, because I am not some sort of barbarian) or I might be more likely to cry while watching television (I use television for catharsis—it’s much better than letting emotions like sadness run wild in my actual life).

This can be a problem, even between male friends. One friend might be extra grouchy and say something slightly hurtful. The other might be feeling extra sensitive at the same time and be more distressed than he otherwise might.

Now, everyone has a higher emotional range as a teenager. Internally, I’m grouchy and old (old people can be sluts, too; we just do not like to think about it), but even I had something of a roller coaster of emotions during my teen years. Though, by the time that I was seventeen, I had already given up on high-risk emotions like “romantic love” and generally mellowed out. During the hormone-fueled madness of early puberty, however, everything seems so important and feelings seem urgent and love feels like it’s life-or-death.

A lot of people, male and female, are aware of this. Guys do need to realize that hormones continue to impact them as they age, and not just in terms of hair-growth patterns and sex drive. Men, your behavior is impacted by your hormones. You’re getting off easy compared to what women have to put up with, but you need to be self-aware. And maybe that will make you a little more sympathetic to the women in your lives.

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Smelling Salts for Monogamy?

photo of smelling salts pictures
The Journal of Neuroscience conducted a study that shows if men get a whiff of oxytocin, they behave like decent human beings. And by that, I mean they don’t cheat. The study shows that men who said they were in “stable, monogamous” relationships stood 6 ½ inches farther away from an attractive woman after sniffing oxytocin than their single counterparts. When given a placebo, both single and taken men moved in close to the attractive woman. When handed a photograph of an attractive woman, “taken” men who had sniffed oxytocin held the picture at a farther distance than those that did not.

What exactly is oxytocin? Well, it’s a chemical that is found in the body in response to orgasm, early romance, breast-feeding, and childbirth. I guess that means, if you’re a man, sniffing it reminds you that you have an important woman in your life? The study’s original hypothesis was smelling oxytocin would make men move closer to a woman since they are the carrier/supplier of it.

Paul Zak, founding director of Claremont Graduate University’s Center for Neuroeconomics Studies, said “The new findings squared nicely with research, including his own, suggesting oxytocin doesn’t merely make people friendlier — it makes them more empathetic, more attuned to social cues, and more inclined to adjust their behavior accordingly.” He went on to say, “The finding that one’s relationship status affects how oxytocin affects the brain provides some evidence that our brains evolved to form long-term romantic relationships. Hugh Hefner is the exception, not the role model for men.”

Did you read that boys? You will never be Hugh Hefner, nor should you try, so get over the idea of seven girlfriends, because the reality of it sucks. Don’t you people watch E! True Hollywood Story? His life was a misery with those seven girls. Seven girls, that’s seven cycles … and women sync up … anyway.

What’s the point of this study? Will it allow doctors to create a nose spray that reminds men to keep in their pants? Not according to the study’s leaders; they don’t think any drug could be so powerful. But I will quote Chris Rock on the subject, “A man is only as faithful as his options. We can stop chasing it, and even that requires some rehab. But it’s hard for a man to stop. If it chase us, we can’t run that fast”. I get it, so maybe this “sniff of oxytocin” keeps you out of the chase? Maybe that’s why you stand farther away? So you get a head start?

Either way this study proves that men are simple creatures completely controlled by their emotions. That’s right, boys you’re more chemically imbalanced than we are!

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No One Should Be Held Back From Their Dreams Over a Headache–Even Michele Bachmann

Photo of Michele Bachmann With Apparent Headache

It’s no secret that I’m not exactly a fan of Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann.  In fact, I find her pretty much repugnant … and, quite frankly, at least a little bit dangerous.

That being said, I deplore inequity in any way, shape, or form, and I find recent criticism of Bachmann, who suffers from migraines, to be … well, pretty much repugnant.

Fox News contributor Dr. Marc Siegel recently weighed in on the left wing’s implication that Bachmann is unfit for a possible presidency because of her headaches … and I have to say that I agree with him.

Along comes Michele Bachmann, a migraine sufferer, one of millions (approximately 28 million in the U.S.). The left wing media …

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Princess Kate, Cow?

Photo of Kate Middleton Laughing

And no, that isn’t a fat joke.

What’s got me a little worked up is that Kate Middleton, who graduated from college with honors and had fairly extensive career options in both the fashion industry and the field of photography, has basically been relegated to a breeder.

Yup, talk has turned from her wedding dress to her ovaries before she’s even been a wife for a week.

Fox News’s Dr. Manny Alvarez is just the latest to weigh in on a topic that seems to be on everyone’s mind. Already.

Looking at these two beautiful people, I have to recommend that they have a baby as soon as possible. Why? Well, beyond passing on those top-tier genes, the reality is that Kate is 29 and Will is 28, and this is the ideal time to have a baby – especially if they are planning on having more than one child.

While starting a family right away may seem like a daunting prospect for a newlywed couple – even a pair who has been dating for years, as Kate and Will have – here’s the medical lowdown on the matter:

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