Who among us hasn’t dreamed of true love, of finding that one special person to share their life with? Sometimes, however, we get bogged down in the Disney princess mentality and miss the opportunities that exist right under our noses. And sometimes, friends with benefits, casual dating with occasional (and non-monogamous sex), and the odd hookup are just easier.
But according to recent research out of the University of Iowa led by sociologist Anthony Paik, these informal relationships aren’t necessarily a bad thing … even in terms of finding your one true love (if you believe in such a thing, of course).
Couples who became sexually involved as friends or acquaintances and were open to a serious relationship ended up just as happy as those who dated and waited.
“We didn’t see much evidence that relationships were lower quality because they started off as hookups,” said Paik, an assistant professor in the UI College of Liberal Arts and Sciences. “The study suggests that rewarding relationships are possible for those who delay sex. But it’s also possible for true love to emerge if things start off with a more ‘Sex and the City’ approach, when people spot each other across the room, become sexually involved and then build a relationship.”
You know, part of me is really pretty excited about this even while my brain is screaming, “That’s freaking rudimentary!”
What this research is basically saying, after all, is that those willing to invest the time and energy and desire into making a relationship successful are more likely to be successful at the great long-term relationship game. Therefore, it doesn’t matter as much if a couple start out as friends …