I hate L.A. I’ll be honest about it – I do not like the city I live in one bit. I like the scenery, I like the weather, I like the beaches, but I hate the city. I’m not the kind of girl that goes out, I don’t like getting dressed up, and I hate having my picture taken. Nothing about me screams “stereotypically girly.” I’d rather be at home with my dogs and my documentaries. I’m also not big on bragging. I won’t tell you what celebrity I talked to, or name drop the person/production I work for, I won’t help your career. If you want to be friends with me, my friendship only comes with me it doesn’t come with my connections, I’m big on hard work and making your own way. In a city like L.A, where everything is very visual and all about, “where you’ve been”, “who you saw”, “who you know”, and “what can you do for me” it can be hard to fit in.
But I’ve never really fit in. I’ve always been a “guy’s girl”. Which I’m not complaining about, because I am what I am. I was a tomboy and sort of sensitive, and I grew up really fast and so I couldn’t relate with most of the girls my age. I found them generally frivolous, and I didn’t think boys weren’t into silly things, either. Boys liked sports, and video games and we didn’t have to talk about “who we liked” or “what new dress we got” so I mostly hung around them. I didn’t have to relate to boys. They didn’t want to know what I was thinking or feeling and I was much more comfortable that way. They just let me be. Girls back then had a way of wanting to bond in an emotional, intimate way and that just wasn’t my style. It wasn’t then and it’s still not now.
The girls were always too mean and harshly judgmental for me to deal with when I was growing up. It wasn’t that big of a deal in middle school, but when I got to high school the girls became ruthless. My guy friends who had girlfriends couldn’t hang out with me …
