Beauty is Boring

 A recent study says that if you are “conventionally beautiful”, if your main focus is appearing attractive and stylish to others, you are very probably internally unattractive. 236 people were used as controls in the study. Women were recorded walking into a room, walking around a table, reading the weather into the camera & leaving.

Judges, 118 people both male and female, would watch the tapes then rate each woman for attractiveness passing judgment on her body, voice, degree of refinement and stylishness of dress, & offered their perception of her traits and values. Then the “judges” were give surveys that the women had filled out in which they list their actual values & traits.

The “attractive” women were perceived as “agreeable, open to experience, extroverted, conscientious and emotionally stable,” these are attractive traits. What was found was that the “attractive” women on the tapes actually had, “values that express the motivation to conform and submit to social expectations, and with values that express a focus on self-promotion rather than on concern for others.” So the exact opposite of what you would want from a person.

People will argue that there are exceptions to the rule they would be right, I would be one of them. I used to model for my photographer friends and a poster size picture of me is currently hanging on some strangers wall. Yes, an image of me was bought from an art gallery after winning the “Viewer’s Choice” award. Which I guess would make me attractive. I’m also a MENSA candidate and spend a good portion of my time promoting charities and working on suicide prevention, depression, anxiety, and bullying awareness. I’m all for taking care of yourself, I exercise, I …

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Dreams vs. Family: One Woman’s Conundrum

photo of los angeles pictures

I’ve recently been offered a huge opportunity. I currently have a very stable job at a great place working with great people. This opportunity is to work for a major studio, with a one year contract. Since I came out to L.A., my goal has been: GET IN A STUDIO.

That was two years ago, and in the two years that I’ve been here, I met my boyfriend, got a house and adopted two dogs. I began letting go of chasing my studio dream. I freelanced for a while and always applied to studio jobs, but never had much hope. Anyone that lives out in L.A. will tell you that if you want to get into a studio, and you don’t know someone or start out at an agency yourself, you don’t have much chance of ‘scaling that wall’. I don’t know anybody and I never worked at an agency. And honestly? I scaled the wall all on my own, which feels amazing.

My current job is at a wonderful place with wonderful people. In L.A., it’s hard to find people with substance that won’t stab you in the back to get ahead but this place … this place is like a Zen garden. It’s great for my family because it’s stable and routine-oriented—I’m home by 6:30pm every night.  I’ve been running the gauntlet of emotions since I got this job offer, naturally; guilt, fright, anxiety-ridden, happiness, and excitement.  I’ve asked everyone for advice and the advice is always the same: “Write down pros and cons and see what matters to you.”

I wrote down the pros and cons and looking at my list I realized that on that paper it was broken down to dreams vs. family. Do I throw the work/family stability away and risk my family to chase my career, or do I throw away my career to keep balance in my family? I feel …

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The Totally Awesome Gift-Giving Guide for Feminists

Perplexed as to what fabulous gift you should buy that wonderful feminist in your life?  Fear not, I have compiled this handy-dandy list of great gifts just for that quandary!

Books:

For the book worm in your life!

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