Did you hear? The International Amateur Boxing Association wants to throw their hats – or their skirts, rather – into the ring for Olympic contention. On the floor for next year’s London Olympics? Skirts for the female boxing teams. Yes, skirts. And before you go thinking it’s for some kind of rational, “noble” reason like allowing the female competitors to maintain their flowery femininity, think again – the association claims that the miniskirt-wearing is so spectators can tell the difference between male and female contenders. Yup. From the Washington Post:
The official line is that skirts will make it easier for the casual Olympic boxing fan to tell female boxers apart from the men. Imagine the confusion, after all, if someone on their living room couch believes they are watching Daniel fight for a gold medal when who they’re really seeing is Danielle.
Isn’t that special of them? So considerate and thoughtful in case, you know, you had a bet going with a friend that Daniel – er, Danielle – would win the match. We wouldn’t want any kind of unwanted confusion, now would we? Better yet, to further address the apparent problem of telling athletic women apart from athletic men, let’s enforce a rule that all male contenders wear only barbaric-looking cod pieces. Right? I mean, that’s only fair, isn’t it? While the women flaunt their curves in miniskirts for the world to see, it’s only fair that the world judge male boxers by what they’re carrying below the belt. I mean, it’d make all the difference when you’re talking heavyweight and featherweight, now wouldn’t it just?