The Once And Future King Can Be Gay And That’s Fine


Parliament is likely to add an amendment to current legislation that will essentially allow for a simplification of questions of marriage and succession for William and Kate’s children (and grandchildren and further descendants), should any of them be gay. And we all know that that will happen—and not just because the Duchess of Cambridge totally looks like she’d have a gay son (sorry; I have Level Twelve Gaydar. It’s a blessing and a curse). There have been gay rulers before, and I don’t just mean speculation about British monarchs like Queen Elizabeth or King James (who produced, hands-down, the worst version of the Christian Bible that ever existed prior to the Twentieth Century). There have definitely been closeted men and women on the throne (any throne, really). And history has seen plenty of gay monarchs—particularly Roman Emperors.

Ancient Rome had a lot of problems, I know, but dang they were excellent in so many ways.

Anyway, this is a good thing. Members of the Royal family can marry members of the same sex and adopt (or do IVF) and their children will be in in line for the throne.

Now, it’s not a meaningful title—I know. The British monarch is the Head of State in Great Britain, but not the Head of Government. I’m all for constitutional monarchies, but if they have no actual power beyond bestowing knighthoods and orchestrating big events, I kind of think that monarchies are pretty silly. But, then, despite every name in my family being British or at least UK in origin (Harward, Lloyd, Wrenn, Yates), it’s not a part of my identity (my family’s been in the US for a couple of centuries at least). Who is king or queen can probably mean a lot more to citizens of the UK.

But I am still excited because lawmakers too often wait too long to update laws so that they make sense, but this legislation looks like it is set to pass. And that is wonderful. I would love to see a same-sex marriage in Britain’s royal line. More visibility for gay rights on a global scale is a good thing (especially with psychotic countries like Iran and Uganda still in existence).

 

PS: I know that the title to this post is awful, but it could have been worse. I mean, do you remember the Fairly Oddparents episode titled: “The Boy Who Would Be Queen?” I could have gone with something like that. That was a great episode, by the way. I was so amused when so many ridiculous people were accusing Spongebob Squarepants of being super gay, because, um, Fairly Oddparents was so much gayer. From Cupid (super gay) to Timmy’s Dad (who described Teen Singing Sensation Chip Skylark as “delicious”) to Timmy’s drama teacher to Jorgen Von Strangle’s relationship with Binky. Seriously, you guys. If only the sound effects on that show had not been so constant and if only everything had not gone downhill after Cosmo and Wanda had that baby.



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