Tag Archives: Domestic Violence

Don’t Hit Women. Thanks, Grey’s Anatomy.

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I feel as if all of my posts have supremely obvious titles. Don’t Hit Women. Abercrombie Sucks. PornPornPorn. Sometimes, the world needs to be the point blank, black and white, throw it in your face kind of obvious.

Thursday, May 9th hosted the newest Grey’s Anatomy episode. Tonight will be the season finale. Last Thursday’s episode Readiness is All was emotional, dramatic, and fantastic. All are to be expected from a hit tv show that has stood up over nine seasons and has always been in the top 5 dramas currently on television.

Grey’s Anatomy has touched on many heart-wrenching and controversial issues over the years. It also plays host to a myriad of brilliant and admirable female character’s, including the woman that the show is named for, Dr. Meredith Grey. These women save lives and kick ass. They have fantastic, formidable careers and love passionately. They also sometimes make minor mistakes, make mistakes that can’t be condoned such as affairs, and deal with very real emotional issues.

They may be dramatic television characters that deal with horrific problems, but sometimes I wish that I was a Cardiothoracic surgeon surrounded by equally admirable, brilliant, studly men.

As the women of Grey’s would say, that sounds McDreamy. McSomething, I suppose.

Last week’s episode focused on a domestic violence situation between one doctor (Jo) and her doctor boyfriend (Jason). They had hit each other. She left the incident with facial bruising, and he left with brain trauma that nearly killed him. When he awoke, another doctor (Alex) blackmails Jason into not pressing charges. Alex tells Jason that is never acceptable to hit a girl. Jason protests, saying that Jo hit him as well. Alex responds with “don’t hit a girl; take it or walk away.”

I don’t agree. This type of situation isn’t to be excused. Take it? He should just take the violence? No, he should have walked away. I don’t think we should just excuse domestic violence when it is at the hands of a woman. Neither of them should be acting upon violent thoughts.

Instead of saying “don’t hit a girl,” we should be saying “don’t hit.” If we want equal treatment, we need to give it back to the men as well. I know that this common phrase, “don’t hit a woman,” is part gentlemanly ideals, part encouraging self restraint in men. This implys that men have lessened control over their violent thoughts; that they should restrain their self when these thoughts are towards women, but perhaps it is more ok for a man to hit a man. Men being manly, right? No. Just stop.

Men, don’t hit men. Women, don’t hit men. Men, don’t hit women. Women, don’t hit women! Don’t hurt each other! Walk away!

Don’t take it, and don’t give it back unless you really do have to defend yourself. If you really think that you will get hurt if you don’t fight back, and there is no way to leave the situation, then by any means possible, defend yourself. Defend yourself until you are able to leave the situation.

I worked at a suicide hotline for a notable duration, and I was amazed by what terrible situations people’s lives truly could be in. These calls were not from third world nations or slums, but from my backyard.

People face violence everywhere. Violence happens in every pay scale. Don’t be a part of it. Stand up for yourself without breaking someone’s face.



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Stars They’re Just Like Us … and Sometimes Even Worse

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Day number two in Celebrity Rants: Halle Berry is crazy. We’ve all over looked this fact because she’s drop-dead gorgeous, but Halle Berry is crazy. Remember when she was involved in a hit and run? Yes, she was. She hit someone and left them. Then I saw her on Oprah talking about when she was found out she was pregnant and she said she took 32 pregnancy tests and when it was positive she got up and ran around the house screaming like a woman on Maury. Bitch is crazy. Now it’s turning out her life is also crazy.

It was a little odd that when she broke up with baby-daddy, Gabriel Aubry, and she immediately wanted to move to Paris with new beau, Oliver Martinez. After all that, she fought for sole custody. (Take it easy lady, why do you need sole custody?) Turns out it didn’t matter, because it wasn’t granted. This must have pissed Oliver Martinez off, because he went medieval on Gabriel Aubry’s face.

Witnesses say Aubry was dropping their daugher, Nahla, off when Martinez came out and approached him and said, “We have to move on”. Aubry then allegedly pushed and punched Martinez, which was a stupid move because Martinez used to box competitively. A scuffle ensued and Martinez ends up pinning Aubry to the ground while performing a citizen’s arrest. Aubry “was booked for a private persons arrest for battery,” an LAPD spokesperson confirmed. Both men went to the hospital, Aubry for his face, and Martinez for his hand. Nahla thankfully missed the whole ordeal because Berry took her inside.

Seriously, though, these are grown people. These are grown, successful people—what the hell are they doing beating each other up in the driveway on Thanksgiving?! I’ve got say, I’m a little disappointed in these three adults. It was found that Aubry is a good dad and that’s why Berry wasn’t allowed sole custody, and anyway, why do you need to take away a guy’s kid? How selfish are you? You want to go play house with your new dude in Paris so you just throw the other guy away? Could you really not work out a schedule in which your child spends time both in the States and in France? Are you not a multimillionaire that had a baby with another millionaire and are now living with a new millionaire? Can you not afford a plane ride for your kid?

Grow up people. Grow up.



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Chris Brown is a Horrible Person, Exhibit #1,249

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I thought I was done writing about Chris Brown, but now I’m a resigned to the fact that I will never be done writing about Chris Brown. Sometimes I think he’s not even human; it’s like he just doesn’t qualify. Let’s do a quick recap of Chris Brown’s offenses thus far in no particular order:

• He beat the hell out of Rihanna
• Responded to people being upset that he was performing at the Grammy’s by saying, “”HATE ALL YOU WANT BECUZ I GOT A GRAMMY Now! That’s the ultimate F-CK OFF!”
• Began using the pickup line, “Can I get your number? I promise I won’t beat you.”
• He snatched a girls cell phone and said, “Bitch, you not gonna put this up on no website,” before driving off with the phone. E.g., he robbed a fan.
• After being asked about his domestic violence case on Good Morning America, he stormed off the stage and broke the window in his dressing room. Because he was MAD.
• Went on a homophobic Twitter rant.

This is just off the top of my head. That’s six completely disgusting things that took place. Admits all these things taking place he got 11.6 million of Twitter followers, Grammys and anyone that stood up to him or spoke out about what a gross person he is was forced to publicly apologize (see Usher for reference). Now, he’s at it again. Chris Brown tweeted, “I look old as f-ck! I’m only 23.” Comedy writer Jenny Johnson replied at him, “@chrisbrown I know. Being a worthless piece of shit can really age a person.”

Now, she is a comedy writer who wrote something funny to a 23-year-old man who beats on women, makes no apologies and thinks he did nothing wrong. He responded with, @JennyJohnsonHi5 Take them teeth out when u Sucking my d-ck HOE. (Classy, classy dude.) That prompted Johnson to say, @chrisbrown It’s ‘HO’ not ‘HOE’ you ignorant f-ck. (Totally accurate, he misspelled “ho” and he is an ignorant f-ck. It may not be his fault that he’s an ignorant f-ck. But he is.)

The feud went on with Chris Brown saying that he should fart on Johnson while she’s “giving him top,” and after that, she called him a flirt. He said he should shit on her. She said his mother must be proud and posted a picture of Rihanna’s beat-up face. Before canceling his Twitter account Brown replied with this gem of a tweet, “Just ask Rihanna if she mad??????”

I feel sick for so many reasons, one being Rihanna isn’t mad. In fact she recently posted a picture of a shirtless Brown, pants sagging in her bed moments after tweeted a topless picture of herself. My main reason for feeling sick over this is “Team Breezy.” When Brown deleted his Twitter his fans, “Team Breezy” went into high gear.

Here’s a few choice Tweets from “Team Breezy”:

@NellyBreezy: Do u wanna know what im gonna do now ? Im gonna kill that Jenny Johnson for making Chris delete his twitter

@NinaBreezy16: @ jennyjohnsonhi5 whore bitch. if chris kill you i will have more respect of him ..

@Trigga_breezy: @JennyJohnsonHi5 Stfu bitch honestly, i wanna sit on your face and stab 1235 needles in your eyeball, you son of a motherless goat. #bushpig

@_Haineko_: super mad right now if i see that jenny johnson i’ll stab her to death.

@LizzieLovesFood: @ jennyjohnsonhi5 who the f-ck are you? what the f-ck did you do with Chris Brown? GIIIIRL, I HOPE YOU KNOW.. I WILL KILL YOU.

@ItzBREEZY_ygm: @ jennyjohnsonhi5 thanks to you!!! Chris has deleted his twitter!!!! I can f-ckin kill you

@ASWNCUK: @JennyJohnsonHi5 come on Breezy !!! let’s kill this bitch out !! #Breezywantsthisbitchdead

@230Olianis: @JennyJohnsonHi5 I will kill to jenny johnson hateeeeeeee

@SmileCBrown: @JennyJohnsonHi5 Bitch please shut up,i want kill you! you don’t know nothing about Chris Brown and you are a piece of shit to #TeamBreezy

@shanicepaige: If he don’t ever come back to twitter I’ma hunt @ jennyjohnsonhi5 down and kill her :)

@TheChrisGoins: @JennyJohnsonHi5 kill yourself bitch! #EATAD-CK!!!!!

@YoungWhiteNigga: @JennyJohnsonHi5 I would not wish anyone death but I hope you die.

@GirlsDemSugar_: WHO DF is Jenny Johnson . I’ll kill you

@RockyKanePac: @JennyJohnsonHi5 I’M GONNA FUCKING RAPE & KILL YOU OLD WHORE F-CK

Now, the fact that all these people are coming to the defense of Chris Brown isn’t nearly as bad as them emulating his behavior. Telling someone you’re going to kill and rape them because a 23-year-old man who beats women left Twitter is … there’s not even a name for it. It’s repulsive and now? Well, I’ve lost all hope in humanity. Can people really not see themselves? Is there so little self-awareness in the world that this kind of behavior happens? Does hiding behind 140 characters and a stupid avatar really give you the right to talk to another human being that way?

Chris Brown is a plague. He’s a f-cking epidemic. He is everything that is currently wrong with the world. He needs to be stopped, all of this needs to be stop. This shouldn’t be allowed! Consequences! There needs to be consequences for actions. It’s so easy to fly off the handle and break windows, beat your girl, rob your fans, and not feel sorry about it when 11.6 million people tell you how f-cking great you are. Has the world gone mad?!!?



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Gay And Amish

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Unfortunately, there are lives in this world that are worse than growing up within the Amish community—but there shouldn’t be. As far as I am concerned, the Amish community is welcome to exist—out of people who, as adults, choose to go and live in that society. They should never be allowed to raise children in those conditions. No remotely modern technology, hard manual labor, and no exposure to outside ideas are only part of the Amish community. I have also read about the practice, which is at least partially true, of young Amish people’s teeth being pulled to be replaced with dentures (though it is not clear how widespread this practice may be).

The quite recent tradition of rumspringa, in which Amish young adults are allowed the option of freedom for a brief period, after which they must decide whether or not to return to the Amish lifestyle, does not even come close to addressing the damage of raising children in a situation so far-removed from an ideal situation.

There are a lot of problems with growing up in an Amish community, and the situation is particularly bad for girls and women, who are taught to submit to their male counterparts from very young ages and who are generally not educated about sex or sexual health. But right now, I want to talk about what it’s like to be gay and Amish. To begin with, you can look at this video of a Google Hangout and read the brief article beneath it. My favorite part is the anecdote about a young Amish gay man who, before finally working up the resolve to leave his home and community altogether, rode a horse and buggy to a gay club. You guys.

Among the Amish, there is not room for discussion when it comes to religious tenets, which govern the way that they live their everyday lives in great detail. So if you should choose to come out to your parents, there is only one option—departure*. The alternative is to do as many men and women in discriminatory societies have done for thousands of years and still do today: remain in the closet.

And while departure honestly sounds, to us, like the best thing for someone in the Amish community, especially someone who is gay, leaving the only home and family and community that you have ever known can be extremely difficult. Culture shock aside, the Amish have few skills that can help them in the real world.

This isn’t a situation unique to the Amish. Adult and child victims of domestic violence stay with their abusers because they are economically stable and are afraid of losing that stability for themselves, even though their living situation is a nightmare. But because the Amish are such a rigidly controlled and radically different society (one that is only decades away from reaching one million members in the United States and Canada), there is a much more dramatic difference in skills and education levels, and though there are support groups for those leaving behind their Amish lives, there aren’t enough.

No one should have to live a lie simply because he or she is gay. I mean, obviously. It’s difficult enough in mainstream US communities.

*I have even read that even the LDS (Mormons) are now telling their members to not respond with rejection—though still not with acceptance—if their child should come out to them. If it’s true, that’s a step in the right direction.



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