Lea T: Icon


Lea T is an Italian and Brazilian model and she is smoking hot. This girl has cheekbones for days! Her hair is has that beachy wave look, but you want to run your fingers through it…soft beachy waves…how the heck do they do that? Killer figure…amazing legs…basically I’m jealous of Lea T—but not just for her looks.

Recently, Lea T appeared in Benetton’s “Faces of Color” video campaign. The campaign focuses on unique looks and personalities around the world.  In the video Lea T says, “I say everything about myself; it’s too complicated to keep a secret. When you get inspired by someone … you lose a little bit of your personality … I try to be myself.”

How amazing is that? Just that sentence alone…come on you’re gonna look like that and be a rad person? Stop it. I can’t handle it. I could go on and on about how awesome this model is just based on those two sentences, but it was something she did in 2010 that makes those words so much more powerful.

In 2010 Lea T announced that she was transgendered. She went from male to female and became a successful model. I know someone who identifies strongly with Lea T and I’ve been through the struggles with them. I’ve seen first-hand what it takes to live this kind of life. It’s not easy. I love that Lea T is such a strong icon for this and that she is speaking out explaining it the best way I’ve ever heard, ““I’ve never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend … Even with surgery, I’ll never be a woman. And I will not be man. I’ll always be the middle… My father said I’ll always be his little black boy. That he’ll love me if I am man, woman or dog. My mother is very religious. She refuses, but says she will not leave me.”

There it is. In the middle, some people will accept it some won’t, some things you can do (like model) some things are more difficult (like dating), but if you get lucky you find those that love you for you and will refuse to leave you.



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Age Of Consent

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This is a controversial topic in just about every social circle. And it is kind of a difficult topic to write about without coming across as some kind of sexual predator, so I will just have to try my best and you will just have to do your best to not imagine me as Pedobear with really good hair.

Because I have amazing hair, you guys.

In the United States, you become a legal adult at 18. At 21, you can purchase and consume alcohol legally. At 25, you can rent a car. Being 18 means that you can vote, that you are no longer a minor (no longer essentially owned by your parents), and it also comes with a host of legal baggage and responsibilities.

One of those is that, in the space of a day, you have become separated by a legal wedge from your classmates. Turning 18 is often something that happens during your senior year. In states like California, they do not have an age of consent—an age at which a minor of a certain age is allowed to legally consent to sexual intercourse with a person at or above 18 years (various states impose various limits on what the adult’s age can be). As I understand it, if you turn 18 in California and continue to have sex with your 17-year-old boyfriend or girlfriend, you are committing …

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Colin Farrell Gives Great Advice and Wins My Heart

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I read a book a while ago written by one of Colin Farrell’s exes, and honestly, it was an excellent book. It was more about her than her actual relationship with Colin, but the chapters on him were definitely intense. All of the rumors about Colin Farrell kind of being unhinged? Definitely true. Most likely, anyway. The dude was weird. He wanted to stay locked up in his house for days with her and have no outside contact. He’d call all of the time when he was on location, and then one day, he just stopped. Later that week, she read about how he was expecting a baby with someone else. He’s had a four month marriage and a sex tape with a playmate, and he knocked up another chick on the sly …pretty typical for an actor.

Since that time, Colin has laid low, gone to rehab, had a baby with a disability and quietly made stellar movies. No one ever said he wasn’t talented (Phone Booth omitted). He’s gotten involved in charities and occasionally pops up talking about how his son changed his life.

Now he’s on the cover of Details Magazine giving, what I think, is the best advice I’ve ever heard from a man about a relationship, aside from Ice-T saying “Coco’s happiness trumps everything”, but that’s another article for another day.

In Details, Farrell’s quote is: “If I ever do get involved with somebody again, I will try as much as possible to shut my fucking mouth and stay fucking present. Love in action, man! Not love in fucking words.”

Be still my heart. Love in action, and not in words. Isn’t that what anyone is looking for? Words are so easy. I’m a writer … I know how easy it is to spew BS. I know that words don’t matter unless someone else puts meaning behind them. I can write about activism, but until I’m out holding a sign, it doesn’t matter. It’s the same with love.

You can tell me you love me, but if you don’t act the part…what am I going to believe? Your easy words or your hurtful, dismissive actions? We’re taught this from a very young age—it’s not what you say, it’s what you do.

I often think about people who don’t have the luxury of words. Then I launch into catastrophic thinking, because that is my favorite past time, and I think “What if everyone lost the ability to speak? Something is put in the water supply, or something and we all forget how to talk. Everything else is the same but we can’t speak, kind of like life before cell phones. Would I know you loved me? Would I be able to tell by the way you act, the priorities you have, the choices you make that I was important?”

We’re so technologically driven. If we’re not “official on Facebook” what are we? If I can look at your wall and not see a trace of me, do I even exist?

Be present, be there. Be willing. Shut up. Prove it. That’s all anyone wants, proof that when the music stops you’ll still be there. That when they fall you’re going to catch them, when you’re sitting in a cell they’re bailing you out. It’s easy to say you’ll be there … its showing up that’s hard.



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Women and Men (Men Are Dumb, But They Think Women Are Instead)

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There’s an article about how men are stupid spenders when women are around. And I can attest to this. I can’t count how many times I’ve come home to the newest high tech gadgets (that we don’t need), updates to systems, new toys, dog toys, etc. When he tells me he’s going to Sears or Guitar Center, I know to mentally deduct at least $300 from his bank account.

When we first met, I quickly found out that he never checks his bank balance. Never. He never knows off the top of his head how much money he has. This blew my mind, because I constantly know my bank balance and I even know how to hide money from myself to make sure I never get one of those terrifying “your account balance is low” emails.

According to the article, men spend to get women. The study was done in cities that have a higher male population than female. So men throw their money around as a way to increase their mating efforts. They buy you the designer shoes, they pay for dinner, they buy rounds of drinks and that should make you swoon. Once you’ve swooned you take over the checkbook. Makes sense, right? (Though they then complain about it, but that’s a story for another day.)

My friend Zack put it best. We were discussing how difficult girls can be and he said, “Yeah, but you keep us from living in our own filth, so that’s good.” Then I read this article and I realized he’s right and it proves the bigger picture.

A lot of my guy friends say, “Monogamy isn’t natural” or “relationships aren’t natural”. These are my single guy friends. My married or committed guy friends all say relationships are hard but worth it. I can’t tell you how many of my guy friends turned into thoughtful, productive, successful people because of the woman they ended up with.

I go back to yet another thing Zack told me (he’s single, ladies), “When a girl shines her sunlight on you there’s nothing better in the world.”  Look guys, you can talk all big and bad, you can be tough and heartless, and you can pretend you don’t need anybody but without us … you are all lost. Just admit it already, OK?



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