It’s Not An Affair…It’s Love

The title of this piece is the worst excuse I’ve ever heard for being selfish. “It’s not an affair, we’re in love”, no you’re just unable to control your biological urges you’re no better than an animal, apologize for setting back our evolution. I

Saying this is just another way of saying “I’m sorry, but it’s not my fault”. That’s not a real apology…and neither is this nonsense that Rielle Hunter, ex-mistress of John Edwards, is touting as a public apology. Hunter wrote a piece for Huffington Post saying:

“I am very sorry for my wrong, selfish behavior. Back in 2006, I did not think about the scope of my actions, how my falling in love with John Edwards, and acting on that love, could hurt so many people. I hurt Elizabeth and her kids. I hurt her family. I hurt John’s family. I hurt people that knew Elizabeth. I hurt people who didn’t know Elizabeth but loved her from afar. I hurt people who gave their hard earned dollars to a campaign — a cause they believed in. I hurt people who are married and believe in marriage.”

So, it was love that she was acting on? Not lust? Not attraction? Not greed? Cause I’m pretty sure she made a pretty penny off of this affair. She wrote a book…and oh, by the way this apology came while promoting said book.

“I fell in love with John Edwards and wanted to be with him and that desire trumped everything else. And then instead of apologizing when I should have, I went on to hurt more people by writing a book,”

She forgot to add, “and continue to hurt her surviving friends and family by putting a death grip on my 15 minutes of fame. “One of my favorite quotes is this one:

“My publisher came up with the idea of me going through my book and annotating all of my regrets and mistakes,”

Maybe that’s because your book is selling for $1.77 on Amazon and they needed another PR scheme.

This woman is selfish and disgusting. I’m so sick of people who have affairs claiming it was “love” no it was your hormones and if 13-year-old kids are expected to control them than so should middle aged adults.

Take some responsibility for your actions.

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Being Attracted

There are countless reasons to be attracted to someone. A plethora, really. Whatever floats your boat, it is out there and there is probably even dating sites and bar scenes dedicated to it.

Psychologically, we defer to symmetry. The more symmetrical a person’s face is, the more we are supposed to find them attractive. This lack of mathematical flaws makes them more genetically appealing. Then, with this concept of symmetry and beauty, comes the Halo Effect, stating that the more attractive an individual is, the better of a person that others will judge the individual as being with all other traits. Think you are being judged on how you look? You are. Cultural standards also come into play. It all adds up into one swirling and befuddling ball of what constitutes attractiveness.

Who really knows what creates our tastes? Some people have very specific types of individuals that they date. Others apparently like to think outside the box and have no set type at all. I like nerdy boys. I also solemnly swear to never date someone for their resume.

I wonder what makes us tick. How do dating types or even fetishes come about in a person? As our sexualities develop across the lifespan, we are also constantly changing in every other way. Suddenly we discover that bad boys don’t treat us well, or that the porn industry has something to offer, and *BAM* there is a new faucet to your personality and likings.

Other dating related topics we can discuss… deal breakers! I will not date you if you are disrespectful to the waitress or steal her pen. Or if you are a disrespectful person in general. The MTV show Friend Zone makes me want to cry. My heart goes out to every person who has ever tried to bridge that gap. Which is basically all of us. Let us do away with being lumped into categories of people, including datability zones. Youch. Just thinking about trying to confess hidden feelings makes me glad I am a woman. Although there are many negatives to being a female in this world, getting a date is not one of them.

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Lea T: Icon

Lea T is an Italian and Brazilian model and she is smoking hot. This girl has cheekbones for days! Her hair is has that beachy wave look, but you want to run your fingers through it…soft beachy waves…how the heck do they do that? Killer figure…amazing legs…basically I’m jealous of Lea T—but not just for her looks.

Recently, Lea T appeared in Benetton’s “Faces of Color” video campaign. The campaign focuses on unique looks and personalities around the world.  In the video Lea T says, “I say everything about myself; it’s too complicated to keep a secret. When you get inspired by someone … you lose a little bit of your personality … I try to be myself.”

How amazing is that? Just that sentence alone…come on you’re gonna look like that and be a rad person? Stop it. I can’t handle it. I could go on and on about how awesome this model is just based on those two sentences, but it was something she did in 2010 that makes those words so much more powerful.

In 2010 Lea T announced that she was transgendered. She went from male to female and became a successful model. I know someone who identifies strongly with Lea T and I’ve been through the struggles with them. I’ve seen first-hand what it takes to live this kind of life. It’s not easy. I love that Lea T is such a strong icon for this and that she is speaking out explaining it the best way I’ve ever heard, ““I’ve never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend … Even with surgery, I’ll never be a woman. And I will not be man. I’ll always be the middle… My father said I’ll always be his little black boy. That he’ll love me if I am man, woman or dog. My mother is very religious. She refuses, but says she will not leave me.”

There it is. In the middle, some people will accept it some won’t, some things you can do (like model) some things are more difficult (like dating), but if you get lucky you find those that love you for you and will refuse to leave you.

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Age Of Consent

photo of statutory rape pictures
This is a controversial topic in just about every social circle. And it is kind of a difficult topic to write about without coming across as some kind of sexual predator, so I will just have to try my best and you will just have to do your best to not imagine me as Pedobear with really good hair.

Because I have amazing hair, you guys.

In the United States, you become a legal adult at 18. At 21, you can purchase and consume alcohol legally. At 25, you can rent a car. Being 18 means that you can vote, that you are no longer a minor (no longer essentially owned by your parents), and it also comes with a host of legal baggage and responsibilities.

One of those is that, in the space of a day, you have become separated by a legal wedge from your classmates. Turning 18 is often something that happens during your senior year. In states like California, they do not have an age of consent—an age at which a minor of a certain age is allowed to legally consent to sexual intercourse with a person at or above 18 years (various states impose various limits on what the adult’s age can be). As I understand it, if you turn 18 in California and continue to have sex with your 17-year-old boyfriend or girlfriend, you are committing …

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