“All gay guys are sluts and lesbians are obsessed with commitment.”
Sometimes the first stereotype is used as an attack on the gay community (which is bad, but not as bad as the absurd: “Bisexuals are just really slutty,” line). “Commitment-obsessed” is a much gentler criticism, and less likely to be brought up by conservative pundits.
These are more likely to be brought up by comedians. And I’m not saying that they shouldn’t be—I mean, comedians should joke about almost* everything. I mean, if Joan Rivers jokes: “What do lesbians bring for their second date? A moving van,” I’m not going to accuse her of being anti-gay or homophobic or fostering anti-gay ideas. For one thing, Joan Rivers has been a friend to the gay community for much longer than I have been alive. But also, these jokes are mostly harmless.
In any event, “gay men are slutty,” statements come from the idea that gay men like to have lots of sex, and perhaps with different or multiple partners at different times.
This stereotype is not accurate. There are plenty of gay people who do not have high sex drives, or who treasure monogamy (I don’t know why, but they exist, and in no small numbers). But more importantly, this could be simplified by saying that: “Men are slutty. Men like to have sex. They think about sex all of the time. Men would like to have sex with lots of different partners—sometimes multiple partners at once.”
And that works for straight men just as well. Again, it’s not accurate—it’s a stereotype. In the world of stereotypes, men are slutty (whether they’re after women or men or both). In the world of stereotypes, women crave commitment and monogamy and want to move in together because they are so in love with domestic partnership and the idea of true love—whether with a man or with a woman.
Now, I can tell you with even greater confidence that there are plenty of women who are not after commitment. Or monogamy. Or cohabitation. Strong, empowered women, gay or straight, who treasure their independence (including living in their own place or at least not living with a sexual partner) and enjoy a variety of sexual partners.
So, you know, whenever you hear stereotypes, don’t just remember that stereotypes are often inaccurate. Remember that they may describe a larger group than just the minority. Though I’m probably preaching to the choir, here.
*When it comes to comedy, I only take exception to instances in which a comedian makes an “argument” in stand-up that might actually encourage people to commit violent acts. Jokes that perpetuate the notion that women are objects (anything that encourages rape culture) are a prime example. Also, less frequently, comedians will make very poor-taste “comedic” arguments in favor of domestic violence (particularly child-abuse—like the never-funny Carlos Mencia’s “White People: Beat Your Kids” segment). Just because something is upsetting does not mean that it should be off-topic for comedy. They just need to not encourage violence.
