A Healthy Father-Daughter Relationship


Sissy’s Magical Ponycorn Adventure is a children’s flash game that takes around five minutes to play which doesn’t sound too out of the ordinary, until I mention that the words and art for this flash game were done by the game’s target audience, a five year old girl.

Cassie Creighton and her dad, Ryan Henson Creighton, created Sissy’s Magical Pony Corn Adventure. What started out as a simple “father daughter project” turned phenomenon. The game got a lot of attention and ended up giving a nice boost to Cassie’s college fund. But the bigger picture, according to Ryan, was reforming children’s technology education.

The little game that could…did. Sissy’s Magical Ponycorn Adventure landed Ryan and Cassie a TED talk. Little Cassie, six-years-old strolls out onto the TED stage with her Father and very well spoken describes her game. Including what they used to make the game, “a red laptop, a big box of crayons, a stack of paper, a microphone and a bunch of ponies so I knew how to do draw a pony.”

The small picture is that a five-year-old and her dad create a game that gets them money and a TED talk. The bigger picture, to me, is that a dad let his daughter draw a world and he turned it into a reality.

The father daughter relationship gets a lot of attention. Father’s can really mess up their kids. Every time I see a girl wearing a skirt that doesn’t even cover her vagina I always shake my head and think, “Step it up, Dads”. But here is a Dad that’s doing it right. He let his daughter be creative, he joined in her world, and he let her lead. He also showed her a way to take her creativity and turn it into something real. Something tangible.

So often I hear parents tell their kids to, “Reach for the stars”. That’s fine, that’s wonderful. But you need to show them how. Sometimes the stars can seem really far away, and if no one every showed you that you can use this kind of ladder to get to them…how would you know? Too often I hear the time withered phrase, “do as I say, not as I do”. I think it’s time we change that. I think it’s time that parents lead by example.

There is a really strong theory in psychology: you only understand your own reality. Parents create their kids reality and the kids continue to populate it. In theory, if you show your kid that you can draw your own ladder and reach the stars whose to say they won’t invent a new way to succeed. To grow. To break the cycle.



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Possible Link Between Childhood Spanking and Mental Illness?

Cartoon of Dennis the Menace Being Spanked
According to the medical journal Pediatrics, there appears to be a link between childhood spanking and adult mental illness … or at least that’s the headline making the rounds.  (And, in case you can’t tell from my tone here, I’m calling shenanigans on this one)

From Yahoo:

Researchers examined data from more than 34,000 adults and found that being spanked significantly increased the risk of developing mental health issues as adults. According to their results, corporal punishment is associated with mood disorders, including depression and anxiety, as well as personality disorders and alcohol and drug abuse. They estimate that as much as 7 percent of adult mental illness may be attributable to childhood physical punishment, including slapping, shoving, grabbing, and hitting.

I guess my concern is, what exactly is the definition of “spanking” we’re working with here?

I know very few adults, both in my age group and on either end of it, that were not spanked as children at one point or another.  I personally was spanked pretty consistently (which should probably have demonstrated to my parents how ineffective beating on your kid’s butt is as punishment, but that’s a different story), and I don’t think being spanked as a child had any impact on the adult I am whatsoever.

When you get into the stuff that goes beyond spanking, though, the punching and the kicking and the throwing down stairs and smashing little kids into walls, I’m sure the correlation exists.  It’s just the way the reporting out of the study is spun in terms of its title that pisses me off, I guess.

And the fact that it’s pretty much an outrageous attempt to control parenting.

Before I go any further, I feel like I need to state that I have never spanked either of my children.  This has nothing to do with any sort of noble mindset or belief that it’ll screw them up or anything, but more because I have found that either logical consequences (you hit a kid with a baseball bat, so we’re canceling your birthday party) or revoking privileges are far more effective.  I mean, if she thinks her iPhone is at stake, my older daughter will do pretty much anything I ask.

The thing is, though, establishing the idea of logical consequences and revoking privileges is something that needs to be started at …

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Refreshing Story of the Week: Mother Lets Son, Dylan Kilodavis, Wear ‘Princess Dresses’

photo of dylan in a princess dress pictures

I’ve been feeling a significant loss of faith for humanity lately for a number of reasons that don’t even include anonymous internet bashing.

But, what’s this? A spark of light in the darkness in the form of Cheryl Kilodavis?

The aforementioned Mrs. Kilodavis is a Seattle resident and mother of five-year-old Dyson Kilodavis, who has consistently insisted that he be allowed to wear “dresses worthy of a Disney princess.”

You hear stories about kids wanting to wear clothing inconsistent with their gender binary pretty often, but what makes Dyson’s story stand out is that his mother didn’t view him as sick or damaged, but realized that there was absolutely nothing wrong with it.

The Daily Mail reports that Mrs. Kilodavis was at first concerned that her son’s tendency to wear dresses would …

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Katie Roiphe Might Have Gotten It Right This Time About Parenting

photo of little boys playing by the river in the dirt picture photgraphs

In the feminist community, Katie Roiphe is known for a number of things. She’s one of several famous mother-daughter feminist pairs (her mother is Anne Roiphe, the writer). She wrote The Morning After: Sex, Fear and Feminism, an extremely controversial book which centered around the idea that date rape is partially the victim’s responsibility. And in her recent years, she’s done what many feminists do as they grow older: move from writing about sex to writing about babies, and all that comes with them. So it was a natural progression for her to pen her latest essay, where Roiphe wonders if our desire to parent perfectly is causing a potentially horrible generation of kids.

Roiphe believes that her generation has a “common fantasy: that we can control and perfect our children’s environment. And lurking somewhere behind this strange and hopeless desire to create a perfect environment lies the even stranger and more hopeless idea of creating the perfect child.” She brings up a variety of funny and relatable examples, from parents who do their children’s homework, to those who intently monitor their own eating habits while pregnant for fear of negatively affecting the genes of their future offspring. In fact, her best point is when she brings up an article she read while pregnant, on a study done that pointed …

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