One Nation, Under Celebrity

A few years ago, when Tina Fey was still on Weekend Update, she did a story about how the education secretary was doing a study on why girls weren’t pursuing careers in math and science. Tina Fey responded with, “Why?” she stood up and continued, “When you got an ass like this you don’t hide it in a lab.”

Now, it’s a joke…and a damn funny one…but when I saw it as a gif on tumblr, I realized how true it is. Where most countries and cultures value succeeding in business and academia…America seems to value succeeding in being vapid.

We don’t care that we’re last among developed countries for education and healthcare, or that most high school students can’t located a foreign country on a map. As long as they look good and can tell you the full name of the newest Kardashian baby….they’re on the right path.

Our government shut down. The House Republican’s held us hostage because of their temper tantrum over ‘Obamacare’ and so 19,000 kids couldn’t go to head start, NASA can’t tell us if an asteroid is headed toward Earth, but their six figure salaries are getting paid and do you know what was trending on Twitter while this was going on? I’ll tell you because social media is my day job:
Congress
New York
#governmentshutdown
#SoundCloud
#music
#momtexts
Chicago
#shutdown
Netflix
Target

I scrolled 3 hours back under the #governementshutdown hashtag and didn’t find a single non news corporation tweet. People just aren’t talking about it. #Obamacare hashtag is snarky jokes mostly by second-rate celebs. Why isn’t there a real conversation on this? This is serious. When Australia had a government shut down the Queen fired parliament. We make jokes?

Why don’t we value information? Why do we buy into this b.s? Why don’t we call these assholes on their lies and manipulations? Why don’t we stand up and say, “You are not making another dime until you put on your big boy pants and fix this mess”? Why? Oh, I know…because Kim Kardashian went out in a really ugly dress and we need to discuss that.



You Might Also Like ...

I’m Done With Lindsay Lohan, We All Need To Be Done With Lindsay Lohan


There are all these stories about Lindsay Lohan admitting she’s an addict. Saying she only snorted cocaine so she could drink more. That she drank to cope. That she didn’t listen to her family when they said to move home. How she can make a come back and get her career back on track. Blah, blah, blah.

Here’s the problem I’m having with all of this. She’s not a good actress. She landed SNL, and the Canyons, and the other B.S she’s done lately because of her train wreck lifestyle. But she fails on screen. She has that very “Disney Actress” way of delivering her lines.

This again, is a testament to how we treat celebrity. We just wanted to watch her fall—no one is interested in her comeback. It’s not the nicest thing to admit but I don’t really care. She’s a sideshow. She a no talent, sideshow.

Is anyone really expecting a career from her? Really? She is not the Robert Downey Jr. of her generation—she is the Corey Feldman of her generation. We should all do the kind thing and stop paying any attention to her. Just let her fade into the darkness. We’d all be better off and so would she.



You Might Also Like ...

Afraid to Look Smart?

I’ve always thought pin-up pictures, while pretty, were extremely awkward. Who stands like that? But even I can recognize the appeal to these positions. I never thought them to be sexiest in nature—I mean; I know cheesecake poses are for locker doors and bedroom walls…but I don’t know why it just never occurred to me that these poses make us look ridiculous.

It was just the sign of the times to me. The 1950’s were a ridiculous time. Naturally, models posed ridiculously. But with this influx of interest into the “vintage” eras these cheesecake poses are returning. You see it as Jessica Simpson poses in panties while Swifering on the cover of a magazine. That shot…I mean; all I see is legs and ass which is super flattering for women. It’s a flattering pose, right?

Then I saw this flikr post these poses are ridiculous. They are subservient. And no man would ever subject himself to this…unless it was to make a point. Look at them–these poses make no sense unless you’re highlighting tits and ass and showing that women are simple pretty little things available for your posing (molding).

This comes on the heels of the “Blurred Lines” video, Ashton Kutcher—a man that made millions playing dumb—saying smart is sexy, and another video featuring female sports reporters dancing around their studio and fumbling a football. What is it about women that we let our brains take a backseat to our boobs?

Why are we afraid to look smart? Maybe it’s because the smart girl is always depicted as “nerdy”. Ill-fitted clothes, big glasses, no make-up, no sex appeal. Guys, as dumb and crappy as Ashton Kutcher is–he’s not wrong–smart is sexy. It’s the sexiest you can be.



You Might Also Like ...

I Don’t Care About Beyonce’s Hair

I love Beyonce. I get it, she’s Queen Bey. I am as obsessed with her as the next girl—but I found it really excessive that the Internet blew up over her haircut. Guys, it’s a pixie cut—she’s a new mom, new mom’s cut their hair.

 

It’s not the first time we’ve seen her in a pixie cut either—she rocked a wig that looked just like the new haircut. This is not new and it’s certainly not news. I get that we live in a celeb obsessed culture but what is the point? Why do we care that she doesn’t have a weave anymore?

 

I work in entertainment and we covered a haircut. I read comments of people saying they were crying and going to kill themselves over a haircut. It’s not even their hair. It’s not even their friend’s hair. Is our identity really that lost?

 

I’m guilty of it too, I obsess that my hair isn’t shiny and smooth enough, I’m not fashionable enough. Then I have these moments of clarity when I think “enough for what?” What am I trying to do? Of course I’m not on par with Beyonce—I don’t have the money to have my done by professionals every single day.

 

Are we obsessed because we’ll never measure up and we like feeling like less?



You Might Also Like ...