People magazine can say she’s the most beautiful woman all they want…they are full of it. Gwyneth Paltrow is the biggest piece of crap. Let’s give it up to Chris Martin who has been married to that for ten years. Wow. He must be a glutton. Gwyneth has stopped being an actress and has begun (trying to be) a life guru. She offers must haves for spring at $450,000 and tells you your diet sucks. Here are some lovely quotes from “The Goop” (that’s her nickname and blog—The Goop):
“I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.”—Seriously?! You were born rich!
I’m just a normal mother with the same struggles as any other mother who’s trying to do everything at once and trying to be a wife and maintain a relationship. There’s absolutely nothing perfect about my life, but I just try hard.”-Stop it. You have a nanny, an estate in London, you’re bi-coastal, you have more money than God your kids have it a lot more perfect than 1 in 4 kids in America WHO LIVES IN POVERTY AND SUFFERS FROM HUNGER.
“[on her kids nanny] She’s French, so she’s teaching them French, and their previous nanny was Spanish, so they’re fluent in Spanish.”—But you’re just a normal mother.
“I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.”- Clearly, this woman doesn’t understand the finer things in life like Cheez Whiz.
“Every woman can make time [to work out] — every woman — and you can do it with your baby in the room. There have been countless times where I’ve worked out with my kids crawling around all over the place. You just make it work.”- Unless you work 40+ hours a week then come home to make dinner, check homework, clean the house…ugh, she is the worst.
“I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup.”- Someone get that kid a cup-a-soup!
“Beauty fades! I just turned 29, so I probably don’t have that many good years left in me.”- I hate you.
“When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, ‘No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris?’”- There are no words.
“We have great dinner parties at which everyone sits around talking about politics, history, art, and literature — all this peppered with really funny jokes. But back in America, I was at a party and a girl looked at me and said, ‘Oh, my God! Are those Juicy jeans that you’re wearing?’ and I thought, I can’t stay here. I have to get back to Europe.”- Then go back to Europe and STFU!
“Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidneys. I’m so tired.”- Sorry, what?
“I think they’re the idiot people and I’m the normal person. But I don’t really go to parties where … I don’t really have drunk friends. My friends are kind of adult; they have a drink. But they hold their liquor. I think it’s incredibly embarrassing when people are drunk. It just looks so ridiculous. I find it very degrading. I think, ooh, you’re really degrading yourself right now, to be this pissed out in public.”-She is evil and she must be destroyed. She’s just so judgmental!
“I think that women, especially women in my job, come to me because they know I’m very loving and nonjudgmental and I’m not competitive, and I’ve been through a lot.”—Liar. You big fat liar with no self-awareness. WHY DO I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU!?