Another Rich White Man Wants To Give You Advice About Your Vagina

Roman Polanski, for those of you who don’t know, is a very famous director with a very gross past. Firstly, his family suffered in a concentration camp, then his wife was murdered by the Manson family, and then he raped a 13 year-old-girl. That all happened.

I never liked Polanski because of the way he treated his late wife, Sharon Tate, and then he raped a little girl (in my boo Jack Nicholson’s house) so I really didn’t like him. Then I watched his documentary  and I was like, “okay maybe—just maybe I gave this guy a hard time” I mean, even his rape victim has come and said, “Meh” over it all. Or more accurately, “Well it was, because I was 13. But he didn’t mean to hurt me, he thought it was all right and I was just scared and it was bad. But it wasn’t as bad as grand jury testimony, it wasn’t as bad as having my sons traumatized by paparazzi. You shouldn’t be damaged more by the court than by the crime.” She left out the part about how it was also rape because he drugged her–but minor details, am I right?

After reading that I felt a little better about thinking Polanski got a raw deal in life. Then I watched some Sharon Tate/Manson documentary in which someone spoke about how Polanski never wanted kids but that’s all Sharon wanted. She wanted a baby and Roman was angry when she became pregnant. He even left her alone—a lot, not wanting to be near her. Now he has two children. Kind of a dick move.  Needless to say Polanski is walking a fine line with me—but now he’s crossed it.

“I think it’s a pity that now offering flowers to a lady becomes indecent … That’s how I feel about it. I think that trying to level the genders is purely idiotic. I think it’s a result of, like everything else and I will be Marxist here, of progress in medicine and these are outcomes of it. I think that the Pill has changed greatly the woman of our times, masculinized her … that chases away the romance from our lives and that’s a great pity.”

Are you f***ing kidding me? The Pill stops you from giving flowers? What does that even mean?!!? And the Pill does not “masculinize” you—unless you mean it gives women the power when it comes to sex. Oh, that’s what he means? F*ck you, Polanski. Without birth control I am even more of a crazy b*tch and I have excruciating pain to go with it. YOU LIVE WITH THAT EVERY MONTH. Yes, I know he’s dealt with pain but all the things I listed above do not happen to him every month, and yes I just compared my period to the murder of his wife—but you know what he wasn’t there because he didn’t even care enough to be with his 8 month pregnant wife so I doubt it hurt that much. It was probably more of an inconvenience because he is a cold bastard. He also didn’t care about raping a child because he just fled to Europe so he wouldn’t have to be bothered with it.

Shut up, shut up, shut up. What is this fad with old white men talking about women’s rights like they know? YOU DON’T KNOW SO SHUT UP!

That’s it, I am never watching Rosemary’s Baby ever again.



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Surprise! Expanded Access To Birth-Control Causes NYC Teen Pregnancy Rate To Plummet

When your city’s teen pregnancy rate drops by a few percentage points, that’s fairly normal. Just like announcing: “I’ve lost two pounds!” does not really mean anything because your body’s weight fluctuates by a couple of pounds every day.

In the past ten years, the NYC teen pregnancy rate has dropped by twenty-seven percent. That is not happenstance. That is is the result of an effective program. Specifically, an effective program of working to give New York City teens access to birth-control, including Plan B. Giving access like this reinforces the idea in teens that pregnancy is a genuine risk while making birth-control convenient to acquire, increasing the chances that teenagers can be prepared for whenever they do have sex.

This should be a program that is available for everyone, everywhere, but especially to teenagers. Everywhere. It will be a while before that happens (possibly to the point at which new birth-control methods have made current ones antiquated), because a lot of people are ridiculous and because one of the worst parts of living in a democracy is that everyone gets a say.

Now, NYC’s program is not flawless. Latino and black teen girls are still much more likely than their white counterparts to become pregnant as a teenager. That, of course, is not directly a result of race, but a result of poverty (which still has large racial correlations, unfortunately). That is something that needs to be addressed.

But while New York City’s teen pregnancy rate is still higher than the national average, the degree to which it has plummeted during the past decade makes me very hopeful that other cities (and, dare I suggest, even non-cities?) will begin implementing similar programs. Remember all of that nonsense funding that states received during the Bush years to teach abstinence-only programs instead of comprehensive sex education? That’s what I had to put up with in high school. How wonderful would it be if that amount of funding could go to states and individual school districts to give all of their students easy access to birth-control with accompanying education?



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Blocked Birth Control

photo of birth control pill pictures
It happened, “a federal judge temporarily prevented the Obama administration from forcing a Christian publishing company to provide its employees with certain contraceptives under the new health-care law.” Tyndale House Publishers wants to be able to dictate what contraceptives they will and will not cover. Tyndale says it provides its 260 employees with coverage for some contraceptives.
Tyndale got the injunction because they do not want to provide employees with contraceptives that they feel equates with abortion. The contraceptives at the center of this controversy are: Plan B and intrauterine devices.

The problem with saying that these devices are equal to abortion is…well it’s bullshit. An abortion is ending a pregnancy, neither Plan B or IUDs can do this. If a woman is already pregnant Plan B does nothing. Not one single thing. What it does do is prevent ovulation or fertilization of an egg. Sorry, Christian right and “pro-lifers” but the medical definition is still: “pregnancy does not begin until a fertilized egg implants itself into the wall of the uterus”.

Plan B can prevent fertilized eggs from attaching to the uterus…so it prevents pregnancy it does not abort a pregnancy. IUDs work by block sperm like a diaphragm, but to Tyndale this is abortion.

Matthew S. Bowman, a lawyer for Alliance Defending Freedom, which brought the suit on behalf of Tyndale, said in an e-mail that Bible publishers “should be free to do business according to the book that they publish. The Obama administration is not entitled to disregard religious freedom.” To that end Tyndale is not entitled to disregard women’s rights and freedom of choice.



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New Study Finds Birth Control Prevents Pregnancy, I Find I’m Surprised

photo of birth control pictures
During this election there has been a lot of talk about women’s rights and women’s health and very little talk about common sense. According to “The Contraceptive Choice Project”, a new study outlined in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology, if women have access to birth control they won’t have an unwanted pregnancy. Shocking, I know—but if a woman doesn’t have an unwanted pregnancy that means she doesn’t have an abortion and it also means that the teen mom rate goes down (sorry MTV).

This study tracked over “9,000 women in St. Louis and gave a range of free birth control options to poor and uninsured women (those at the greatest risk for an unplanned pregnancy) between 2007 and 2011”. These options included implanted forms of birth control and lead to lower abortion rates 4.4 compared to 7.5 abortions per 1,000 women in the study. The Obstetrics & Gynecology study also predicted “that one abortion could be prevented for every 79 to 137 women being given free contraception.”

I also get free birth control because I don’t currently have health insurance. For the first time in my life I don’t have health insurance and I’ve found a doctor (read as saint) that looks out for my needs. I need birth control for medical reasons not just sexual protection reasons…yet another issue that the Republican’s overlook. If you take away my right to my birth control, in order to keep me from appearing whorish (cause only whores need contraceptive, since we live in 1922), I will very likely lose my job and my relationship. I have such crippling pain and severe mood swings without this medication that I can’t get out of bed. If I do get out of bed it’s very probably I will be a raving lunatic and no one will be able to stand me. Trust me this has happened, I’ve lost friends because of my period, where were you on that one, Judy Blume?

The point is now there is medical proof that birth control is not sanctioned by the devil, it does not mean you’re a classless two bit hussy, it means you are a grown woman and you are taking your life in your own hands. This shouldn’t be a government issue – this is a health issue that should be discussed between someone with a vagina and someone with a medical degree. Before all the “Planned Parenthood is a government-funded programmers” come at me, no it’s not. It’s partly funded by the government, but it’s mostly funded by donations. It does not spend most of its time doing abortions, either – it spends most of it’s time preventing them and screening women for disease and cancer … yes, please hurry and shut that practice down! What a waste of money preventative care is! Save us from healthcare that will help our women, keep them safe, and keep unwanted pregnancies from happening!

See how silly that last sentence is? See how ridiculous it is to think that anyone has a right to control anyone else’s health? Let’s try something new. Let’s try and make decisions on facts and science not religion, morals, and heresy shall we?



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