F**K The Patriarchy

I’ve never enjoyed the idea of a sorority or frat. I have very strong opinions about them. Shocking, I know. Mainly, I find the idea of buying friend repulsive and the people that feel the need to be part of these organizations pathetic. I’ve never heard of a frat or sorority doing good…I do hear about the pressure to hook-up, get drunk, and be fun. Maybe that’s why I have such a low opinion. I’m not a big drinker, I think promiscuous sex is far too germ filled to be fun, and I’m generally an un-fun person.

When I picture a “frat boy” I picture a guy, who thinks too highly of himself. A guy who has it really easy. Everything just comes to him, he never works for everything and therefore he feels he is entitled. This opinion is confirmed every time an email from a frat house is leaked. Aren’t we lucky, today is that day!

“Luring your Rapebait” is the subject of this Georgia Tech fraternity email. Now, in the email the person does say “NO RAPING” because that needs to be said…of course. But he also says, “You can make-out with her (tongue on tongue), you can stick your hand up her shirt (not right away though), you can go for a butt grab (outside or inside the shirts), or use your imagination.” Apparently, this douchelord can’t use his imagination to see that putting your hand up a girls skirt AT ANY TIME is sexual assault  She can put your hand there…but you cannot. See the difference, dirt bag?

When I read things like this I get so angry. I’m angry that men behave this way. I’m angry that girls fall for this horseshit. I’m angry that I live in a world where men feel they are entitled to my body. It angers me that we live in a patriarchal society that not only says this behavior is okay, they say it’s funny. It’s pop culture.

Can we send a mass email letting all men know that women are not your prey. We are not your property. We are not yours. We are human and we are entitled to some freaking respect.

Here’s the email in full. If you can get through the grammer (it’s worse than mine!) and spelling mistakes, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments.

Alright chods, some of you could use some help on how to mack and succeed at parties. Mostly pledges do, but some bros could use a review. For anytime throughout the party… If you are standing by yourself at any point, YOU ARE OUTTA HERE!!! If you are talking to a brother of your pledge brothers when there are girls just standing around, YOU ARE OUTTA HERE!!!

Ok, if it is before midnight… A group of girls is standing around, grab a bro or pledge bro and go talk to them. First, introduce yourself and get their name, ask if they are having a good time, and then ask if they want anything to drink. If they say yes, walk them to the bar and tell them what we have to drink. If they say no and they look like they are in a sorority, ask them if they are in a sorority (DUH). If not, choose one of the following: where are you living, where are you from, have you been here before, how are classes going, or where all have you been tonight. Then proceed to have a conversation. IF THEY ARE HAMMERED AT ANY POINT BEFORE MIDNIGHT, JUST SKIP THE CHIT CHAT AND GO DANCE.

Midnight or after, if you have been talking for awhile and they’ve had a couple drinks, ask if they want to dance. If you see an untalked to group or a solo girl, go up to her and ask if she wants anything to drink. If she says yes, get her a drink and then ask if she wants to dance. If she says no, ask her to dance. DANCING IS FUN!!!!! Always try to dance. If she does not want to dance and is with friends, say “aw thats no fun” (or something like that) and then ask one of her friends.

Here is how to dance: Grab them on the hips with your 2 hands and then let them grind against your dick. After that slowly alternate between just putting your hand across their stomach, but make sure don’t to go to high (keep it under the boob) or too low(dont try to finger her… yet). After a song, start putting your cheek on the side of her cheek. ALWAYS USE YOUR HANDS OR ARMS TO GUIDE THEIR DANCING in order to maximize your pleasure. If she starts putting her hair over her ear, THAT MEANS SHE WANTS A KISS. Therefore, try to give her a kiss on the cheek. They usually like that and nothing really should ebcome of it. In the case, go for the neck kiss. If for some reason they aren’t down for a cheek kiss, just dance through it or say you are going to get another drink and see if they want one. And then repeat from the beginning.

If the party is going good (a.k.a. there are a lot of open girls) try to escalate cause it’s awesome. Here is how to escalate: Try to twist her hips around to face you and dance front to front. FROM THERE THE OPTIONS ARE UNLIMITED! You can make-out with her (tongue on tongue), you can stick your hand up her shirt (not right away though), you can go for a butt grab (outside or inside the shirts), or use your imagination. ALWAYS START WITH THE MAKING OUT!!!! NO RAPING.

A short guide consist of the 7 E’s of HOOKING UP! 1. Encounter (spot a girl or group of girls) 2. Engage (go up and talk to them) 3. Escalate (ask them to dance, or ask them to go up to your room or find a couch, depending on what kind of party) 4. Erection (GET HARD) 5. Excavate (should be self-explanatory) 6. Ejaculate (should also be self explanatory) 7. Expunge (send them out of your room and on their way out when you are finished. IF ANYTHING EVER FAILS, GO GET MORE ALCOHOL. I want to see everyone succeed at the next couple parties.

In luring rapebait,
[name redacted].



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Women have it pretty rough in 2013, imagine what it was like in 1953. These recent protests of women taking to the street telling the government to get out of their vagina? Well, only sluts would need abortions and only indecent women would talk about or support it. It’s best you die in a back alley from a botched hanger job. Really, women…get it the F together. A pretty dress and nice handbag does not mean a good life.



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Now, it’s a joke…and a damn funny one…but when I saw it as a gif on tumblr, I realized how true it is. Where most countries and cultures value succeeding in business and academia…America seems to value succeeding in being vapid.

We don’t care that we’re last among developed countries for education and healthcare, or that most high school students can’t located a foreign country on a map. As long as they look good and can tell you the full name of the newest Kardashian baby….they’re on the right path.

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Congress
New York
#governmentshutdown
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Chicago
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Netflix
Target

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