Catch Up

We’ve got to catch up with the times. Our laws do more harm than good because they’re stuck decades behind us. I am so sick of hearing about how overcrowded prisons and jails are when I know that the majority of people housed in them are causalities from “the war on drugs”. People that had some weed on them, or coke serving five years.

There are no laws for cyber bullying, the way the current law is written a clever lawyer can manipulate it to get someone who bullies a kid into killing themselves off scott-free. Recently, a girl was charged with statutory rape. She was in a consensual relationship with another girl—with a two year age difference. They started when they were 17 and 15—the 15 year-old has homophobic parents and did not want her to be dating a girl so the moment that her girlfriend turned 18 they pressed charges. Now, this 18 year-old, whose only crime was loving someone, is facing 15 years in prison and having to register as a sex offender. The law needs to catch up. This world needs to catch up.

Then I read about a transgender woman who still has her penis, but for all other intents and purposes is female was arrested. That’s fine, if she was doing something wrong arrest her—but this woman was housed with men. This woman with breasts, and full lips, and platinum hair was forced to be housed with men. Safety issue, much?

This world—this world is full of different people and different experiences and one blanket law protects no one.  This world needs to catch the hell up.



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Sleeping To The Top?

I know sleeping your way to the top is supposed to be a “woman’s” issue. We’re the ones that are supposed to fight to be rewarded for our minds and not our bodies but over the weekend I found that it’s not a “woman’s” issues. It’s a people issue.
I live in L.A and work in entertainment so I hear a lot of “casting couch” stories. Mostly young girls and old casting guys and there are always the “star-f***ers” as they are so affectionately referred to. But this weekend while having drinks at a bar two men and I were chatting about the “industry”.
We all had a “huge male celebrity” story. Mine was nothing like theirs…because their story was about how this “huge male celebrity” wanted to sleep with them. That’s right. A widely known, widely respected, hugely popular, hugely in the closet actor had tried to get both of these men to hook up. He used his name to try and get in their pants.
Doesn’t this story sound familiar? The only difference was these guys said, “I’m not gay—and even though it’s “huge male celebrity” I just can’t do it”. They declined an offer from someone with huge success, huge resources, and the opportunity to get them somewhere.
We can argue that it’s because they wouldn’t engage in homosexual activity…but that’s just a sexual activity they don’t want to partake in. I highly doubt all the girls that sleep their way to the top like the men they are doing it with or like the things the men ask them to do. I’m also pretty sure these men ask for the nasty things they can think of because they know these girls won’t say no.
It got me thinking—it’s not a can’t say no—they just won’t. So what is it about men that they can say no to sex they don’t want to have but women feel like they shouldn’t?



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I Hate Violence Against Women (And So Do These Lions)

This would be a precious story if it had not begun with a violent and vicious attack upon a twelve-year-old girl. She was abducted by seven men and she was then beaten because they wanted her to marry one of them.

While hitting a child is unacceptable under all circumstances, this is a particularly brutal story. And apparently, in Ethiopia (where this occurred), it is not uncommon for young girls to be abducted, raped, and tortured to get them to agree to marriages.

Kidnapping young girls has long been part of the marriage custom in Ethiopia. The United Nations estimates that more than 70 percent of marriages in Ethiopia are by abduction, practiced in rural areas where most of the country’s 71 million people live.

Absolutely sickening.

In this particular case, the story has a happier ending than most. And please remember that, in the US, child-abductions are usually carried out by someone acting alone or perhaps by a couple—in either case, a lone good Samaritan (particularly a looming giant like myself) would be enough to frighten off some abductors. That would not be the case with a seven-man kidnapping.

However, there is something that does frighten seven grown men, and that’s lions. Specifically, three lions. The article did not specify anything beyond that they were Ethiopian lions (pretty standard, since they were in Ethiopia), but given that they were working together, I would assume that these were three female* lions.

The girl, who was crying out in pain, was clearly in distress. The three female lions came running up . . . I’d say “like a bat out of hell,” but, honestly, “like three angry lions” sounds way, way scarier. The seven awful attackers ran away (tragically, none of them were mauled or killed). The lions did not attack the girl. They also did not leave. Instead, the three lions guarded the injured child for about half a day, until authorities showed up, at which point the lions stopped guarding and just walked away.

In the words of one of the men who found her, Sgt. Wondimu: “They stood guard until we found her and then they just left her like a gift and went back into the forest.”

I wish that there were a few lions waiting nearby to spring into action for every act of violence—particularly those against women and children, who are so frequently the victims.

Whether the lions just responded to the general dickishness of a bunch of adults attacking a child or whether they somehow “confused” the cries of distress that the girl made with cries from a lion cub (which I don’t entirely buy—sentient mammals who aren’t psychopaths tend to have an instinctive desire to care for the young, even of enemy species), this is a great story.

Also, I now know enough more about Ethiopia and want to put it higher on my list of “countries that I want to conquer to rescue their people from each other.”

 

*Among lions, the males grow their big manes and have penises, but the females are the super awesome badass lions. They do the hunting and guard their territory—male lions mostly just contend with rival male lions. And while it sounds like the male gets to lay back while the females do all of the work, remember that the female lions may become fed up and kill the male lion if he is weak or otherwise displeases them. You can find pictures online of male lions in captivity crouching in corners while a female lion growls or roars at the male. Lady lions are badasses.



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A New Normal

The term “stay at home Dad” still has some stigma around it. I bet your ears perked up. It’s still uncommon with only four percent of stay at home parents being men. Now, that’s an official number but actual stay at home dad’s say that number is much higher.

Stay at home dad’s talk a lot about how they seem to be a novelty. People in grocery stores stop and stare at a man with a baby strapped to him grocery shopping during the day. Thinking it’s probably his day off—not his daily routine.  People smile and point at the dad at the park but pay no mind to the mom’s around him. That’s the mom’s role, right?

The story of one stay at home dad in particular is all too common. They didn’t start out this way—dad lost his job and to save money on childcare he stayed home. That’s when they noticed that their son was less tense, happier, listened better, less fighting and yelling in the home—clearly this was a winning formula. This particular stay at home dad also said he was stopped one day while walking with his boys. A car pulled up and rolled down it’s window to reveal a college kid. He smiled and said, “You know, I wish my dad played with me as much as you play with your kids.”

Dad’s always seem to be this untouchable, authoritative figure.  “Wait till your father hears about this!” That phrase strikes fear in the hearts of millions. Dad is the disciplinary—the worker, the guy that gets the big piece of chicken—he doesn’t make the chicken…until now

Kids benefit from having a parent home. This we know. I wonder if it makes a difference that the one that’s home is the one that is the rough and tumble one? They think, you can always pull one over on mom—just bat your eyes at her and she’ll swoon on your charms. I remember my nephew throwing a fit over some snack he wanted that my mother had refused him. You would’ve thought that this kid was being tortured at Gitmo the way he screamed.  She gave in and as he walked past me he very calmly stated “works every time”.

My nephew doesn’t pull that stunt with me—mainly because I’m one of the father figures in his world.  He grew up with my parents and me. My dad and I are the only masculine figures my nephew knows. Whenever he draws his family I am the only girl in pants and I always stand with my dad while his mother and my mother are in pinks and oranges in pretty dresses to the left. My dad and I are in blues and greens to the right. That’s fine, I’m more of a guy’s girl anyway—but it got me thinking—how different my nephew would behave if I was his stay at home parent.

The four percent figure I stated earlier is double what it was a decade ago. This trend is growing and all I can say is: “GROW BABY GROW!” We need more dad’s at home. We need more families to see that it doesn’t matter who “brings home the bacon”. People are people and families are families no matter the dynamic.



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