The Modern Fairytale

Weddings have taken many forms and purposes across human existence. For a great period of time, weddings were primarily an exchange of a daughter as a valuable good. In other times, the daughter is something that needed to be unloaded and taken as a bribe with a dowry.

A slightly more modern perspective houses the now classic fairytales as inspiration. Allusions are often made to the cartoon versions of Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, and the like. Whether or not the lady started out as a Princess or merely ended up as one, there is always a wonderful love story and a fabulous wedding to go along with it. Many a girl now laments “Disney gave me unrealistic expectations about love!” After all, it is a Facebook group.

It is now nearly an American standard to spend about $30,000 on a wedding. The wedding ceremony and reception are the pinnacle of love and romance for the fairytale achievement. It is evem common to plan your wedding on Pinterest- whether you are in a relationship currently or not.

TLC hosts multiple shows about finding the perfect wedding dress for this fairy tale. “Friday is Bride Day on TLC.” An entire day is dedicated to this search!

In all, it sounds like great fun. Ridiculously expensive, but definitely fun.

From what I’ve gathered from my TLC wedding education, there seem to be quite a few rules for wedding gown shopping. These begin at 1) already knowing what kind of dress you like, 2) having a several thousand dollar budget, and 3) don’t bring the groom with you.

Every episode encounters different kinds of brides, families, situations, styles, and weddings. If you will, TLC hosts a type of microcosm of this modern fairytale world. Apparently, according to this popular network, this is the formula for fulfilling your ideal of the fairytale.

The point of all of this: making the bride choose what she wants. She so often has at least five people sitting on a couch in front of her, telling her exactly what they think she should wear, how her body looks in it, and giving or denying approval. It is a painful process. People cry. Often.

In the end, a woman stands up for herself and chooses exactly what most beautiful self she will be, in front of all her loved ones, when she declares her eternal love and begins a new phase in her life. She has already chosen her mate, potentially the most difficult decision of her life. She better be able to choose a very expensive, white frock.

The modern fairytale: the pursuit of life, liberty, love and happiness, all while you live it your own way and to your best ideals possible. That is rather feministic.



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Oh Deer…

 

Some women have ‘the bride gene’ they just want to be brides. They can’t wait for that special day when they drop 35k on a single event. They spend years dreaming about their perfect dress, the food, the venue etc. They pick out bridesmaids gifts and plan their something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. But now there is a new trend in bridal fashion and it’s very deer. No, I didn’t misspell that…it’s deer antlers.
For $325.00 you can put a “bridal mini hat” made by Fine & Fleurie on your head as you walk up the aisle. But it’s not any “mini hat” it’s antlers. They’re freaking antlers. I love minis anything teacup sized will send me into squeals so I’m pretty upset that they’re using people’s love of mini’s to lure them into antlers.
Fine & Fleurie say, “this is a great piece for a fearless, whimsical bride.” Huh? Fearless I get…but whimsical? What is whimsical about strapping antlers on your head? I’m not knocking crazy fashion, I’m a grown woman that wears an owl snow hat…I get it sometimes you just feel like being an animal but antlers? On your wedding day?
Maybe I’m not the best source for this. Weddings have always been a source of confusion for me. If I’m going to go in debt I’m not going in debt over a wedding—a car, a house, a month in Europe yes, but not a wedding. I don’t understand why this one day matters so much and to that point I’d like to submit that women that have Pinterest boards planning their wedding—when they are not engaged should be quarantined.
In researching outlandish wedding ideas I headed to Pinterest which is the Mecca of weddings and food. I was browsing through some friend’s boards, some friends of friends, and was amazed at how many of these people are planning lavish weddings when they don’t have a proposal. Some have boyfriends—which shocks me that this doesn’t send a man running—but most are single.
Wait, I think I understand it…the same women that plan a wedding without a proposal are the “whimsical” types that pay $325 bucks to stick antlers on their head and call it fashion.

I was discussing this article with my friend Bunny and she put it best. She asked what one had to with the other and I said that I was trying to illustrate that there are varying degrees of crazy but crazy is crazy. To which she replied, “No way. There are a million different shades of crazy. I’m crazy, but in a much different way than you are crazy, and we are both crazy in different ways than Martha Stewart -now that bitch is crazy.”

So the point is, ladies, embrace your crazy. If you want to plan a wedding without a proposal, put antlers on your head, or go to jail for insider training and come out wearing a poncho knitted by your cell mate– do you.



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“Bridesmaids” takes the typically clichéd wedding movie genre and completely upends it and reinvents it into something surprisingly daring and alive.

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photo of kate middleton and prince william royal wedding pictures photos

I don’t fully understand all of the excitement over the Royal Wedding. Granted, I wasn’t even born when Charles and Diana got married, so maybe this really is a big deal. But apparently in England people are having SuperBowl-style parties at each others’ houses to watch the event — hopefully with the British version of seven-layer dip and beer helmets. In any event, in the lead-up to the wedding, no detail has been left untouched by the media, but perhaps the most scrutiny has been applied to two topics in particular:  the dress and Kate Middleton’s ever-slimming form.

According to Jezebel, Kate Middleton may have gone with some little-known British designer, not unlike Diana back in the day — though one does hope there will be a considerably shorter train and some puff-free shoulders.

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