Category Archives: violence

Religion and Family Violence

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There has been a steady rise in non-affiliated religious people across the past twenty years. This is perhaps due to the “inverse relationship between modernization and religion” and growing acceptance of science. However, religion still plays a part in what many people consider being right versus wrong, and therefore can change a person’s actions.

In a nutshell, we seem to hate on religion around here. Whether you believe or not, religion still has it’s perks.

Considering the Torah, a woman is supposed to maintain peace in the household, or Shalom Bayit. Obviously, peace in the household is the desired state, but is it acceptable for a man to harm a woman for not maintaining the peace? Others use the Qur’an to justify abuse, and some Christians cite Ephesians 5:21-33 (the Bible) in the concept that wives are supposed to fully submit to husbands.

All three holy books consider divorce to be a sin. Therefore, if a woman is to leave an abusive situation and become divorced, she may have to sever ties to her religious community. Many religious leaders give bad advice or attempt to cover up abusive situations, due to their lack of training in the subject matter.

The above concepts from the holy books may help justify abuse or prevent a victim from leaving an abusive situation.

Individuals are using institutionalized, spiritual belief systems as backup for their harming others. In our American society, religion is often cited by the unreligious as a concept to keep the people from doing horrible actions to others. Religion serves as deterrent besides for the concept of jail. Legal issues ensue when an individual is caught doing something illegal.

However, religious issues of guilt and punishment are plausibly always happening, as a deity sees all and knows all. In the next life, heaven, etc, an individual will pay for their sins as decided by the greater power. All of these ideas are positive in nature, since they are designed to prevent a person from sinning/ harming someone else.

Religion is rarely applied in the opposite direction: how a religious belief may justify abuse.

Perhaps Jesus should have written an 11th Commandment: “Don’t hurt others.” Oh, wait, that would be “love thy neighbor as thyself”!



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Don’t Hit Women. Thanks, Grey’s Anatomy.

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I feel as if all of my posts have supremely obvious titles. Don’t Hit Women. Abercrombie Sucks. PornPornPorn. Sometimes, the world needs to be the point blank, black and white, throw it in your face kind of obvious.

Thursday, May 9th hosted the newest Grey’s Anatomy episode. Tonight will be the season finale. Last Thursday’s episode Readiness is All was emotional, dramatic, and fantastic. All are to be expected from a hit tv show that has stood up over nine seasons and has always been in the top 5 dramas currently on television.

Grey’s Anatomy has touched on many heart-wrenching and controversial issues over the years. It also plays host to a myriad of brilliant and admirable female character’s, including the woman that the show is named for, Dr. Meredith Grey. These women save lives and kick ass. They have fantastic, formidable careers and love passionately. They also sometimes make minor mistakes, make mistakes that can’t be condoned such as affairs, and deal with very real emotional issues.

They may be dramatic television characters that deal with horrific problems, but sometimes I wish that I was a Cardiothoracic surgeon surrounded by equally admirable, brilliant, studly men.

As the women of Grey’s would say, that sounds McDreamy. McSomething, I suppose.

Last week’s episode focused on a domestic violence situation between one doctor (Jo) and her doctor boyfriend (Jason). They had hit each other. She left the incident with facial bruising, and he left with brain trauma that nearly killed him. When he awoke, another doctor (Alex) blackmails Jason into not pressing charges. Alex tells Jason that is never acceptable to hit a girl. Jason protests, saying that Jo hit him as well. Alex responds with “don’t hit a girl; take it or walk away.”

I don’t agree. This type of situation isn’t to be excused. Take it? He should just take the violence? No, he should have walked away. I don’t think we should just excuse domestic violence when it is at the hands of a woman. Neither of them should be acting upon violent thoughts.

Instead of saying “don’t hit a girl,” we should be saying “don’t hit.” If we want equal treatment, we need to give it back to the men as well. I know that this common phrase, “don’t hit a woman,” is part gentlemanly ideals, part encouraging self restraint in men. This implys that men have lessened control over their violent thoughts; that they should restrain their self when these thoughts are towards women, but perhaps it is more ok for a man to hit a man. Men being manly, right? No. Just stop.

Men, don’t hit men. Women, don’t hit men. Men, don’t hit women. Women, don’t hit women! Don’t hurt each other! Walk away!

Don’t take it, and don’t give it back unless you really do have to defend yourself. If you really think that you will get hurt if you don’t fight back, and there is no way to leave the situation, then by any means possible, defend yourself. Defend yourself until you are able to leave the situation.

I worked at a suicide hotline for a notable duration, and I was amazed by what terrible situations people’s lives truly could be in. These calls were not from third world nations or slums, but from my backyard.

People face violence everywhere. Violence happens in every pay scale. Don’t be a part of it. Stand up for yourself without breaking someone’s face.



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Spring Breakers: Unconventional Feminism?

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Normally, hot, young, bikini-clad women doing drugs are not sources for discussion of feminism. A modern feminist such as myself is not supposed to support the blatant sexualization of young starlets who are role models for other young women.

Still, a viewing of the new movie Spring Breakers left me feeling bewildered. Am I offended?  Was this a good movie? Was this a good or bad thing for womankind? The ridiculousness is unending and unnerving.

The movie features four college aged girls who trek down to Florida for Spring Break. To afford this trip, they hold up a diner at squirtgun-gunpoint. Once in Florida, they are arrested for partying too hard. James Franco’s grangsta/ rapper character bails the girls out of jail and woos them with his stuff, such as guns and blue kool-aide.

Selena Gomez’s character Faith is the moral compass of the group. Albeit whiney and attempting to “find herself” on Spring Break, Faith is strong and shows that she alone is in control of her own decisions. A girl will do anything for her best friends, but must still stand up for herself.

Vanessa Hudgens’ and Ashley Benson’s characters are the more hardcore of the group, breaking both laws and female stereotypes. They are not the topless, silent girls on the rapper’s arm. They are the girls that make the rapper’s jaw drop as they defy everything he has seen in women. Shooting up Florida in their bikinis and pink unicorn ski masks certainly defies everything I’d previously seen. Sure, the obligatory threesome occurs, but it is all under their control and not just about pleasing the man.

Rachel Korine’s (who?) character is in full control of her sexuality. She tells the men explicitly when they can or cannot do the dirty. This scene made me expect that she was about to be raped. Perhaps there is something wrong with a movie when it makes you surprised that no one was raped.

None of these characters or scenes are typical of female empowerment, and yet I can’t help arguing in their favor. A walk outside of the cliché and into the questionable is sometimes necessary. Spring Breakers has women who speak their mind, make their own decisions, and do nothing because a man wants them to. Please ignore the gun fetishism.



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Important Choices

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photo of the legend of zelda pictures
How many of you guys play video games? Once upon a time, video games were thought of as activities for children, and the idea of playing them with any seriousness as an adult was met with the same stigma as an adult building with Legos or collecting action figures: at best, weird and emotionally stunted. At worst, maybe not someone who should be around minors.

For a long time, video games were also assumed to fall within the domain of males and particularly indulgent girlfriends. That is increasingly not the case—I think that many more people are now aware of the prevalence of female gamers, from friends and classmates to mothers and some high-profile ladies (Felicia Day and Eliza Dushku come to mind).

More than anything, though, I think that a lot of conversation about video games comes down to complaints about video game violence. In some cases, people complain about graphic violence (blood, gore, and other things that we are accustomed to seeing on HBO). There are also complaints about weapons used (namely: guns, which is understandable in a world with no shortage of senseless gun violence), and that such violence is glorified.

It’s not that I don’t understand the people who make these points. I do understand them and where they are coming from. But I think that maybe they do not understand video games.

Disclaimer: For reasons of personal taste (and, in some cases, dignity) I do not play certain types of video games. First-person shooters, especially military games, are not at all appealing to me. I tried watching a crush of mine play Grand Theft Auto and God of War, but …

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