Category Archives: strip club

Why I Hate You, ‘Magic Mike’

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photo of magic mike pictures
I know everyone is excited about “Magic Mike” but I’m not. Firstly, girls get to be hookers with the heart of gold, okay? Not boys. Boys don’t get to take that role from us, we originated that role and we do it better. But that’s not what bothers me about this movie.

I know that it’s based on Channing Tatum’s life, or whatever, but c’mon. I cannot count how many times I have heard girls screaming at their boyfriends for going to a strip club, watching porn, or buying Playboy. It’s always the same things being said too – “they’re trashy” or “those girls are such skanks,” etc. You know; things of that nature. But when Channing Tatum and his bros get up on stage to gyrate and bare their bodies it’s okay? Why?

This all came to a head for me when I saw the above photo.

Yeah, it matters. It matters what the movie is about because movies are about plots not abs. Movies about abs play on Cinemax after 10 pm. I don’t care that these guys have nice stomachs and can grind their hips, I’m not mad at them for getting up and grinding on stage. I’m mad at you, ladies.

That’s right – you. You hypocritical broads that will yell at a man for looking at your boobs before your eyes but will pay 28 bucks to see this film. This isn’t about everyone it’s about a select few. The above photo was posted on someone’s Facebook wall and I was then assaulted with it on my news feed. When I saw it I wanted to scream. This girl not only gave her boyfriend the silent treatment for buying a magazine with Kate Upton on it but has repeatedly told me that she thinks strippers are “disgusting whores on par with the trash that walks Hollywood Boulevard.” But she is counting down the days until she sees this flick. I’m confused.

I don’t know what it is that makes it okay for men to do things and horrible for women to do it. It’s the age old battle of double standards. Is it because men with washboard abs and the ability to dance are so rare? Is that why it’s okay to put them on a stage, rub oil on them, and make them dance for dollars? I don’t think so. I don’t think it’s ever okay. I’ve gone on my stripper rant before and my …

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The Lusty Lady, a Comprehensive Review on Closure

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photo of the lusty lady pictures photos
Maybe I’ve gone to too many strip clubs, maybe I’ve known too many strippers … but this is one thing that I am not in support of and don’t even get me started on “Go-Go Dancers” (you are not classier because you don’t call yourself a stripper—just be a stripper already)!

When I read that The Lusty Lady, the nation’s only employee-owned, unionized strip club, is in financial trouble and in danger of closing down I thought “so what.” I don’t care and I don’t think it’s “feminist” and I don’t think it matters that it’s owned by women or that they make an effort to employ “diverse body types and ethnically diverse dancers”. Not even you, Dolores:

“We’re a San Francisco institution,” said Dolores, a dancer since 2005 who named herself for Mission Dolores Park. “If you can walk into a place, pay a dollar, see a beautiful nude girl and give her a wave, there’s something to be said for that.”

No, Dolores, there isn’t. Nothing good has ever come from a strip club and nothing good has ever brought someone to work in one. A strip club is a strip club is a strip club!

Just because stripping has become “mainstream” with pole-dancing exercise classes does not make it less degrading. I’m sorry, but I think stripping on a stage for dollar bills is degrading. Crawling on a filthy stage, sliding down a germ-filled pole (not every club wipes them down I’ve only seen two that actually have people go on and Clorox those poles), so that men can make you “dance for them” is just awful to me. And again, that’s my opinion. I know plenty of women who feel that stripping for cash “empowers” them, but that’s a debate for … well, for the comments section.

Before everyone jumps down my throat, I have no problem with stripping for your boyfriend. I have no problem with dressing up, and I have no problem with feeling empowered through your sexuality. I do, however, have a problem with girls who clearly have some underlying issues, be it daddy issues, or self-worth issues, who feel that their worth is somehow measured by the amount of dollar bills waved at them.

Like I said, maybe I’ve been to too many clubs, or known too many “dancers”; heard too many horror stories, and see too many “lap dances” in the “V.I.P” room. I’ve written several times in support of porn, and in support of whatever women want to do with their bodies. I even started a new feminist movement where it’s “whatever as long as no one gets hurt,” but I have never heard of a strip club experience where someone doesn’t get hurt. Whenever I walk into a strip club, it’s never an overwhelming sense of “this is a fine place to be” it’s always “this is a seedy, dark place to be.” There’s just a bad energy … and I’ve been to high-roller strip clubs.

Me? I’m very sorry The Lust Lady, but I don’t care that you’re going under. In fact, I’m okay with the fact that in a down economy, strip clubs are taking a hit, too. I feel sorry that some people will be out of a job, but maybe they’ll wake up and realize that they are so much more than just “lusty ladies.”



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Whoa There, Ohio! Local Strippers and Local Church Protest Each Other

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Sometimes you can’t write humor this good. Because sometimes the strippers in small towns actually go out to protest in bikinis outside of a church in Ohio, a hotbed of stripper controversy. Believe it! ABC reports:

The strippers, fueled by Cheetos and nicotine, are protesting a fundamentalist Christian church whose Bible-brandishing congregants have picketed the club where they work. The dancers roll up with signs carrying messages adapted from Scripture, such as “Do unto others as you would have done unto you,” to counter church members who for four years have photographed license plates of patrons and asked them if their mothers and wives know their whereabouts.

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Sex Trade Allegations Indicate Joran van der Sloot Worse Than We Thought

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He’s murdered one woman (Stephany Flores) and more than likely got away with the killing of another (Natalee Holloway). Now, Joran van der Sloot is back in the news … for alleged sexual trafficking of underage Thai girls. Oh, and two of them are missing.

From The Daily Beast:

As Joran van der Sloot waits in a Peruvian jail to be tried for the murder of Stephany Flores, it increasingly appears that a highly disturbed young man was allowed to rampage freely for years.
New revelations indicate that the list of missing women linked to the 22-year-old Dutchman may grow even longer, all because Aruban police failed to imprison him five years ago. Not long after Van der Sloot narrowly escaped prosecution for the disappearance of American teen Natalee Holloway in Aruba on May 30, 2005, he headed home to Holland to finish his studies. He had served three months in Aruban jail after Holloway disappeared, but was released that September due to lack of evidence. Back in Holland, he took a few classes, but spent most of his time gambling in the casinos and smoking pot in coffee bars.

You know, I understand the concept of “innocent until proven guilty” as well as anyone (and better than some). However, van der Sloot’s obvious sketchiness was evident from the moment he was detained in connection with Holloway’s disappearance. Someone should have kept a better eye on him.

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