Category Archives: sexist

Holla!

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Have you heard of “Hollaback”? Not “Hollaback Girl” that awful Gwen Stefani song…but Hollaback! Organization? I hadn’t either…but damn, are they awesome. They aim to “take action against street harassment: don’t just walk on…Hollaback!”
According to their website: “The real motive of street harassment is intimidation. To make its target scared or uncomfortable, and to make the harasser feel powerful. But what if there was a simple way to take that power away by exposing it? You can now use your smartphone to do just that by documenting, mapping, and sharing incidents of street harassment. Join an entire community ready to Hollaback!”
Their mission is to: “end street harassment powered by a network of local activists around the world. We work together to better understand street harassment, to ignite public conversations, and to develop innovative strategies to ensure equal access to public spaces.”
To do this they take out ad campaigns on sidewalks, subways, street corners and it’s so cool. The ads say things like “Nice A** Is Not A Compliment”, “If You See It Happen, Have Her Back”, and “Hey Sexy Is Not A Compliment”.
I love this so hard. Really, I cannot count the number of times I’ve said into my cell phone, “Oh no oh no I don’t want to walk by these guys” or “Ugh, sorry some guys were making cat calls”. It doesn’t make me feel good it makes me feel vulnerable, distracted, and gross. I just want to walk to my destination without having to cower from booming voices whistling or saying, “Hey baby”. It’s a form of intimidation and it’s a form of subversion. I’m glad someone is taking a stand. Holla!



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Five Shades of Misogyny in “Fifty Shades of Grey”

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photo of 50 shades of grey pictures
As soon as I heard about E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey, I knew I’d probably end up reading it.  I tend to go to the those “bandwagon books” (The Hunger Games, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and so on) kicking and screaming, but I’m somehow always convinced to read them.

I bought Fifty Shades of Grey when I went into the town bookstore to get a book for one of my students.  I’d heard about it, of course, and figured it was as good a time as any to read it.  I read that book with a mixture of fascination and disgust, and I’m pretty sure my family was disgusted with me.  I kept commenting on how skeeved out I was by it, and my mother would say, “Then why the hell are you still reading it?”

And then I lost all credibility when I got the subsequent books (Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed) on my Nook.  Why, you might ask, if I was not exactly enjoying the experience?  Well, I wanted to know what happened.

Which is really stupid if you think about it; after all, I’ve read the Twilight books, and Fifty Shades began life as Twilight fanfiction.  What that means, just so you know, is that you can do this:

Twilight/Fifty Shades of Grey is the story of an innocent young woman named Bella Swann/Anastasia Steele who somehow attracts the attention of a gorgeous, rich young man named Edward Cullen/Christian Grey who lives with his adoptive family.  Edward/Christian is not as perfect as he appears, though; there is something about him that could be potentially fatal to Bella/Ana: he is a vampire/obsessed with S&M.  There are several twists and turns, of course (notably Bella’s/Ana’s longtime friend, Jacob/Jose, who develops romantic feelings for her that lead to awkwardness with Edward/Christian), but they ultimately end up together after Bella/Ana changes herself to become a true part of Edward’s/Christian’s dark world, and they all live happily every after.

But that isn’t really my problem … I mean, to some degree, you can do that with many stories.  As one of my wise English professors once said, “There are only five original stories in the world.  The rest is in the details.”  And, to be fair, this book was never billed as fine literature.

Nope, my beef with Fifty Shades is the misogyny present therein.  A small sampling …

1.  A woman should not have to change herself to fit into the idea of a man’s perfection.

I’m not talking about the S&M so much, either.

Ana is chastised repeatedly for going out with her friends without Christian’s …

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Feminist Joan: ‘Mad Men’ Recap

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photo of christina hendricks mad men pictures

On Mad Men’s 11th episode of their 5th season they tackled a touchy subject…how does a woman make her way in a man’s world? Their answer … sex. Here’s a quick recap in case you missed it:

Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce is in the running for the Jaguar account (again). While at dinner with a higher up at Jaguar the man suggest that SCDP could win the account if Joan would sleep with one of them. So, Pete presents the business opportunity to Joan (in the slimy way only Pete can) she objects and the topic is seemingly dropped. But that’s not Pete’s style and he calls all the partners in to discuss paying Joan for her exchange, only Don objects. Lane speaks with Joan and tells her if she’s going to prostitute herself she should ask for a non-silent partner at the agency. Lane offers her a partnership with 5% share in the company, and she agrees.

Now, I love Mad Men and Joan is by far one of my favorite people on the show. She’s always been a really strong force. She runs that office, knows everything, puts Roger in his place, doesn’t settle for less in her marriage and in this episode … she …well, she did what she had to do. Joan is now a single mother of a newborn and has been working with the guys at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce for 13 years. I’ll admit I was a bit upset when she actually went through with it, but the more I thought about it I wondered,“what would I do?” If I had a little baby at home, and had been killing myself for 13 years and still didn’t make decent money because I was a gorgeous redhead with a killer bod and not a man … Well, I might be tempted to use the one thing that I had going for me, too.

It also got me thinking about living in a man’s world. In 2012 I didn’t think I had that issue until recently, when I was confronted with being put in a hard place for two reasons: I look very young and I am female. My ideas were not accepted without hard evidence to back them (where as my male counterpart could just throw out random ideas and be met with praise and reward), and I was made to take the fall for my male counterpart and told “You’re a silly young girl, but you’ll be fine because you’re so pretty.” It was pretty clear to me that at that company I was never going to be anything other than a pretty face … unless I had something to trade.

Looking back on this episode of Mad Men, I get it. I was dealing with three men stuck in the 1950’s-60’s and Joan lives in those times where EVERY man thinks that way. While the act itself was prostitution, it was also really powerful and got her foot in the door. Living in LA and working in entertainment you start to realize it doesn’t matter how you get in – you just get in … and Joan became the first female partner of an advertising agency in 1967. So you know what? Brava, Joan.



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Lego my … Legos?

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Picture of Lego Toy for Girl Currently Under Fire
I might well be the only person alive who hates Legos.  Like, I deplore those little plastic demon-infested things.  I was the kid who could never get the damn pieces of plastic the right way, the one who was always in search of the big red three-topper that my brother always seemed to be using.

And while Lego’s have a solid (and undoubtedly well-deserved) reputation as good learning toys, my own personal experience was marred by two factors.

First, I have a spatial disability.  It was painful for me to attempt to figure out whether the right-bending Lego’s would mesh with the left-benders or vice versa.  It gave me a freaking headache and made what was supposed to be playtime absolutely torturous.

I am pretty much textbook ADHD.  In other words, I struggled for a long time with finishing anything I started.  If I got a Lego kit, I either threw it against the wall or gave it to one of my siblings.  The prospect of actually putting together a Lego World … absolutely impossible for me.

But I have not allowed my Lego prejudices to interfere with my children’s enjoyment of them.  Both of my daughters went through extensive Lego phases, the younger one in particular (her father is a statistician who is all about everything going in its right place).

They’re a toy.  A childhood staple, really, kind of on par with Tonka trucks and Barbie dolls, only not as gender-specific … which was, of course, part of what made them so appealing to me as a parent.

But I guess all things must come to an end.

From Time HealthLand:

The classic playtime favorite is typically gender-neutral, but the new Lego Friends line is catered to girls with a Butterfly Beauty Shop and a Fashion Designer Workshop. Promotions for the line showcase stylish and slimmer figures instead of the usual blocky characters.

Carolyn Costin, an eating disorders specialist …

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