I used to be a music critic. That means I went to a lot of concerts and talked to a lot of “guys in bands”, sometimes they were “up and coming” guys and sometimes they were “award winning” guys. One thing was always the same…the guy that you see on stage is not the guy you see backstage.
Girls fall in love with rock stars. In fact I think you kind of have to—it’s kind of a rule. Here is this guy standing in front of thousands of people and they’re all singing along to his words (which are usually written by someone else or more than just him), responding to his every command, screaming for him, and he’s up there singling lyrics like, “you’re my angel/come and save me tonight”. *Swoon*
The problem is, when he gets off that stage, he is not the sweet, sensitive guy in that song telling you “you’re the reason I live, you’re the reason I die, you’re the reason I give when I break down and cry”; he’s a sweaty, amped up, horn dog—and depending on where he’s at in his career he’s usually drunk, stoned, or soon to be drunk and stoned, and you will be waiting in line behind at least 4 other girls begging to get on their knees for him.
I’ve seen it. It’s not pretty. But there are the one-offs too. I’ve seen guys get off stage and walk right to a bottle of Perrier, hung their wives, then hop on the buss to kiss their sleeping kids. But I’ll be honest…I’ve only seen that second scenario twice and one of them have since divorced.
Musicians no longer make money on albums they make it on the road, and the road is tough. It’s tough on their marriage, their kids, their sobriety, their everyday sanity. These guys have no idea what town they’re in or what day it is. Their significant others are usually single …