When two people engage in sexual behaviors, there is a risk. No matter how well you think you know somebody, however honest you believe someone to be in terms of their sexual history, there is a leap of faith involved.
Is that level of trust often given too easily? Of course it is.
Well, that’s the question du jour following reports that 28-year-old David Golding of the U.K. received 14 months in prison for “inflicting grievous bodily harm” after giving his girlfriend genital herpes.
The court heard Golding had denied having the infection when his then girlfriend, 24-year-old Cara Scott, was diagnosed with it soon after their relationship began in 2009. He only admitted it to her shortly before they broke up in 2010. Scott then went to the police.
According to the Daily Mail, Judge Michael Fowler said at sentencing, “‘Because it was in a relationship, it was particularly mean and an offense which amounted to a betrayal — a betrayal in a relationship in which you [Golding] professed love.
“The injury you caused her by this infection is at least or more …
It’s kind of a non-page, actually, since at the time of this writing it is only “liked” by 546 people (none of which, I’m proud to say, are my Facebook friends). Its wall is essentially blank, there are no discussions, and the information section informs us that the page was founded in March of 2010 but gives no further info.
The UK’s Guardian yesterday reported on a triple murder of family members in India that is being said to highlight a distressing rise in honour killings in the country. A new husband and wife, along with the wife’s female cousin, were each shot in the head twice last Sunday evening. The victims had no reason to suspect their murderers –-the murderers were their relatives.
An honour killing is the murder of a (generally female) family member by fellow family members, where the murderers believe the victim to have brought dishonour upon the family, clan, or wider community. The perceived dishonour can be for a number of different reasons; for example a woman dressing in a way that is considered unacceptable, or rejecting an arranged marriage. We’ve covered this topic before on Zelda Lily – back in the November of last year, Dharma reported on the killing of a young woman in Arizona, by her father, for being ‘too Western.’
Oh, how I wish my lying, cheating ex-boyfriend could read. I would have loved to have done something like this. (Okay, okay, I kid, he was semi-literate.)
Apparently, being the other woman took such a toll on this lady she decided to very publicly lash out at her very public boyfriend, by posting the evidence anywhere and everywhere.
This latest rendition of “You cheating bastard” begs the question so eloquently posed by writer Carrie Seim:
How dumb can these cheating husbands get?
You send late-night texts to these women, take them on vacations, mail them letters, promise them a wedding reception performance by the Dave Matthews Band – and then expect them to keep quiet? Someone always finds out – and your risk is directly proportional to your level of fame and/or income. Mistresses don’t just go away when you’re bored with them – especially if you’ve got a lot to lose.
The sad part in this type of revenge story is that no one really wins. Maybe the cheater, if he can manage to assuage one of the women involved enough to keep them around, or if he manages to avoid contracting and spreading venereal disease. But the scorned woman, in my experience, finds little comfort in outrageous efforts to get even. You’ve still loved, and lost, and now maybe other people are feeling hurt too. That’s not really comfort, or even closure. Thinking back to the revenge plot where the women did bizzarre things with their lover’s penis and some super-glue, I can’t help but wonder how much more outrageous these kinds of stories may get.
I understand the temptation for the ultimate revenge. Trust me, I do. But I’m not sure that lashing out is really helpful. Is it better to keep your head up and walk away gracefully? I think so. But I’m open to persuasion on that.
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