The relationship triangular of love is not the same as a “love triangle”. This is surely not that time in middle school when you and your BFF were major crushing on that cute boy with spiky gelled hair.
Rather, this concept states that a healthy, balanced love is comprised of intimacy, passion, and commitment. All three. With only one or two of those categories, relationships fail.
Surely modern feminists seek to be emotionally healthy. Knowing what you want in life is important, but knowing how to ask for it is also important. Being damaged may be popular, but being healthy is better.
I demand to know why this was not taught to us from Day One. We should have learned in Kindergarten what it takes to make love work. If not Kidnergarten, why not High School where we experienced falling in love? Us ladies had the health talk from the school nurse in the fifth grade about our impending periods. They could have sent in the nurse to tell us the truth about love that day, too.
I have countless friends who constantly lament their relationship problems. Sometimes I fall into that category as well. In young adulthood, we humans tend to seek emotional fulfillment through relationships. Our young attitudes are attempting to adjust to love versus sex and love combined with sex. We may choose to try a bit of one, both, or neither.
The above diagram fully explains the minutae. It isn’t that complex. I’m not instructing you on how to live your life or what relationships to have. This is simply the common equation for what many people strive to have. Most people would be happiest in a relationship that contains intimacy, passion, and commitment.
- Just infatuation = Passion
- Just Commitment = Empty Love
- Just (emotional) Intimacy = Liking
- Intimacy + Passion = Romantic Love
- Passion + Commitment = Fatuous Love
- Commitment + Intimacy = Companionate Love
- All 3 = Consummate Love