Category Archives: relationships

Going Down

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It’s not shocking to see a girl going down on a guy in a sex scene in movies. That’s common practice. You hear the sound effect of a zipper and the girl disappears out of the shot, or she kisses her way down and we see the pleasure on his face, or you flat out see her bobbing her head up and down on his lap. This is standard.

I can think of 4 movies that have a guy going down on a girl and one of them is American Pie and that scene is not sexy–it’s a joke. So lets call it three. Three movies in which a woman is shown receiving oral sex and enjoying it in a sexy way. The movies I’m thinking of are, Blue Valentine, Up Close and Personal (he kisses down and the camera quickly pans to her face showing her enjoyment so I might call this a 1/2), and A History of Violence.

That’s it. I can name 100 movies in which I’ve seen a guy getting head–not to mention TV shows. Holy crap, Mad Men alone has scene after scene of chicks dropping on guys–not one scene in which Don gives back. What is it about the female form that makes oral sex so–wrong? Dirty? Secretive? Why are we hiding cunnilingus?

For goodness sake it can’t be the female form–a man’s form is far more abrasive than a woman’s. It can’t be the motion…for a female oral sex scene you just show a man’s head between her legs–maybe you can show a little up and down or side to side motion but it’s nothing compared to the freaking bobbing that goes on with a blowjob scene. Next time you’re watching a movie with a sex scene–watch the blowjob scene…those chicks are working it. 

So, what gives? Why are we so anti eating out but so pro sucking off? Is it the terminology? Have you been squirming anytime I use a slang form of the word? Does the picture at the top of this article make your stomach drop? Did you spend an extra three seconds staring at it? Is that what happens when they watch the scene back in the edit bay? Maybe there are dozen’s of cunnilingus scenes on cutting room floors? Maybe they see the scene and someone says, “My goodness–that man is putting his mouth on and or near that vagina–WE CAN’T HAVE THAT! Go back to the scene where she bounces her head up and down on his lap making it seem like his penis is at least a foot long.”

Either way–I want to see more guys dropping in main stream films. Who’s with me?



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Challenged By Rizzoli & Isles

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There’s something you should know about me, I should’ve been a detective. Seriously, I am the Sherlock Holmes of…well, my house. Friends and family hate watching any suspense shows or movies with me because I ruin it about fifteen minutes in. I know who did it and why and I do not keep my theories quiet. I work the case the whole time. Then I complain about how easy and predictable it was, and basically ruin my own viewing experience. It’s very hard for me to enjoy crime dramas and I love crime dramas! I’m pretty sure I’m famous for this—because TNT reached out and challenge me. ME! They sent me a copy of Rizzoli and Isles new season premier and I took this as not just a “please review our show” I took this as “we’ve heard about you—we know what you can do, we bet you you’ll enjoy this.” They were right, I really enjoyed this show and not just because they openly discuss how they abuse their power by searching DMV records for personal reasons (who wouldn’t do that?!) while holding a human heart in their hands. Symbolism, represent! They used a really interesting way to kill their victim and I loved that when Isles’ would say something medical Rizzoli would give a “huh?” response so when it was explained it made total sense. Not like a certain FBI crime drama where they are explaining the case to each other for the benefit for the viewer but it makes you go, “why are you explaining that to him—he’s with the BAU he understands why a knife was used!” or “She’s the M.E she gets why 37 stab wounds is overkill—she gets it.” I’ll be honest in viewing Rizzoli and Isles season premiere episode, five minutes in I was all “oh please—I know who and I know why. Go here, do this boom! It’s always the (I’m not telling you cause that’s a spoiler)”. But—I will admit I was wrong. I took Rizzoli and Isles as a silly predictable crime drama. In fact I prepared for it to be really “soapy” without emphasis on the “detective”. It wasn’t. It was smart, it was interesting, and the dynamic between the two women was refreshing. So often we seen men in these roles and women are supporting characters but Rizzoli and Isles flipped that on its end. Half way into the show I forgot I was watching a crime drama; I was so enthralled with the personal stories of the characters which can attest to the acting on this show. But then I remembered there was a murder and there are post-its filled with strange notes. Hmmmm, time to change my theory it wasn’t Ms. Scarlet in the bedroom with the gun it was (NOT TELLING YOU) with the (CAN’T SAY) and it happened because (YOU’LL SEE). Then I had to reevaluate again. Twist, after twist, after twist. But third time is a charm and on the final twist I got it. I nailed it—but it took me almost the whole episode. Maybe I’m getting soft in my old age; maybe I’ve worked this beat too long. TNT & ZeldaLily have teamed up to help my ego and your pocket. Now, I’m challenging you. Tuesday, June 25th 9/8c on TNT to see the premiere of Rizzoli & Isles.  Check out the episode and leave a comment telling me what you thought, how long it took you to figure it out and you will be entered to win a prize from TNT.

 

Sweepstakes Rules:
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This sweepstakes runs from 6/13/2013 - 6/25/2013.



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I Think I Understand Weddings

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A few years ago two of my friends got married. I’d know them the longest out of everyone and so, when they tied the knot I thought, “Okay—so this is over.” I thought that my “everyone I know is getting married” phase was done. I mean, it made sense—these were the two people that meant more to me than anyone else and they got married so whatever—it’s done.
I didn’t think that two years later I would be inundated with weddings and marriage. I never thought it would bother me since I have no interest in getting married. I always thought that marriage was outdated and a waste of money. I thought it would be way too much to do and I would just be stressed and hate it and it’s all over in a day anyway. So I didn’t want marriage, until now—kinda…I guess.
I have been following the planning of at least three weddings and I think I get it. I think I understand why people do this. I’ll watch a girl getting ready at a hair salon and I’ll think, “She must feel so excited. I’m never going to feel that.” Then I remind myself that is not a reason to spend $40,000. Any excitement I would feel at getting ready would be diminished by the fact that I am spending a boatload of cash for a day.
Then there’s this other part of me that thinks, “there is so much love there”. There is one wedding in particular that anytime I saw an event, bachelorette/bachelor party, wedding planning, rehearsal dinner, and the like, anytime I saw these things it was so full of love and happiness. These people were head over ass for each other and everyone involved was so happy to celebrate that love. They were so excited to see these two people get married. That’s when it hit me. That’s what a wedding is. It’s not about a dress, or a party, or how much money you spend. It’s about finding a perfect partner and celebrating that with everyone you love. It’s about solidifying yourselves as a family.
I can’t believe I get weddings. I can’t believe I turned into that girl. Man, I hope in two years I don’t start understanding having kids. I cannot start understanding “jam-hands” and snotty noses and lifelong commitments to keeping another human being alive and safe.
What are some things that you thought you would never want that as you got older you started to understand? Please leave it in the comments so I don’t feel like a such a traitor to myself.



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Becoming Adult

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The idea of slowly transforming from childhood into adulthood is fairly new. Childhood itself is also rather new, since most normal working class lives used to entail children going into work as soon as they were physically possible. This is still the case in poorer nations, but is thankfully not the norm in America. Child labor is now illegal and school attendance is mandatory.

With the idea of childhood comes the difference between childhood and adulthood. Childhood officially ends at the age of 18. This would be about the time that the person graduates high school and enters the “real world”. Some attend college afterwards, prolonging the time before they must obtain full time jobs.

All of this includes the formal childhood vs. adulthood debate. Emotionally, becoming an adult is not the same story. Being 18 and having money does not make an adult. See Bieber.

The average age of a person when they enter their first marriage is 27, and children are likelier to be conceived after that. That means that ages 18-27, an individual is less likely to be forced into action, taking responsibility for their actions and acting like a true man or woman.

“What makes a man” or “what makes a woman” is also up for debate. The “man-child” phase is a quite normal stage now. This is normally a post-college male working a fine job, yet being more preoccupied with sports or video games than other life commitments.* He goes to work during the day, games all evening, and spends his time how he chooses. Is this the modern day bachelor- or societally stunted development?

Urbandictionary.com definition: A man by age but a child in mentality and actions. Usually an inability to get over the “frat boy” or “party boy” phase. Can’t have fun without a beer. Still relate to women as sex objects and are emotionally undeveloped. A general irritant to women and men that have matured.

There is probably a similar modern developmental stage for many young women. Peter Pan Syndrome may or may not be valid, but there is already enough irresponsibility to go around. American womenkind has fought hard for the rights to work, vote, and have an opinion. To not be property or less than. We are to make our own decisions and take advantage of the rights we were thankfully born with. This means accepting responsibility and not being the female version of the man-child.

*I do not condemn sports, video games, and the like. I don’t really care what forms of entertainment you partake in. Being entertained by a pastime does not make you irresponsbile. Choosing said pastimes instead of adult responsibilities does.



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