Kate’s Pregnant … Who Cares?

photo of kate middleton pictures
Since Kate Middleton and Prince William got married, there have been baby rumors. Finally, the rumors are true and Kate really is knocked up. We know she is knocked up because she had to go to the hospital with morning sickness—that means this baby is already a royal pain in the ass. It also means we have nine months of watching this pregnant chick and all that comes with that. Is it a boy? A girl? What will the name be? What does this mean for Prince Harry? This will go on for nine freaking months. We don’t know the sex and probably won’t until the little jam-handed brat comes out, and that goes for the name as well. What it means for Harry is … well … nothing. He’s always known he’d never be King that’s why he gets naked in Vegas and dresses like a Nazi.

I’m sure it’s a big deal in England for the Royal Family to be having a baby …although I’m a little confused as to what the royal family does other than look cool. But why do I have to hear about it in the States? Why was it front page news when Kate Middleton got bangs? They weren’t even bangs, they were side-swept and I didn’t even notice, not to mention the photo they used was her being windblown and you couldn’t even see them so I had to search. Why does this matter?! Why was I looking for these photos? Why is her hair and baby making abilities on my news report? Why isn’t the fact that we’re second in the world for childhood poverty and seventeenth for education the top story? I think that matters a lot more than some kid I’m never going to meet that will never impact my life or Government. Can we all get a little more perspective people? Maybe I’m wrong, maybe this matters. Maybe I’m missing the point. I would love to hear from anyone who actually cares about this baby and why you care. Do me a favor, leave it in the comments and educated me on this because honestly I feel left out.

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Great Expectations: Married And Expecting

Spoiler Alert: Being married is not the same thing as being pregnant.

Being married is not the same thing as trying to get pregnant.

Being married is not the same thing as planning to have children.

So, two delightful friends of mine (who, a month ago, let me come live with them for a week for a much-needed sanity break which was oh-so-welcome) have been engaged for a few months. I am so excited for them.

Here’s the thing—the lovely lady of this couple mentioned to me that people keep asking when she will have children. How many children they are planning on having.

I’m not going to try to speak for this couple, obviously. That’s their business.

Not everyone wants to have children. And, in particular, not every woman wants to have children. A lot of people seem to just hear “I don’t want children right now” when the woman is actually saying “I do not want children.”

I think that children are awesome. Raising them can be a wonderful experience. But it’s not for everyone. And I do not just mean that there are tens of millions of horrible parents out there. You don’t have to be a monster like Kate Gosselin or Casey Anthony to be a bad parent, of course. There are people who would be wonderful parents who do not want to be. Artists, teachers, police, and businesspeople who are so devoted to what they do that they are not prepared to make the sacrifices necessary to raise children.

And let’s not forget about the health drawbacks. I mean, first a foremost, a woman’s body is permanently and irreparably altered by pregnancy, and I do not just mean gaining weight. But there are other side effects—like months or even a couple of years with sporadic, frequently interrupted sleep for any parent of a newborn. And that is all after the pregnancy itself, which is notoriously less-than-fun.

Raising children requires a lot of time, energy, wisdom, and patience. And it also costs a lot of money.

You guys—it’s 2012. The biggest thing about the assumption that married couples are planning to have children is that it is such an antiquated idea. Having children is not antiquated, but the idea that marriage is a union that primarily exists for purposes of reproduction is.

So, if you have a couple of straight friends who have been dating for a while, are engaged, or are married, try to bite your tongue when it comes to questions like that. They aren’t helpful, and they can come across as assuming and even pushy.


PS: Also, I am totally following My Friends Are Married on Tumblr, and so should you.

PPS: And read this interview with My Friends Are Married on the marvelous site, HelloGiggles.

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New Study Finds Birth Control Prevents Pregnancy, I Find I’m Surprised

photo of birth control pictures
During this election there has been a lot of talk about women’s rights and women’s health and very little talk about common sense. According to “The Contraceptive Choice Project”, a new study outlined in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology, if women have access to birth control they won’t have an unwanted pregnancy. Shocking, I know—but if a woman doesn’t have an unwanted pregnancy that means she doesn’t have an abortion and it also means that the teen mom rate goes down (sorry MTV).

This study tracked over “9,000 women in St. Louis and gave a range of free birth control options to poor and uninsured women (those at the greatest risk for an unplanned pregnancy) between 2007 and 2011”. These options included implanted forms of birth control and lead to lower abortion rates 4.4 compared to 7.5 abortions per 1,000 women in the study. The Obstetrics & Gynecology study also predicted “that one abortion could be prevented for every 79 to 137 women being given free contraception.”

I also get free birth control because I don’t currently have health insurance. For the first time in my life I don’t have health insurance and I’ve found a doctor (read as saint) that looks out for my needs. I need birth control for medical reasons not just sexual protection reasons…yet another issue that the Republican’s overlook. If you take away my right to my birth control, in order to keep me from appearing whorish (cause only whores need contraceptive, since we live in 1922), I will very likely lose my job and my relationship. I have such crippling pain and severe mood swings without this medication that I can’t get out of bed. If I do get out of bed it’s very probably I will be a raving lunatic and no one will be able to stand me. Trust me this has happened, I’ve lost friends because of my period, where were you on that one, Judy Blume?

The point is now there is medical proof that birth control is not sanctioned by the devil, it does not mean you’re a classless two bit hussy, it means you are a grown woman and you are taking your life in your own hands. This shouldn’t be a government issue – this is a health issue that should be discussed between someone with a vagina and someone with a medical degree. Before all the “Planned Parenthood is a government-funded programmers” come at me, no it’s not. It’s partly funded by the government, but it’s mostly funded by donations. It does not spend most of its time doing abortions, either – it spends most of it’s time preventing them and screening women for disease and cancer … yes, please hurry and shut that practice down! What a waste of money preventative care is! Save us from healthcare that will help our women, keep them safe, and keep unwanted pregnancies from happening!

See how silly that last sentence is? See how ridiculous it is to think that anyone has a right to control anyone else’s health? Let’s try something new. Let’s try and make decisions on facts and science not religion, morals, and heresy shall we?

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Dignity: A Law & Order Review

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I had never seen Law & Order before I went to college. As much as I love television, I never really watched much of it during my teen years. In fact, I did not watch all that much of it as a child (my television viewing was strictly limited when I was younger, as was my diet—which I would prefer to believe has nothing to do with the fact that I am now fairly obsessed with numerous television shows and no longer eat anything at all that I do not want to eat). Honestly, I am not even sure that I had heard of the show before I went to college.

My roommate* freshman year watched a lot of television. He set the television to be his alarm to wake up. He went to sleep with the television on. It was one while he did his homework. It was on when he was drinking in his bed and glowering at me from across the room. To someone who is unaccustomed to having a television on, this was an extremely distracting whole new world. My roommate and I had very few common interests, and most of the television that I saw that he watched did not interest me in the least (I had never seen Friends before; from what I could tell, I wasn’t missing much, no matter how fond I am of some of the actors). There were a few exceptions: Judging Amy, The 4400 (which he stopped watching because it was, and I quote: “weird as hell”), and Law & Order. I was pretty hooked on these, but especially on Law & Order.

From what I can tell, a lot of people who really enjoy Law & Order have been victims of something or another. I am no exception—my father is literally the worst person whom I have ever met. Watching fictional violent parents get prosecuted was a nice way to cope (it would be years before I actually discussed my childhood with a therapist and received the PTSD diagnosis). I enjoyed SVU, I love Law & Order: UK, and I even enjoyed Law & Order: LA after they got that lovely new intro and brought Alana de la Garza over from the canceled Law & Order to work as a Deputy District Attorney.

But original recipe Law & Order is just the best. Not the first few seasons (which are devoid of female characters and present some very alarming attitudes), but after Anita Van Buuren becomes a character, everything improves. The show was awesome—there’s a reason for which it ran for twenty years.

The final season (featuring my favorite ADA of the series, played by Alana de la Garza) included one episode which I found so very upsetting that I did not watch any more of the season until the series finale. ‘Dignity’ (the fifth episode of the twentieth season) is about a late-term abortion provider who is shot and killed in a church (having survived a previous shooting).

There is one moment in the trial (the murderer decides to put late-term abortion itself on trial, and the lead prosecutor—for whom …

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