Category Archives: pregnancy

Where Is America’s Daddy Leave?

Posted on by
Reply

America is not so forward thinking as we would hope. Sure, occasionally gay people gain a few rights, and now we can reference those times we elected a half black President. This does not mean that America is any where near reaching the equality mark for any area of discrimination.

People don’t want to hear that we live in a discriminatory patriarchal world anymore, but the numbers don’t lie. Paternal leave is rarely offered in America. Women are in fact still penalized for maternity leave- after her fourth maternity leave, the CEO of Crest White Strips was asked to step down. Instead, she took her case to court.

In Sweden, the men are very much pushed into accepting their equal rights to a leave from work after a child is born. In 1995, Sweden introduced “daddy leave”. It had an immediate impact. No father was forced to stay home, but the family lost one month of subsidies if he did not. Soon more than 80% of men accepted paternal leave. Obviously, men could not as readily validate staying at work whilst losing money.

Money is a great motivator, but pride works even better. The pride that keeps these men at work when they have the paid option at to be at home with their lovely offspring is the same pride that makes them now accept parental leaves. Since the better option has now been normalized, men are capable of accepting their newfound equality.

This is not merely a fight for equal rights for women in the workplace, but also for equal rights for men in the home. The right to stay home with your child is not one afforded to most American men, and we are supposedly a superpower country.

Gender roles are so deeply, socially ingrained from birth that it seems we can do nothing to fight Sweden’s fight. Luckily, other countries are following suit: Germany, Portugal, and Iceland.

I take at this legislation as something that America is not good at: preventative measures. While this law has helped lower the divorce rate, raise women’s pay by seven percent, fight gender inequality, and probably more often raises strongly attached children, America can’t be interested in it because it is not a quick fix.

This isn’t just about parental leave, but gender equality in general. Only twelve of the five hundred CEOS of Fortune 500 companies are women. I know that national pride is important, but it is hard to be proud of my supposed super power homeland when they are not capable of doing so many things that a tiny, peaceful country of Sweden can do.



You Might Also Like ...

Abstinence Only? Screw that!

Posted on by
Reply



Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped when she was fourteen and held for nine months. Now, she’s an activist and an ABC News contributor. I have a few issues with Elizabeth Smart, namely that she really capitalized on her trauma. Immediately there was an interview, a movie, and a book all with her help and participation. Pretty sure she’s the only trauma victim that did that in under a month. Also, the part of her story in which she said she was out with her captors, went up to someone and said, “I’m Elizabeth Smart” and when they just kind of shrugged, not recognizing her name she went back to her rapists.
However, I’ll give credit where credit is due and Smart is speaking on behalf of victims and “abstinence only” education. She was at Johns Hopkins discussing human trafficking and sexual violence and said:

“she “felt so dirty and so filthy” after she was raped by her captor, and she understands why someone wouldn’t run “because of that alone.”
Smart spoke at a Johns Hopkins human trafficking forum, saying she was raised in a religious household and recalled a school teacher who spoke once about abstinence and compared sex to chewing gum.
“I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh, I’m that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.’ And that’s how easy it is to feel like you no longer have worth, you no longer have value,” Smart said. “Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value.”

Psychologists and sexual abuse counselors have all said that a comprehensive sex education can help prevent sex crimes. I don’t understand why in 2013 we are still teaching “just say no” when it comes to sex. Teach kids to be responsible about their bodies. Give them the tools they need. Right now we’re sending them into the woods at night without a flashlight and saying, “don’t trip or get hurt!” GIVE THEM A GOD DAMN FLASHLIGHT!
It’s backwards thinking and it makes sex dirty and our bodies bad. It causes shame, body issues, secrets, and self-destructive behavior. I would for once like someone to do something that would actually benefit the education of our children. But no, they won’t. They’ll keep banning Anne Frank, Red Riding Hood, and teaching us how to multiply fractions (I have NEVER needed to know how to do that in my life and excuse me that’s what a calculator and Google is for) but they will not teach anything that has any type of practical use.



You Might Also Like ...

Sexism in Your Friendly Neighborhood Restaurant

Posted on by
Reply

I have been a waitress for the past six years. It is part of my identity, along with student, social worker, and friend. In restaurants, I’ve seen a lot happen. The clientele is a snapshot of the general population, and the employees are even more colorful. This isn’t the Ryan Reynolds movie Waiting levels of ridiculousness, but it sure is close.

I feel as if I’m betraying my people in sharing these experiences. For instance, one restaurant I worked in would only hire female servers and male cooks. Whenever my female friends were looking for a job, I’d have to tell them to dress up cute so the owner would notice and hire her. If she didn’t get hired, then she was left feeling as if she wasn’t attractive enough for the job. We are not at Hooters where this sort of nonsense is seemingly ok.

When my male friends wanted a job, I’d have to tell them that they wouldn’t be allowed to serve, which positively makes better money than cooking. “Women in the front, men in the back.” We easily forget about gender discrimination against men. It still exists. Why does it have to matter, what the gender is of the person cooking your food or carrying your wings?

Other forms of discrimination existed, such as an unmarried female server becoming pregnant and no was longer given hours. After all, this is a family friendly restaurant, and the managers don’t want their place to be tarnished with sin.

Prejudice and discrimination seem to exist everywhere. Whether you are a woman being paid 1/4 less than your male counterparts, a person being hired for their looks that give the  workplace the look management is seeking, or a person unable to break into a job that breaks common gender roles- you are being discriminated against.

We tend to cite the business world for gender discrimination. It still occurs elsewhere, at lower pay levels and in different forms. I felt guilty to be a representation of a workplace that so blatantly discriminates, but not enough to leave the job. There is such an easy parallel drawn to feminism’s fight of equality. How can I expect men to fight for gender equality rights, if I will not fight for theirs?



You Might Also Like ...

“Abstinence Only” sex-ed is being re-branded as “Risk Avoidance”, which is B.S.

Posted on by
Reply

 

In early March, U.S. Rep. Randy Hultgren of the House declared that America’s sex education is not enough. The stats don’t lie, with ridiculous sexually transmitted disease rates for those in their teens and twenties. Hultgren then submitted a bill that would spend $110 million annually for the next five years on grants to abstinence programs.

This is almost as ridiculous as the S.T.D. statistics. More ridiculous than the coke-heads we let grace our tabloids. *cough cough* States with more comprehensive sex education programs have much better S.T.D. and teen pregnancy statistics than states focusing on abstinence-only or abstinence-plus sexual education programs. Europe mostly does comprehensive sexual education, and it works tremendously better than America’s abstinence plan. This does not seem to matter.

The statistics have been ignored in America for far too long. Thankfully, Obama’s platform has been for comprehensive sex education.

The idea to rebrand abstinence only as risk avoidance is ludicrous. Sure, abstaining is avoiding risks. The real risk lies in how many teenagers are not actually going abstain, regardless of that type of education. The true risk avoidance would be to teach the full course. This includes the realities of sex, anatomy, pregnancy, statistics, contraceptives, S.T.D.s, and emotions. Then perhaps the adolescent is practically prepared.

Still, we need to get something straight with America’s lawmakers, members of school boards, and parents: the math is in. Teenagers who receive a more comprehensive sex education are less likely to get a S.T.D. or become pregnant. It does not matter if you are uncomfortable talking about these touchy and genuinely awkward subjects with your offspring. If they don’t receive a full education on the subject matter, then they are much more likely to fail.

What individuals should receive what rights has always been a discussion topic. We are past the time where only white men could own land and vote. America still has a long way to go in equality, from letting same-sex partners into hospital rooms to who has access to better health care. What should not conceivably be up for discussion are the rights of our minors. The youth’s future is entrusted to the adults. We are to teach them how to live, how to learn, and especially how to not ruin their lives before they have begun.

I’ve come to that age where some of my friends are deciding to have children. Considering my career path, they ask me “when are you supposed to tell your kids about sex?” The answer is, “always”. They are to know from the time they can talk what the correct names for their parts are. They should know where babies come from before they have the inkling to ask. Sexuality should never be an awkward topic. It is a part of all of our lives, for the rest of our lives. Give the youth honest and developmentally appropriate answers to their questions. This isn’t a subject that you want your kids to feel eternal anxiety about.



You Might Also Like ...