Boys are Yucky

Boys are gross. That’s a fact. They do gross things, and find gross things awesome. They can go four days without a shower and not notice. It’s gross. To further prove my point Reddit conducted a “what do you do” type poll and these are some of the results, none of which are shocking.

This is what men admit to doing on the toilet and my response to it:

“Pretend stream of piss is a power washer for removing the hard to get stains from the toilet.”- Why are there stains? Clean your toilet with real cleaning supplies or buy those blue things that hide them!

“Like most people, I pee in the shower. Unlike most people, I hold my penis upwards when I do it sometimes. It makes a really cool fountain.”- That is not “like most people”. You stand in urine. Then you spray urine up towards your face. Gross. So freaking gross.

“Tried to spit directly into your stream while pissing.”- WHY?!!?

“Flush mid piss and race the toilet.”- This I understand.

“I am quite confident that all men with a bathroom scale weigh themselves before and after they poop to see how much it weighed.”- So simple…men are so simple.

“When taking a piss make a circle with your fingers around the stream and try to make sure you don’t get on your hand.”- But you do get it on your hands…the pee sprays on your hands, disgusting.

“Take an epic dump so intense that you had to remove your shirt because it got so hot.”- It should not be such hard work…change your diet.

“Saw a turd in half with super-power piss-stream.” I can’t. I can’t even…how do you not gag? You know what…no…just…no.

This is what men admit to doing with their balls and my commentary:

“When your balls get stuck to your thighs in a public place, you open your legs as wide as possible without looking like a freak and let the balls slowly unstick. Best feeling.” “After you took a piss and a lil ballsack meat is stuck between your boxers and you just lift your leg like a dog who’s about to pee.” “Do a little leg kick mid walk in an attempt to unstick your balls from your leg.”- Three different ways unsticking your balls is amazing. You simple lovely creatures.

“Sit there and watch your ball sack move in and out by itself like some weird alien being. I can sit there and stare at it fluctuate for …

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Signs and Symptoms: Be On the Lookout for Head Lice

Photo of Girl With Head Lice Being Combed
Ah, head lice. As a new school year revs up and kids are freshly home from summer camps, it’s a topic worth addressing. The stigma attached with head lice is indicative of a greater problem in society, that of comparing the so-called haves and have-nots.

What’s ironic is that head lice is absolutely in no way indicative of either cleanliness or hygiene, although I can definitely remember the kids who were sent home directly following the school nurse’s “lice check.” It must have been mortifying for them.

Although I am fairly well-educated and consider myself an open-minded person, I’ve found that I have a lot to learn about these little buggers as both a teacher and a parent—and the knee-jerk reaction that seems to go along with an infestation.

From USA Today:

Any child can get head lice. Dr. David Flinders, a family physician in Provo, Utah, stressed that getting head lice shouldn’t reflect badly on children who have them or on the children’s families.

“People often think it’s associated with poor hygiene or low socioeconomic status,” Flinders said. But, he said, “an affluent person is just as likely to get head lice as someone from a lower socioeconomic status.”

And often the white collar families are the ones that suffer most as they have to overcome their own aversions and humiliation (misguided as it may be) to a situation that they have preconceived notions about.

Going to the store and buying Nix and huge quantities of Lysol? …

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Menstrual “Evolution”: The New, Improved, Green Diva Cup

This video was cute. Really cute. You know, if you could get past the whole thought of billions of pieces of menstrual waste just floating around the landfills, poisoning our septic tanks, seeping into our sustainable land and junking up our drinking water. (I’m sure that’s not the case —  I’m exaggerating. I hope.)

But about this whole Diva Cup thing? Honestly? I know it’s this groundbreaking thing that’s sure to revolutionize the way that women view their periods — similarly to the way the tampon did in its early years — but I’m kind of grossed out by the entire concept. I know that they’re eco-friendly, they’re much easier and concise (according to the video, I’m going to venture a guess that you only have to clean and change this thing once a day, which is much different than that, say, of a sanitary pad or tampon or whatever) and don’t take up much of your day or hygiene, but really. They’re like the lazy brother (OK, sister) of the Mademoicelle, even though they’ve been around much longer than the ‘Celle itself.

And yes, I know that I’m probably gallivanting freely through a minefield on this one, because I’m aware that some of you guys have really strong opinions about the Diva Cup, but me? Not so much. I’ll stick to my tampons and continually pollute the world around me with my own biohazards — so just keep yours (and your bloody Diva Cup — no pun intended) to yourself.

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