What I Begrudgingly Admit As A Woman

We, the women of the feministic mindset, like to pretend we can do anything we set our minds to.

We can do a lot, but we definitely can’t do everything. Certain categories of life require the help of others. It shouldn’t be a problem to ask for help in life. No one is perfect, except perhaps Beyonce. Yet, we work so hard for our rights- and even the rights to have opinions- that we sometimes forget to chill out and admit weaknesses.

There are a few things the male body is more naturally suited for. The physical set of a man’s hips is more efficient for running. Women certainly can and should run if they should choose, but it comes slightly easier to a man. Just as childbirth comes easier (ok, physically possible) for women. That is what our hips were made for. The disgruntled runner inside me begrudgingly admits this.

Many men even lose weight easier than women do- something that weight loss shows have to take into mathematical account when competing men versus women. I find this wholly unfair and something that I will continue to pout about.

Something else that comes easier to men: being alone in certain situations. I don’t want to walk alone at night. I don’t want to walk through a parking garage or pump gasoline alone, thanks to television deja vu. I don’t get into a vehicle alone at night without being afraid that a person sits await in my backseat, waiting to garrot me, or lies under my car, waiting to stick a knife out to cut my Achillie’s tendon and disable me from running away.

I don’t care how safe the neighborhood is supposed to be- I don’t want to be outside in it, alone, when there is a sparse grouping of people in the area. These may sound completely paranoid, but this fear has been drilled into me by news stories and foreboding warnings. How many women carry pepper spray, mace, a taser, or even a very pointy keychain that they could use to stab with in defense? How many men do the same? We are right to be scared. Ask for help, even if it is hard to admit. Get a ride home.

As much as we’d like for everything to be naturally even, the world is not. I am not admitting defeat, just further problem areas. Certainly every person can admit something they are jealous of the other gender for. I would add “peeing standing up” to the list, but I’m lazy. I enjoy extra opportunities to sit.

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Where Is America’s Daddy Leave?

America is not so forward thinking as we would hope. Sure, occasionally gay people gain a few rights, and now we can reference those times we elected a half black President. This does not mean that America is any where near reaching the equality mark for any area of discrimination.

People don’t want to hear that we live in a discriminatory patriarchal world anymore, but the numbers don’t lie. Paternal leave is rarely offered in America. Women are in fact still penalized for maternity leave- after her fourth maternity leave, the CEO of Crest White Strips was asked to step down. Instead, she took her case to court.

In Sweden, the men are very much pushed into accepting their equal rights to a leave from work after a child is born. In 1995, Sweden introduced “daddy leave”. It had an immediate impact. No father was forced to stay home, but the family lost one month of subsidies if he did not. Soon more than 80% of men accepted paternal leave. Obviously, men could not as readily validate staying at work whilst losing money.

Money is a great motivator, but pride works even better. The pride that keeps these men at work when they have the paid option at to be at home with their lovely offspring is the same pride that makes them now accept parental leaves. Since the better option has now been normalized, men are capable of accepting their newfound equality.

This is not merely a fight for equal rights for women in the workplace, but also for equal rights for men in the home. The right to stay home with your child is not one afforded to most American men, and we are supposedly a superpower country.

Gender roles are so deeply, socially ingrained from birth that it seems we can do nothing to fight Sweden’s fight. Luckily, other countries are following suit: Germany, Portugal, and Iceland.

I take at this legislation as something that America is not good at: preventative measures. While this law has helped lower the divorce rate, raise women’s pay by seven percent, fight gender inequality, and probably more often raises strongly attached children, America can’t be interested in it because it is not a quick fix.

This isn’t just about parental leave, but gender equality in general. Only twelve of the five hundred CEOS of Fortune 500 companies are women. I know that national pride is important, but it is hard to be proud of my supposed super power homeland when they are not capable of doing so many things that a tiny, peaceful country of Sweden can do.

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Boys are Yucky

Boys are gross. That’s a fact. They do gross things, and find gross things awesome. They can go four days without a shower and not notice. It’s gross. To further prove my point Reddit conducted a “what do you do” type poll and these are some of the results, none of which are shocking.

This is what men admit to doing on the toilet and my response to it:

“Pretend stream of piss is a power washer for removing the hard to get stains from the toilet.”- Why are there stains? Clean your toilet with real cleaning supplies or buy those blue things that hide them!

“Like most people, I pee in the shower. Unlike most people, I hold my penis upwards when I do it sometimes. It makes a really cool fountain.”- That is not “like most people”. You stand in urine. Then you spray urine up towards your face. Gross. So freaking gross.

“Tried to spit directly into your stream while pissing.”- WHY?!!?

“Flush mid piss and race the toilet.”- This I understand.

“I am quite confident that all men with a bathroom scale weigh themselves before and after they poop to see how much it weighed.”- So simple…men are so simple.

“When taking a piss make a circle with your fingers around the stream and try to make sure you don’t get on your hand.”- But you do get it on your hands…the pee sprays on your hands, disgusting.

“Take an epic dump so intense that you had to remove your shirt because it got so hot.”- It should not be such hard work…change your diet.

“Saw a turd in half with super-power piss-stream.” I can’t. I can’t even…how do you not gag? You know what…no…just…no.

This is what men admit to doing with their balls and my commentary:

“When your balls get stuck to your thighs in a public place, you open your legs as wide as possible without looking like a freak and let the balls slowly unstick. Best feeling.” “After you took a piss and a lil ballsack meat is stuck between your boxers and you just lift your leg like a dog who’s about to pee.” “Do a little leg kick mid walk in an attempt to unstick your balls from your leg.”- Three different ways unsticking your balls is amazing. You simple lovely creatures.

“Sit there and watch your ball sack move in and out by itself like some weird alien being. I can sit there and stare at it fluctuate for …

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Men’s Health Magazine Launches Feminist Blog

photo of sawyer mens health lost pictures

Yep, you read the title of this post right. Men’s Health magazine, usually full of ‘Upgrade Your Abs’ and ‘Have Better Sex’-type articles, has launched a blog, aimed at it’s male readers, about feminism. But is it a good thing? Whilst I initially had some reservations, I think so. Here’s why.

Firstly, the fact that Men’s Health has decided to …

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