Category Archives: marriage

Anne Hathaway is in Love

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Anne Hathaway is on the cover of Glamour gushing about her new husband. Yeah, it’s all fun and games three months in. … I’m kidding, I hope they last forever. Hathaway says, “He’s a good man. He’s beyond intelligent. He loves fearlessly. His beliefs are beautiful. He’s my best friend. I love him. I just feel that I have the greatest husband in the world for me.” That’s too much love for me so I tuned out most of it but really enjoyed that she said, “in the world for me”. Most of the time you get these celebrities spouting off about how they have the best significant other in the world and I find that pompous. They’re the best to you, for you, according to you, but let me tell you I highly doubt Andrew Garfield and I would get along, though he seems to do the deed for Emma Stone. The only woman who can say, “I have the best significant other in the world” is Eva Mendes cause she’s got Ryan Gosling, who is perfect.

Hathway goes on to say, “I would never have gotten married if it weren’t for him. You have to want to be married to someone. You have to feel that reciprocated. Marriage for marriage’s sake doesn’t make any sense to me, and I found someone with whom I could put my money where my mouth is, I guess.” Considering her last boyfriend is served 4.5 years in prison for cheating investors and falsely claiming he had connections to the Vatican (why would you brag about that?) I get it, Anne. I’m a little confused as to the “You have to want to be married to someone. You have to feel that reciprocated”. I mean, why else would you marry someone? I guess that’s her point, but I feel it’s a bit of Capitan Obvious. We get it you wanted to marry this dude and not the felon.

Later, she says, “It’s wonderful. I feel like I’ve found my other half, and I’m so excited about getting to love him for the rest of our lives.” Too much; too much love. There’s an old saying “If it’s a big show it ain’t a real go” meaning if you have to prove it and talk about it it’s probably not as good as you’re making it out to be. Only time will tell I guess. This is a celebrity marriage, but she seems to have a good head on her shoulders. I say three years….any takers?



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Kate’s Pregnant … Who Cares?

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Since Kate Middleton and Prince William got married, there have been baby rumors. Finally, the rumors are true and Kate really is knocked up. We know she is knocked up because she had to go to the hospital with morning sickness—that means this baby is already a royal pain in the ass. It also means we have nine months of watching this pregnant chick and all that comes with that. Is it a boy? A girl? What will the name be? What does this mean for Prince Harry? This will go on for nine freaking months. We don’t know the sex and probably won’t until the little jam-handed brat comes out, and that goes for the name as well. What it means for Harry is … well … nothing. He’s always known he’d never be King that’s why he gets naked in Vegas and dresses like a Nazi.

I’m sure it’s a big deal in England for the Royal Family to be having a baby …although I’m a little confused as to what the royal family does other than look cool. But why do I have to hear about it in the States? Why was it front page news when Kate Middleton got bangs? They weren’t even bangs, they were side-swept and I didn’t even notice, not to mention the photo they used was her being windblown and you couldn’t even see them so I had to search. Why does this matter?! Why was I looking for these photos? Why is her hair and baby making abilities on my news report? Why isn’t the fact that we’re second in the world for childhood poverty and seventeenth for education the top story? I think that matters a lot more than some kid I’m never going to meet that will never impact my life or Government. Can we all get a little more perspective people? Maybe I’m wrong, maybe this matters. Maybe I’m missing the point. I would love to hear from anyone who actually cares about this baby and why you care. Do me a favor, leave it in the comments and educated me on this because honestly I feel left out.



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The Truth Behind the Hefner/Harris Wedding

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I grew up thinking Playboy was no big deal. My mother grew up in L.A. and was invited several times to spend movie nights at the mansion since her friend’s mother was a playmate. When “The Girls Next Door” came on E!, I loved every minute of it. Holly was by far my favorite. For some reason that show made Hugh Hefner’s lifestyle seem normal, almost tame. Yeah, there were three girls living with him that he called his “girlfriends,” but come on. Obviously Hugh Hefner is not really dating seven girls, or even three. I’m about to drop some knowledge on you people.

Hugh Hefner pays girls to live with him and be his “girlfriends.” Shocking, I know. If you watched Holly Madison’s E! True Hollywood Story you already had a glimpse of this. In that special, they discuss how Holly was lead girl and how Hef would want to have sex with Bridgette or Kendra but both girls felt strange about it and tried to avoid it. During Kendra’s E! True Hollywood Story it was revealed that she was dating Hank Baskett while living at the mansion as a “girlfriend.” It’s fake, people. It’s all fake. They get a salary, they have to abide by certain rules, and it is a business deal.

In 2011, Hugh Hefner, then 85, announced that he was engaged to Crystal Harris, then 25. When this happened I was appalled, not at the fact that an 85-year-old was going to marry a 25-year-old, but that he didn’t propose to Holly. I mean, she was there for love—we can all agree on that. That girl put in five years; they even tried fertility treatments together. Yeah, they did. Holly really wanted babies and so they tried IVF but unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) it didn’t take. That’s when Holly realized that she wasn’t going to get marriage or babies from Hef and moved on. But he didn’t even propose during the IVF treatment, and honestly, that’s kind of shitty, Hef. You don’t propose to the girl that is doing fertility treatments so that your old ass sperm can live in that bangin’ body, the one that’s been there for five years, but you propose to Crystal Harris after a year? Come on! Anyway, the wedding plans began and then Crystal called off the marriage the day before the nuptials. She was dubbed the “runaway bride.” That never would’ve happened with Holly, I’m just saying.

Now it’s 2012 and the wedding is back on. Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris are getting married; they even picked up their marriage license. I am so grossed out by this, and again not for the age reason. Back in November I was at a gathering and was talking to someone, we were talking about …

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Thousands Of Years Of Selective History

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In various conservative political speeches on the subject of same-sex marriage, politicians, pundits, and pastors talk about the “three-thousand” or “five-thousand” years of history during which the definition of marriage has universally been a union between men and women, and for the purposes of reproducing and raising a family.

This is . . . not true. And honestly, this is going to be a fairly short post, because I do not want to just regurgitate information from this Wikipedia entry. It is a very interesting read.

But, generally, marriage has included same-sex marriages and other legal unions for same-sex couples for millennia. We all knew that homosexuality is older than the human species, and certainly not a recent thing. It was only a few years ago that I learned that same-sex marriages were not just in keeping with the spirit of a number of ancient cultures, but things that took place in an official capacity in a few, including Ancient Rome.

And not without debate. But same-sex marriage has been controversial in a lot of cultures over a long period of time. So have things like women having rights and pushes to end slavery, so that is really not a good argument against same-sex marriage.

Efforts to criminalize same-sex relations and same-sex marriage are not new, either. In 342 CE, not long after Christianity had first come to power in the Roman Empire, Constantius II and Constans outlawed same-sex marriage. While the power to do so would be the envy of many conservative groups nowadays, no mainstream opponents of marriage equality in the modern world is pushing for the other provision that the Theodosian Code imposed—anyone who was married to a member of the same sex was to be executed. Kind of the opposite of “grandfathering” someone into a law. And, obviously, horrible.

Claims that the historical definition of marriage have universally been in support of it being a purely heterosexual institution are incorrect, but it is important to remember that it is also a deeply flawed argument. Historically, marriage was often an economic or political arrangement (dowries and royal marriages, anyone?), and it was not uncommon for the unreasonably young women involved to be treated like property. They were, after all, bought and traded like property in the process of “choosing the right husband for them” in many cultures and communities.

More importantly, the fact that something has or has not always been done in a certain way is not an argument for or against anything. Particularly when it comes to human rights. The world was always terrible; it is our job as humans to improve it. And that means recognizing the rights of ourselves and our fellow citizens.



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