Is Bemoaning the Lack of Fictional Female Mentors Taking Feminism Too Far?

Picture of One Woman Mentoring Another

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

Sometimes, though, it’s … well, not.

In fact, much of the time life sort of goes along in a way that could almost be considered typical.  Stereotypical, even, odd as that sounds.

When I first read a recent piece on Jezebel lamenting the lack of strong female mentor characters, I was totally on board.  The fact that fictional mentors for young women are frequently power-hungry super bitches, arrogant (and, naturally, handsome) men, or “real characters” that often happen to be flamboyantly homosexual is inarguable.

That being said, though … so the hell what?

I am a voracious reader.  Sometimes, in fact, I think I need a 12-step program for my addiction to literature.  I also love movies.

Why?

Because it allows me to escape from my own life, to gain perspective, to think about other things.

If somebody made a movie about my life, it’d be pretty freaking boring.  And I have female mentors, several of them in fact.  Furthermore, they are real characters.

  • One of my teaching mentors has an obsession with Def Leppard that has led to tattoos in odd locations and guitar picks displayed in glass boxes on the mantle.
  • One of my life mentors recently sent me a picture of a shell she found on the beach shaped like a penis in a desperate attempt to get me to fly to North Carolina for Thanksgiving.
  • One of my writing mentors is … well, the inimitable Sarah Taylor-Spangenberg, which speaks for itself.
  • One of my motherhood mentors told me once that plastic Solo cups are the best way to keep your kids from knowing what you’re drinking.

And so on.

These are, all four and many more that I’m not bringing up, incredibly strong woman that I …

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Jezebel Raising College Funds For Teen Mom Stars, Setting a Dangerous Precedent

Photo of 'Teen Mom' 's Catelynn and Tyler

So I guess that Jezebel is impressed with Catelynn and Tyler from Teen Mom. Really impressed. Like, impressed to the point where the site is collecting donations for a college fund for the couple.

From Jezebel:

For the next two weeks, we will be accepting donations via PayPal; these contributions will go to a private account and then be given to Catelynn and Tyler. Obviously we can’t guarantee that they’ll use the cash to pay for college, but they’ve demonstrated their strong decision-making skills in the past, and we trust that they’ll put the money to good use.

Readers are then encouraged to either click on a donation button or use PayPal to donate money to send these two kids—who are becoming bigger celebrities by the day, it seems—to college. Catelynn wants to be an ultrasound technician while Tyler’s aspiration is to be a children’s counselor.

Okay, am I the only person who has a problem here? Actually, I have three beefs with this action:

1. Catelynn and Tyler made the difficult choice to give their daughter Carly up for adoption. While this is the least common choice made by adolescent parents (the other options …

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Do Feminist Blogs “Gin up” Their Page Views by Exploiting Women’s Insecurities?

photo of lolcats feminist cat

In a new post on Slate’s DoubleX, Emily Gould makes the claim that feminist blogs (specifically Jezebel, Salon Broadsheet and her own DoubleX) take advantage of women’s insecurities by essentially doing the opposite of traditional women’s magazines (i.e. criticizing models for being too skinny or women for being anti-feminist). Gould focuses specifically on the recent controversy around Olivia Munn being hired as a correspondent on The Daily Show (which was written about last week on Zelda Lily by Sarah Arboleda), and more specifically Irin Carmon’s Jezebel post (which has now received 100,000 views and 1,000 comments) about how the show is sexist since women correspondents are chosen mostly based on their looks. While there is a lot to take apart with Gould’s piece (which will no doubt be done to death by the aforementioned feminist blogs over the next few days), I will focus specifically on what I feel is Gould’s somewhat valid, yet completely naive argument …

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Three’s a Crowd: Planning a Threesome to Spice Up Your Marriage


The latest issue of Marie Claire has people talking — about sex, natch, and how many it actually takes to tango.  The right way.

Contributor Pamela Druckerman states that in planning her husband’s 40th birthday bash, instead of asking for the obligatory tie or briefcase, her husband had requested a threesome — which, had my husband requested a threesome for a birthday, instead of honoring his request, I’d have to grant him a divorce as a birthday present.  But hey … that’s just me.

However, although she approved of the ménage à trois, it was under strict condition that she choose the other woman. Druckerman claims that after naming various female friends (even pregnant ones!), her husband pretty much okayed every.  single.  one.  She’s either got some pretty hot friends or this dude’s just not that discriminating.  After seeking out various candidates, none had made the cut at that point.

Druckerman took it as her one do-or-die event to accomplish and went to the internet to seek a woman who’d be interested in sharing their bed.  She finally finds “the one” on a website offering swingers-type arrangements and chooses to meet her due to her perfect spelling and grammar in electronic communications.  (I kind of … get that, actually.)  She meets with the woman a total of three times before D-Day.

Although the piece in Marie Claire was a two-part story and not yet available on the internet, the fabulous gals over at Jezebel took it upon themselves to actually purchase a printed magazine (who still does that?) and read the finale. Evidently, after much planning, all parties pulled out of the arrangement citing opinions that the planning had become too “boring” and had taken much of the excitement out of the prospect.

I’ve never had much of an interest in three-ways and what have you, but I think the story turned out quite interesting for the Marie Claire writer and her husband.  It’s amazing the things that can pop up in a relationship that can either make you or break you — clearly she and her husband were comfortable enough with the idea to investigate it, pursue it and ultimately nix it, but I can tell you: it shows the spectrum of people’s tolerance levels because if my husband seriously asked me for a threesome after all of the time that we’ve been together … I don’t know, man.  It wouldn’t be good.  I can definitely say that it’d completely change my view of both him and the relationship.  I probably wouldn’t be able to continue with our marriage, simply on the grounds that sexual fidelity, to me, is something that has to be mandatory common ground.  When I experienced younger, wilder days I might not have thought twice about it but when marriage enters the picture, in my experiences, situations and circumstances change.

What do you guys think?  Are you for or against that third (or more) person in the bedroom?



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